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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think 25 is too old to live at home

194 replies

User37372 · 01/06/2020 14:55

Pays rent and helps with households chores. Is this socially acceptable or is it the age where people start to
Judge someone for living at home?

OP posts:
Floofsquidge · 01/06/2020 17:29

I lived with my parents for a while in my mid 30s after my marriage broke down and living together in separate rooms became impossible without trying to kill each other. I had to continue paying the mortgage on a house I didn't live in, until we sold the house, so there was no way I could afford both mortgage and rent, and he had nowhere else to go so I moved out. We then bought our own separate houses a year later.

Coughsyrupsucks · 01/06/2020 17:38

I think it’s really common now. BIL is 33 and showing no signs of leaving.

userabcname · 01/06/2020 17:40

Fairly normal. Most people I was at uni with moved home after their degrees to save, which is what I did. Now I believe it's quite typical to skip moving out for uni altogether- certainly neither my brother nor quite a few of his friends can afford to live away so study locally and stay at home.

Devlesko · 01/06/2020 17:46

None of mine were still at home at 26.
Middle one went at 25 been in his home since feb, so glad he got in when he did.
Eldest first house at 19.
I'd expect them to be almost ready with a good deposit by this age.
My dd is 16 and looking already, not that she'll be ready for a few years yet.

BillyAndTheSillies · 01/06/2020 17:53

DB is about to turn 27 and still living at home.
He has no plans to leave at the moment. Works full time, pays minimal board but contributes to food and bills and is single.

My parents live in east London and there is no feasible way my brother would be able to afford somewhere on his own without moving pretty far away which leaves him far away from work as well, and he never bothered learning to drive.

He struggles with it since he had lived away at uni and travelled for two years but my parents are very laid back and he can come and go as he pleases and he is also respectful of them in terms of letting them know when he will be staying out overnight so they can lock up etc.

I find it alien because I never really went back to my parents after uni. I'd met DH within a year and we bought a flat 6 months later. But London is very different to how it was even 10 years ago property wise.

raspberryk · 01/06/2020 17:55

@ouch321 haha actually completely wrong, I've never been rich. I was too proud to move back in with my parents even during my divorce proceedings as a single parent on unpaid maternity leave without a penny to my name and I am currently "extremely poor" as I am a mature student. My new DP nets 12k per year.

daisypond · 01/06/2020 17:56

Normal where I live - London. I know whole families living with their parents.

EmeraldShamrock · 01/06/2020 18:00

It isn't much different from a house share.

GrandTheftWalrus · 01/06/2020 18:04

I moved out at 21. Even when my marriage ended I never went home. Moved into a flat on my own. Then DP moved in a year later.

I couldn't imagine living at home at 25. I got married at that age.

Deadringer · 01/06/2020 18:04

As a pp said, if it works for your family, does it matter what anyone else thinks?

GrumpyHoonMain · 01/06/2020 18:30

couldn't imagine living at home at 25. I got married at that age.

It’s common enough. Most people I know get married between 24-26 and just move from parents to their new place (with a healthy deposit).

maybelou · 01/06/2020 18:34

Hmm...I wouldn't say it's socially unacceptable but I do find it a little bit strange personally even though I know there are many good reasons for doing so.

When I meet people at work or whatever and they're mid twenties and still living at home I do make an immediate judgement call of not-a-'proper'-adult (I know, that's judgey!!) but I just think there's a lot of maturity and independence that you can only get from NOT living with your parents and until you do, you're always going to be a child at home no matter how much money you pay towards living there and how many chores you do.

Worstyear2020 · 01/06/2020 18:38

Never thought this would categorised as socially unacceptable. I am happy for my children to stay and save money on their house deposit as long as they do their chores and share the food and utility bills.

Proudboomer · 01/06/2020 18:46

A lot of snide judgemental types on this thread.

Who’s business is it anyway? If all parties are happy then crack on and ignore anyone who thinks differently.

EmeraldShamrock · 01/06/2020 18:52

I've friends who divorced separated who live happily with their widowed parent.
Another friend bought a house with her DM. It doesn't matter where you live as long as your comfortable safe and happy. You really shouldn't give a shit for judgey people think they'll always find something to get their pants in a knot.

PaperMonster · 01/06/2020 19:08

I think it’s perfectly reasonable.

DieSchottin93 · 01/06/2020 19:14

I'd like to move out and ideally buy my first house but until I have a salaried job I feel it's more sensible for me to stay with my parents for the time being. I do contribute to the household and pay some rent and I have managed to save a decent deposit so for me it's a case of waiting til the time is right (which I'm hoping won't be too long). DB moved back home for 4 years after uni and in that time he saved hard and he bought his first house last year.

justtb · 01/06/2020 19:14

I know many people my age (25) and older who still live at home. Most of them don't pay rent or do housework or anything - I think that's very wrong. But it's just normal now and will probably get worse post corona

mylittlesandwich · 01/06/2020 19:23

I think it's pretty acceptable. I love my mum to bits and I'm 27. Living with her would however drive me up the wall.

Devlesko · 01/06/2020 19:27

Who cares what is socially acceptable, going against is usually more beneficial anyway. Only boring people need to be socially acceptable.

rockingthelook · 01/06/2020 21:45

Myself and my sibling both moved out in our early 20's and that was fine, but someone I work with has 3 sons, one late 20's the other two in their 30's, they give her £120 each per month, she cooks for them every evening, does their washing and she says they are all happy....I bet they are, being very judgmental here, if I was a female I'd run a mile, can you imagine staying over, wonder who'd get the top bunk lol ?
Having said that, it must be so hard to be young and trying to get your own place nowadays, rent is high and hard to save for a mortgage deposit

Gregoria67 · 01/06/2020 21:50

Depends what country/culture you live in.

But it's nobody's business but yours anyway. If everyone's comfortable and happy, carry on.

snowybean · 01/06/2020 22:11

I'm almost 32 and in two months' time myself, my baby girl and my DP are moving back in with my parents for up to a year whilst we save for a house 👌

PrincessHoneysuckle · 01/06/2020 22:12

Yes

Dee1975 · 01/06/2020 22:14

No right or wrong here. If you are happy then why not? And I assume use this time to save money to save? I bet a lot of those in their twenties wish they were able to still live at home and save. Saving and paying high rent is very hard.
Take advantage of your situation. Do what’s right for you!

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