To ask ditherers whether they realise how annoying they are?

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Caveat - I know some people need extra time due to age, non visible disabilities etc....

But - if you hold queues up because despite waiting for 10 minutes plus you wait until you arrive at the serving point to choose what you want......or you appear surprised that you'll need to pay and start rooting through a huge bag for a purse etc

Are you aware how annoying this?

Just really curious as the woman who held the ice cream queue tonight, deliberately over the many flavours seemed completely oblivious to everyone waiting, the children getting antsy etc

Also. Maybe, just maybe, the person who has a chat to the person on the till hasn’t spoken to anyone else all day.

Oh god. I once went to London with a group of friends. There were four of us. We had decided before to travel to catch a play the night we arrived by popping to the ticket office at Leicester Square and seeing what was available at a bargain for same day tickets. There were 3 things that were potentials but could two of them decide and commit. They ummed and ahhed for about thirty mins before my other pal and I said they needed to decide or we'd just get our tickets and leave them to sort themselves. They didn't decide, and ended up spending the evening in a travelodge instead of at the theatre.

TLDR dithering is a pain. Make a decision. Be prepared for life.

She honestly takes 10x longer than the other staff there to do any kind of transaction. I’ll be stood in the queue holding heavy parcels watching her stick labels on as slowly as possible, open the till and stare at it for 10 seconds before doing anything, insisting on circling tracking numbers on receipts and explaining to each and every customer how tracking works, even though this is a very small town and she knows fine well who posts regularly there and already knows this shit. It’s painful.

There is a guy like that at my local supermarket, I have seen people veer away from his checkout. I always go to his and chat with him.

Yanbu op - this pandemic has brought them all out in the supermarket.

Littering the aisles, wandering around the round way, manhandling the produce. My particular bug bear is standing next to specific sections of food for ages having a chat about what to get for tea. You can’t just do a bright “excuse me” while you grab wear you need. You have to fucking wait these days.

It’s ignorant to have such little self awareness of other people.

It’s ignorant to assume your time is far more important than anyone else’s

Perhaps those of you with no tolerance would like to shop online? The world will be a far more pleasant place then

My DH is a ditherer it drives me round the bend. If we ever go to the supermarket together then I literally send him off to get 3 items, honestly I can done most of the rest of the shop while he is still dealing with what soup to buy.

He also loves to do tasks just as we need to leave, which are totally unconnected to leaving, and then he’ll take an hour to do them.

I can’t stand people dithering in the supermarket. So annoying. Not talking about little old ladies type dithering but arses who chat in their phone whilst trying to open bags and put shopping in whilst scanning and arranging it nicely. Or analysing every carrot they pick up and bag (it was a big bag in the end). Or choosing which tomato ketchup to have - 3 minutes is OTT. Or chatting with Shaz about what booze to get for their party. Aaaarrrggghhhh.

I've not read the whole thread but, yes, ditherers do get to me sometimes.... although I know I can be a bit of a ditherer at times, too.

I save my real ire for the polar opposite of ditherers; those taking off their seatbelts on planes, and standing up to get their shit out of the overhead lockers before the plane has come to a standstill. They make me want to karate chop them in the windpipe whilst screaming 'SIT THE FUCK DOWN' half an inch from their faces.

Years ago on a flight my sister, who has the same hatred of the type of individual mentioned above, almost had a coronary of rage when the bloke sitting in the window seat tried to CLIMB OVER HER LAP in an effort to exit the plane more quickly. I was sitting in the seat across the aisle and slightly in front, and was alerted to the incident by my sister yelling at him to sit down!

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Today 06:59 Nishky

It’s ignorant to assume your time is far more important than anyone else’s

Completely agree with you - dithers seem to have little no comprehension that their inability to manage their time/decisions impacts so detrimentally on other people

I know a ditherer who drives everyone around her mad. She is always late too. She constantly apologises or faffs or talks about irrelevant stuff when others are looking at menus or getting ready to pay for tickets etc.

Once met up with a group of friends, including the ditherer who had all travelled a long way to meet. Ditherer is late, she missed her train because she was doing her washing!!! The group then miss out on things planned for the day as we wait around for ditherer to arrive.

This ditherer is just self centred. Yes, people have different reasons for dithering, but some people just lack consideration and common sense.

