To ask if you think 25 is too old to live at home

[User37372]

Pays rent and helps with households chores. Is this socially acceptable or is it the age where people start to
Judge someone for living at home?

I would judge a 25 year old that lives with their parents (unless their parents are ill and they are their carer).

I also won't be allowing my DC to live at home after 21.

It's so important to learn to live independently as a single person. So many relationship conflicts arise from men moving straight out from their mum's house to live with a girlfriend, with unrealistic ideas about household chores.

I'd like to say yes, way too old. But the truth is, our youngest is in a poorly paid job, no way he'll be able to get his own flat or even deposit for a house share without our help. We'll probably be able to do that for him once he earns enough for an ordinary rent, but lots of people don't have that luxury.

We're able to ask him for a lower rent because we bought our house cheaply 30 years ago and have already paid off the mortgage. If he moves from home, he'll have to pay market rents. His salary would just about cover rent and bills but wouldn't leave anything to live on.

My SIL was still living with my inlaws until she was 31, she has a severe dislike of other people and saved to buy her house alone, she didn't want to rent as she said it was money she could be saving. She now has a 30% mortgage and she has her own house.

I personally would have hated to stay with my parents until that age, I moved out at 18 moved back at 21 as I lost my job, and then back out again at 23 into dh flat.

Although my brother isn't "at home" , he still has a bedroom at my parents even though the have downsized, because he is at uni (who back with them for the time being) and he didn't know if he's going to apply for jobs in our home town or elsewhere yet.

User37372

I do not know if it is socially acceptable because I only do what makes me happy and feel right.

Are you parents and you happy. If so why not?

If people can't afford to move out there aren't any better options, I mean would you want your kids to move out and get into debt because their salary doesn't meet the cost of living in the area?

I lived at home until 34, this allowed me to save for a deposit for a home, rather than spending it all on rent & being stuck renting forever.

I have my own home now, it was the only way I could afford it, no regrets.

I should say, I lived away from home from 18yrs, living abroad for university - so I did live independently for over a decade. Then got stuck in the rent trap & moved home for 5 years to save.

If people can't afford to move out there aren't any better options, I mean would you want your kids to move out and get into debt because their salary doesn't meet the cost of living in the area?

I know plenty of people living in rental accommodation in London while working low wage jobs. It's perfectly possible without getting into debt.

Do you know all their financial situations? I mean if you spend half your take home pay on rent and also have bills, commuting and food it's going to be a squeeze.

Young people are not the same as they they were when I was young (I'm 58). We were prepared to live in squats, horrible, rank bedsits and share dives with our mates so we could be out having a good time. I left home at 16. I had to because my parents moved abroad and didn't want me to go with them.
People now don't seem to want to live like that, they would rather live at home until late in life.
My next door neighbours have two adult sons living with them both in their late 30's.

Many people do live in shitholes still they just pay huge amounts to do so

As ever, the answer is 'it depends'.

If the price, quality and convenience of flatshares is poor and they have a great and mature relationship with their parents - nope, no judgement.

If they're a loser still living out a teenage relationship with their parents and is too immature to fend for themselves even with the support of their flatmates - yep, I tend to both judge and fight shy of being friends with them.

I'm not a fan of people who don't have their shit together (which applies to people living with or without their parents). They tend to be a pain in the arse, even if their justification is that they're 'having fun'.

Usually that 'fun' involves a failure to mature, an inability to plan long term, and an at best casual disregard for how that fun affects anyone else.

Do you know all their financial situations? I mean if you spend half your take home pay on rent and also have bills, commuting and food it's going to be a squeeze.

Yes and that teaches them to be frugal, budget well, prioritise, etc. Damn useful skills when you have a family to feed later in life!

@BlueGreenYellowRed

I would judge a 25 year old that lives with their parents (unless their parents are ill and they are their carer).

I also won't be allowing my DC to live at home after 21.

It's so important to learn to live independently as a single person. So many relationship conflicts arise from men moving straight out from their mum's house to live with a girlfriend, with unrealistic ideas about household chores.

So what will you do when they hit 21?

Most 21 year olds i know are just leaving university with huge amounts of debt

It's also about providing motivation for improvement. If they're not comfortable then they'll work hard to get a better job.

So what will you do when they hit 21?Most 21 year olds i know are just leaving university with huge amounts of debt

Get a job and houseshare with a few mates. Obviously. Isn't that what most of us did???

@BlueGreenYellowRed

My house share (no where near london) required a deposit + fees of around 1500, no way i could have done that without clearing my overdraft off from university. Its also pretty uncommon for people to leave university straight into a job, even though id started i had to have 3 months pay slips for a house share anyway

I know plenty of people living in rental accommodation in London while working low wage jobs. It's perfectly possible without getting into debt.
Yup. Often (especially newcoming) foreigners who manage to live in London, have fun and save. And not in shitholes. I know many people who live in nice sharehouses and still are not getting into debt. Obviously there are shit properties too. But they can be avoided. One of my friends and her DH stayed in sharehouse even with the baby for extra year so they could buy. They have nice 3 bed all for themselves now and were laughing at the beginning that it feels quiet and empty compare to the house before so they had tv on in a background for a while

I would support their step into independence by paying for the deposit and being a guarantor for those first few months.

Even when i moved into an individual rented with partner at 25 ( After having been full time employed in a professional job for 4 years, and renting for 3), i really struggled to find an estate agent who didnt want my parents as a guarantor.

I was declined three times because of that

I wish ds1 was living here instead of paying rent 20 minutes away. But he likes his freedom and I was the same at that age.
I then bought a flat at 23, that isn't possible now for most kids.

Its also pretty uncommon for people to leave university straight into a job/

I know. I didn't get my graduate level job until 3 years after I graduated. In that time I worked as a waitress while doing further training and unpaid work experience. Going home to live with my parents never even crossed my mind (even though we have a great relationship) and I lived independently even through periods of unemployment in that time.

So yeah I do judge adults who aren't prepared to act their age.

I agree independent living is the best thing for young adults. Being too used to mums house doesn't do you any favours.
But in these times a lot of youngsters don't have the luxury of choice.

I think perceptions have changed too. Where I lived and rented at 22 I wouldn't let ds live like that. It was bloody horrible.

Yes its too old. I think you should be out by 21.whether thats renting on your own or with friends etc.

It helps people learn to budget and pay bills etc and start their life properly i think