To ask ditherers whether they realise how annoying they are?

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Caveat - I know some people need extra time due to age, non visible disabilities etc....

But - if you hold queues up because despite waiting for 10 minutes plus you wait until you arrive at the serving point to choose what you want......or you appear surprised that you'll need to pay and start rooting through a huge bag for a purse etc

Are you aware how annoying this?

Just really curious as the woman who held the ice cream queue tonight, deliberately over the many flavours seemed completely oblivious to everyone waiting, the children getting antsy etc

People are so mean. I'm a decisive person usually, but once when my Mum was dying I got confused at the supermarket and the woman behind me just went off at me. I was young so she assumed I was stupid and time wasting when in fact I was nursing my mum night and day, in grief and exhausted,. I still remember that awful woman years later.

Just be patient. If your time is so, so unspeakably precious, hire a servant to do your shopping.

My DP is a terrible ditherer and faffer about. He is not disabled in any way, he just can’t do anything without dithering or trying to do something else. Eg he asks if he can help me in kitchen and I say yes please, cut these tomatoes and then he will start washing the dishes... he goes off to answer a specific email and then comes back having renewed the car insurance but not having done the email. Stops to take constant photos and ask questions/look at leaves/tie laces/adjust shoes on walks while I stand there waiting for him so we can crack on. Leaving the house takes about 29 mins while he finds all his stuff, has a wee, gets distracted by something ... He’s lucky I love him

@Mummyoflittledragon I should have specified the same caveat as the op. As in people who just have no valid reason to dither. You clearly and sadly have a very valid reason.

Before anyone pipes up with “but you don’t know/hidden disability” I agree. I don’t know which is why Iv refrained from throwing chilled goods at people in the supermarket. My vitriol is aimed at those who are just plain stupid.

Apologies poster, you were not in the catchment area my offence was aimed at.

They go on my list with people who stop dead at the end of and escalator...Erm we’re still moving here.

The people who stop dead as they go through a doorway whether it’s on the way in or out.

People who dick about at cash machines getting a mini statement from 3 different accounts then deliberating whether to take out cash or not (so glad to go cashless these days).

People who meet someone they know in a supermarket and stop for a long chinwag (this has been improved during social distancing). I want a jar of coffee but Mavis is blocking the shelf telling a friend of a friend about her cousins cats diarrhoea. If you say ‘excuse me‘ you get tutted at like you just took a dump in their trolley, despite being in the bloody right!

Yes!! OP THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY!! 🤣 Especially in security queues at the airport!! I mean you can see everyone else taking off their coats, belts and shoes, taking out the laptops, phones etc, taking their dc out of the pram/buggy, you can hear the voice overhead telling what to get ready, you can see the bloody screens all around showing you what to do and yet they STILL get to the security guy and look at him like as if they are shocked that all the rules actually DO apply to them too!!! Ffs!!

I really don’t like impatient people, I’m dyslexic and sometimes certain things take a bit longer than the norm or I get confused or forgetful despite trying to be a bit more organised I’m not perfect for sure. But when you know there is someone impatiently champing at the bit because I’m struggling/dithering that would only fluster me more and make things worse.

Therefore I’m very patient with people, I don’t mind a queue I wait calmly and try and give myself extra time to do things - I arrive early when shops are quiet etc so not to upset impatient unpleasant people.

I had one of these in my local small morrisons (this one does not have the bottom of the aisles closed off like the big ones). I stood back waiting on the line. Cross with myself I never got a basket so go to the quick till, but I had some heavy bags from Iceland next door so I got a trolley. She unpacked some of her shopping but then got her phone out, text someone, meanwhile the man was putting her shopping through, she then carried on making sure it was all in group order. Then said ohh I forgot sugar so went off and got that. It had all gone through nearly by the time she had got to the front, she then packed it all really slow. He obviously could not put mine through because of social distancing. She then spent ages looking for her more card and then could not remember her pin. Then had a chat to the guy about how she got to put it all away when get home and it takes her ages (I thought not surprised) :) For once I was not in a rush thank god

@drivingmisspotty well said!

@Keeva2017
Thanks. That’s fine. I wasn’t upset or anything. Just giving a different perspective.

50% of the population dither and faff and the other half rush around.

They will always annoy each other. It would just be good if the ditherers would get out of the way of the rushers from time to time!

It's like the idiots that wait until they get to the front of a giant boarding/passport line to start looking for their ticket/passport in their hand luggage

and those who can't just check in, always have some sort of long complicated question. I think it's attention seeking most of the time.

