To ask if you think 25 is too old to live at home

[User37372]

Pays rent and helps with households chores. Is this socially acceptable or is it the age where people start to
Judge someone for living at home?

My brother in law is 34. It kind of got beyond reasonable once he hit 30. I mean, each to his own, but he's struggled to find a relationship (something he wants) and living with his folks women don't see him as a serious long term prospect.

There is a difference if someone is living at home contributing financially as an adult and someone who wants to be 15 forever.
My only concern is as parents age you may do more for them if they lose independence making it harder to leave.
My aunt didn't marry she stayed to look after my Nanny she has regrets.

I was at home one semester after college to earn money for graduate school. On my own ever since.

In my best friend's culture, it's the norm to live with parents until you are married.

I think 25 is a bit old, and I want my kids on their own by then, but never say never!

From a parents point of view I don't think it's always easy and I would be disappointed if my DS was still living at home in his mid 20s (illness or unemployment excepted of course). Having him from uni due to Covid isn't easy - on both sides - I am sure he misses his freedom and independence and we parents miss our peace and quiet . Often young people revert to 'teenage mode', perhaps without realising and parents can find it challenging to treat the young person as an adult when they don't behave like one.

Someone commented about the young persons social life, what about the parents social life? Obviously not relevant at the moment but I don't particularly want to mix with my friends' 20 something 'children' when I visit and I am equally sure they don't want to mix with me.

@ouch321

**Gosh you can tell all the rich people on Mumsmet dominate can't you.

"I'd be embarrassed to live at home at 25".

Not everyone has the £50k a year graduate jobs that many do on here that facilitate being sufficiently well off only 4 years after leaving university to buy a property.

Unless you aren't welcome at your parents' house it makes no sense to throw away money on rent.**

I wasn’t rich- my mam was dead. I had no family ‘home’. It was either move in with friends or live on the streets.....!

I’m confused. Who gives a f*ck what anyone else thinks? Live your life as you see fit.

I left home at 18 to go to university and lived with my boyfriend (now husband) for 2 years after that while he did his masters and I did various travelling, internships and bar work. I then ended up living with my future in-laws for 2 years while I got my career properly off the ground and saved for a house deposit. My husband also needed 2 years worth of proof of income to get a mortgage as he is a freelancer. It worked out well for us. We never got comfortable though and were eager to have our own space.

No. My sister just moved out at 27 and she's a doctor. She wanted to save and they had room. I moved out at 22 but only because I had a job lined up 300 miles away.

My best mates just moved out as well at 25. I think 28/29 is when it becomes a bit odd but not if they're retraining or went to uni late or something.

One of my other friends lives at home and shares a room with her 17 yo sister. She's 25.

I have single friends who still live with their parents in their 30s (south Asian) and that's also fine with me. I don't care where they live.

FFS. Do what you want. If everyone is happy, there should be no issue. Life is too short to feel embarassed about whether someone is judging you.

There's a guy that lives opp my Dad who must easily be in his fifties who lives with his mum still. A long time ago he moved out and bought his own place but moved back in with her

I know a guy at work who's early thirties and lives at home still. Everybody has their own reasons

I understand why they might want to (save money etc) but I think it's getting a bit old if they're working and not studying. I moved out after my post grad at 23, which i felt was old but couldn't afford to move whilst studying. I met my now DH when he was 25 and living with his parents - I must admit, it did make me think twice!

1 in 4 25 year olds live with their parents ( and 1 in 3 male)

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/datasets/youngadultslivingwiththeirparents

It seems to be absolutely abnormal from everyone I've heard of. The majority, although not all live in London.
Property deposits are very expensive and if it means peoples children are able to pay a reduced rent for a bit and save more towards the deposit I think many parents are happy for this living arrangement.
Many people I know have had their children away for 3 or 4 years at university so wont have had them there solidly during that time.
It also depends very much of the dynamic in the family, lifestyles of every individual, space in the home, long term goals and expectations and how much they actually like being together.

Oh sorry that's old figures. 2019 is at the bottom:

1 in 3 25 year olds living with parents overall: 43% of men, 23% of women.

The other I've seen, don't know how common it is, is when the parents get used to the income from rent from their working adult children and become reluctant to see them leave. Sometimes to the point of trying to sabotage their attempts at moving out. Dependence can go both ways here.

I would have personally been embarrassed to live with my parents at 25.

My kids can live here as adults as long as they are studying/working/paying rent/contributing in some way. However due to the size of my house, Bad experiences with flat mates, and my anxiety due to past trauma, absolutely no partners will be allowed to move in under any circumstances. If they want to live with a boyfriend/girlfriend, they can move out and get their own place. I don’t do share houses and haven’t since I was 20 years old.

Fortunately not Uk but I'd be desperately pissed off of our 4 we're here at 25. Property here is cheaper, but bill paying, household management, living with others was a big part of learning to be an adult.

If it works, that is fine. 25 is on the cusp, 27 looks odd and 30 really quite odd.

However, I think the ideal is to move out when education ends. Adulthood begins when you take responsibility for yourself, and future partners will often judge someone living at home. Look at all the threads about ‘mummy’s boys’ not being suitable relationship material on here.

On the other hand, people are different, circumstances are different and if the 25 year old is pulling their weight in the home and making a fair contribution, and if everyone is happy, it can work.

I have 4 children. The eldest is 27 and still lives with me. The others are early 20s - 2 boys share a flat and my 21 year old daughter lives with me. Each to their own. This works for all of us, and I don't baby the ones at home. We're equals in the house. It's not weird to live at home still, it's different situations and choices.

spaghettios absolutely agree with that statement, I would never condone 'partners' moving in, I have heard of so many bad experiences when this has happened, if my DS wanted the benefit of living with his GF then they need the responsibility and motivation to find a place of their own... not just shacking up with Mum and Dad.

@spaghettios that was my parents hard limit and I think it's a sensible one