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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think 25 is too old to live at home

194 replies

User37372 · 01/06/2020 14:55

Pays rent and helps with households chores. Is this socially acceptable or is it the age where people start to
Judge someone for living at home?

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 01/06/2020 14:56

20 years ago, maybe. The way the housing market is now, I’d say this is pretty common.

ZaraW · 01/06/2020 14:57

Does it really matter if the arrangement works well? I have dysfunctional parents, I left at 19.

RedskyAtnight · 01/06/2020 14:58

Surely everyone lives at their home?

(never understood why people refer to their parents' house as "home" when they don't live there any more)

Ughmaybenot · 01/06/2020 14:58

It would be for me personally but whatever works really. Not everyone wants to move out or has the financial ability to move out.

TheFencePainter · 01/06/2020 14:59

I personally think that people should go and live on their own before settling down with a partner in a future. It makes them much more self sufficient. Both, my DH and I, did live in sharehouses before we met so we know how to take care of ourselves, sort bills, pay rent, budget for everything etc. Oh and how to do washing, clean and cook...

But what works for us, may not work for someone else.

Hugglespuffed · 01/06/2020 14:59

I am just a bit older than 25 and I know loads of people still living at home. I would have moved back in with my parents after uni if they lived somewhere that I wanted to live but they don't. If I had moved in with them then I'd definitely have been able to buy by now because they wouldn't have charged as much rent as I currently pay.

DramaAlpaca · 01/06/2020 15:00

It's very common now. My 25 & 26 year olds live away from home at the moment but they are like boomerangs, they keep coming home depending on what's going on in their lives. A lot of their friends are still living at home too. It's very socially acceptable as far as I'm concerned.

june2007 · 01/06/2020 15:02

If it suits everyone then that is fine. I lived at home at that age as did a few of my friends. We had been away and come back.

Hugglespuffed · 01/06/2020 15:03

@RedskyAtnight my parents house will always be home to me. It is the house I lived in all of my childhood and they have no plans to move, ever.
I don't think that will ever change.
What I find sad is adults who don't feel at home at their parents house..my lovely friend was saying last week how she always feels like a guest at her parents houses (split up) and i just cant imagine ever feeling like that.

Sparklingbrook · 01/06/2020 15:03

It wouldn't bother me if my two were still here at 25. I bought a house at 23 but that's not the norm now.

coldwarenigma · 01/06/2020 15:04

Depends if they are living as contributing adults or as part of an extended childhood and still are 'kids' in the house. A 'kid' situation would be deeply unattractive and even at that age I would have avoided a relationship with someone like it.

raspberryk · 01/06/2020 15:05

I'd have been embarrassed to live at home at 25, it was bad enough at 27/8 for 5 days between moving houses when I became single.
I think 25 is about the cut off for anything more than short term.

NC4Now · 01/06/2020 15:06

If they are contributing and pulling their weight, who cares? But I don’t think it’s unusual these days. I couldn’t have done it, but BIL didn’t leave till he was 28. He was too comfortable!

ClashCityRocker · 01/06/2020 15:06

Yes, wouldn't bat an eyelid. In our office I reckon about half of the under thirties still live at home

IndiaMay · 01/06/2020 15:09

It depends, I would maybe find it weird if they didnt have a plan/werent working towards anything. I moved back to parents at 22, saved for 2/3 years and bought my first house at 25 so I was still living at my parents home for some of my 25th year but it was because I needed to save money to buy somewhere. If someone was 25 and in education/needed help with childcare as they were a single parent/saving for something etc. I would understand why they lived at home. If they were living with parents for no real reason and drifting with no purpose it would be a bit weird.

Windyatthebeach · 01/06/2020 15:09

My ds bought his own house at 25.. 3 adults in a house was a bit claustrophobic.. And having his mates and gf's (casuals - cough -) was a bit awkward..

FloreanFortescue · 01/06/2020 15:10

Two of my closest friends still live "at home" at 29 and 30. It has to do with out area being blindingly expensive. I was lucky enough to meet a man and move in with him into our first house at 22 straight from uni. 3 years later we bought our second home together. If you're single around here, you've no chance of getting on the ladder. Even renting is crazy money.

yellowhighheels · 01/06/2020 15:12

I think pretty normal in a lot of cultures and more so in UK cultures where it has been the norm to move out quite young as the property market is getting less accessible.

I wouldn't think most reasonable people would judge someone's living situation (and sod those who do). However, it would a bit unusual if the young person lived like a teenager rather than an otherwise mature adult i.e. mum and dad do all their washing, transport, cooking and clean up after them.

I moved back home for about 8 months at 26/27 when a good temporary job opportunity came up near my parents'. I was a working adult and contributed to the home, nobody thought anything of it. Plus it was quite fun!

dayslikethese1 · 01/06/2020 15:13

It wouldn't be for me personally, I always wanted to live away from my family and make my own life. Most people I know lived in houseshares after university and I think it helps you grow up and become independent. But then again if everyone is happy with the arrangement then I guess it's up to the individuals involved.

IAlreadyHadOne · 01/06/2020 15:13

I'm 25 and live at home. I moved out with my ex for a while but that ended and I moved back. I am happy here and I am able to save up for a deposit as opposed to renting somewhere and having little money left over. (I feel lucky to be able to do this)

I would say its not entirely uncommon for people my (our) age, especially those of us who are single.

1990shopefulftm · 01/06/2020 15:13

I m 25 and feel very lucky to be a homeowner, if they re contributing and working towards buying or renting in the future I certainly wouldn't judge anyone.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/06/2020 15:15

Normal in London.

MintyMabel · 01/06/2020 15:17

20 years ago, maybe

I lived at home in my early twenties 20 years ago. It was quite common amongst my peer group.

BubblesBuddy · 01/06/2020 15:20

Plenty have to live at home for a lot longer these days. Buying a home without a partner is expensive and some DC work in the area they grew up in so no need to move.

That said, my DDs are in their 20s and most house share within their friendship groups. Hardly any live at home. A few are buying but mostly they rent. Mainly they rent/buy because of work location and they wish to be independent. I think after 30, someone living with their parents doesn’t really want to move out. Mine like their own lives and to have dinner parties and friends round until all hours etc. And doing stuff without us knowing! It’s what being young is all about!!

Bluntness100 · 01/06/2020 15:22

I think as long as there is realistic plans for the person to become independent.

Living independently is a right of passage, and helps people mature as they manage that. I’d be concerned if there were no plans to move out in the foreseeable future.

I’d also think it must be a bit stifling, at that age you have friends or partners over, and that lacks privacy if you’re still in your parents house.

Failure to launch is really only a concern if there is no solid plan to move and become independent though.

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