@nowaitaminute

Yes!! OP THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY!! 🤣 Especially in security queues at the airport!! I mean you can see everyone else taking off their coats, belts and shoes, taking out the laptops, phones etc, taking their dc out of the pram/buggy, you can hear the voice overhead telling what to get ready, you can see the bloody screens all around showing you what to do and yet they STILL get to the security guy and look at him like as if they are shocked that all the rules actually DO apply to them too!!! Ffs!!

Spot on. The current restrictions on liquids in hand luggage have been in place since 2006 and are available to check on the website of every airport and airline. And STILL clueless ditherers arrive at security search having not paid any attention to the simple rules with too much stuff and no plastic bag, holding everyone else up because they are too stupid or lazy to check. They should be KNEECAPPED!

There’s being impatient and Being frustrated.

I can be the most patient person ever, but it bugs the hell out of me when people aren’t prepared to pay for their items or having their train ticket ready.

They don’t step aside to let someone else go whilst they ferret out with the handbag big enough to carry the kitchen sink but prefer to stand right in the way whilst they have a good fiddle

This makes me really sad, like @NameChange84 says.

How do you know all those "ditherers" don't have conditions that affect their ability to process information and make decisions quickly? And yes I read your lazy caveat. You don't have .

It's not just disabilities or the elderly: it could be down to conditions that affect a huge number of people such as dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety.

It doesn't even have to be a condition, as happened to me at an airport a few years ago. I had post viral exhaustion, and was also emotionally exhausted having been to visit a very ill relative. I'm usually pretty efficient but this time became flustered at the bag check when I realised I'd messed up with packing something and ended up faffing and an airport staff member was unbelievably rude to me. A bit of patience and empathy would have gone a long way. You never know why someone might have made the decision they make.

@Mummyoflittledragon for sure and if I’m tempted to throw in the towel and throw a quiche Lorraine at a ditherer I will remember your point (not snarky, genuinely, it’s easy to forget sometimes. Well accept people who stop at the bottom of escalators, they’ve got it coming )

Very true....(still gives me the rage)

My ex used to stop dead in the middle of the street to read or reply to a text whilst we were on the way to the bus stop - which ran every half hour. He used to think I was massively impatient and I couldn't get him to understand that he can check messages at the bus stop, especially if we have half an hour wait because we would miss the bus that was due . Totally idiotic.
Like preparing all the veg before putting the turkey in the oven.

I fear I may be a ditherer. No matter how organised I am, I still manage to forget some essential item or piece of information. I can often be found rummaging in my bag for x, y or z. Not every time, but enough for it to be an issue. I can have my purse at the ready to pay for stuff (I've got that one down to a fine art), but then I can't extract my bank card, or realise my shopping bags are still folded up in my handbag and then I'm all fingers and thumbs trying to organise them in the trolley. I spend ages gazing at tinned peas/bags of porridge oats/frozen fish, trying to make decisions. Since the coronavirus crisis, I've been clicking and collecting and thereby staying out of everybody's one way system!

My son is currently being assessed for ADHD and I suspect I have many traits. Or I could just be an annoying twat.

Some people have health issues which are not immediately obvious. They may have had to make a huge effort to get out because they don’t have anyone to help them. Hopefully some of the people on this thread will never find themselves in that situation.

I really wonder how ditherers are at work. If a clear or urgent response or decision is required, what do they do then? I wonder if its lack of thought and/or poor organisation & planning skills . I've already decided what I want or what I'll do before doing most things. People who dither only seem to think at the time, in the moment.

A friend of ours couldn’t walk and talk at the same time - and he talked a lot, so there was a lot of stopping if we were out. So irritating!

When driving he always slowed down when talking, too - and he talked a lot then, too.
He was also one of those people who, if you said we were leaving at 12.15 to go for lunch, would only start getting himself ready at 12.15, and keep the rest of us waiting for 15 minutes.
Every bloody time.
I think he did it on purpose - everyone always had to dance to his tune.

@AgeLikeWine
These ppl need shot, or maybe just refused on the flight.
I flew from Glasgow a few months ago, dozens upon dozens of huge signs detailing what security covers and of course Im behind the twat that waits until the body scanner to declare ‘oh do I need to remove things’ 😤😤
Just remove her, right outside!!!

My DP is a ditherer. The number of times we've gone out for dinner only for him to say "oh I've not even looked at the menu yet" when the waiter comes to take our order and I've been browsing the menu for the last 5 minutes...

They're kind of the same as people who are always late, and some people are both. Ultimately selfish and self absorbed (in my opinion )

my mother is s ditherer. and always late as well.
she is very controlling and therefore I am lc