It must be so miserable getting so wound up about such inconsequential things. I’m not a ditherer, I zip about all over the place and make decisions quickly. That doesn’t make me superior to someone who might need a bit more time to process information. A bit aghast at PP calling people stupid if they need to take time to process things.

Learn some patience. If I haven’t got time to be held up, I don’t put myself in those situations. I use self scan at the supermarket, order online, take my lunch with me to work, etc. I wouldn’t join a long ice cream queue if I wasn’t prepared to wait a bit.

I also hate them. I was stuck behind a woman nearly all the way around the supermarket the other day because of their one way system. She seemed to be taking ages just to choose simple things. Eg red onions she had to touch and squeeze the entire shelf of them then chose just one. She used up all my patience that day.

Another example - people who can't decide in restaurants then forget what they've ordered. And then insist they ordered their other choice, and send it back?

This happens in the staff cafe all the time (well, not now, as 90% of staff are working from home and the cafe isn't open, but..)
Yes, it's very annoying.
Worst of all are those who don't get their oyster or ticket out before they hit the barriers in rush hour. Step to the side, find ticket and then get back into the crowd. FFS.

Yes I was stuck behind a ditherer in the supermarket too last week. She spend about 5 minutes examining every identical chicken to decide which one she wanted. Oblivious to everyone else.

Not as annoying as the 10 minute long Covid messages at the beginning of every single phone call.
Yes I know we have covid - fuck off. The neighbours have heard some choice words this week.
GP surgery this week started with covid - 10 minutes, then if you think you are having a heart attack blah blah blah, THEN the many many options which I have to replay twice because I've gone into a coma at this point followed by "we are closed for lunch".
It's a good thing they don't record the ensueing swearing.
I don't think my blood pressure is suited to modern life.

I hate people who assume that if you are taking your time at the front of the queue you are dithering.

My particular bugbear (sorry to pick on this pp)
I always notice that in queues where you can see the options while you're waiting yet wait until you're at the till to decide.

Just because you can see the options doesn’t mean that I can. I used to get pressured into choosing something that I knew was an option or asking for something that I would be there rather than asking for help.

In an ice cream queue if there’s a green one I know there’s a pretty good chance it’s mint choc chop or pistachio....but sometimes I want the limited edition piña colada with cherry swirls.

One of my friends keeps telling me they have my birthday card for my milestone birthday and will give it to me..........this birthday was 2 years ago LOL. If I say don't worry about it, I've forgotten about said milestone, they get all offended.

I just don’t understand the pp saying ‘it’s hard to choose’ it’s really not, a or b choose, especially with food, surely you know what you like!

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin and bad tempered people don’t realise that their inability to plan their time meaning any delay makes them froth is their problem- not someone else’s

Not enough time to shop? Do it another time. Late for an appointment? Leave earlier

It is quite simple really

"or you appear surprised that you'll need to pay and start rooting through a huge bag for a purse etc"

This OP! Made me laugh. Bloody happens all the time! People get to the cashier and look surprised they can't just walk away with the bags

@Nishky

I’m not sure what made you think I’m bad tempered or can’t manage my time?

It’s rude to insist on holding everyone else up and not to be self aware enough to think about how your actions impacts others.

@Pipandmum

Nope they don't notice. Yesterday at Tesco there was a couple and teenage daughter (though I thought it was one person per household still) looking at the specialty cheeses. I was waiting 2m away for them to choose and move on. Mother picks up a cheese. Chats to her husband and puts it back, and picks up another. Then daughter rocks up and she can clearly see me waiting as she is facing me. Another chat ensues. Finally the mother makes her choice and they slowly move on. Painful. But oblivious. If they had just been standing there chatting I would have asked them to step aside, but they seemed to be deciding what to get, though taking a very very long time!

Surely they shouldn’t all have been out shopping together?

You can’t just do a bright “excuse me” while you grab wear you need. You have to fucking wait these days

I absolutely do grab what I need. I don't reach across them but I will say "could I please just get to the shelf" and then get what I need.

It's a different thread but I have no idea why people have started the family outings to the supermarkets again

It’s rude to insist on holding everyone else up and not to be self aware enough to think about how your actions impacts others

Quite.

I've got to say though I've never quite understood the "rifling through your bag for your purse" thing. If you have a bag in one hand and a basket in the other, how are you supposed to get your purse out before you get to the till and can put things down? That is actually one thing that doesn't annoy me.