To ask if you think 25 is too old to live at home

[User37372]

Pays rent and helps with households chores. Is this socially acceptable or is it the age where people start to
Judge someone for living at home?

I have both my 2O something sons still at home Plus the long term partner of the younger one.

They all earn and contribute and the house is big enough for everyone to have their own space. They are welcome for as long as the want but I know the son with the partner will probably want to buy when he is more established in his career.

A also remember when I was mid 20’s if a guy had his own place it was seen as a positive. If he lived at home still he had points deducted, same as if he didn’t have a car 😳😂

My DD (31) has been living at home with me for a few years since her then circumstances changed. I like having her here. She's good company and an extra driver and pair of hands round the house.

She's moving out soon into a house she's buying with her nice partner and I shall miss her a bit but mainly I'm glad she's arrived at the next stage in life.

I don't honestly care if it's 'socially acceptable' or not, it's just how it is.

Gosh you can tell all the rich people on Mumsmet dominate can't you.

"I'd be embarrassed to live at home at 25".

Not everyone has the £50k a year graduate jobs that many do on here that facilitate being sufficiently well off only 4 years after leaving university to buy a property.

Unless you aren't welcome at your parents' house it makes no sense to throw away money on rent.

I went to university, came back after graduation, struggled to find a job for 18 months, finally found a job but doesn't pay nearly enough for me to move out so I still live at home. It works well as I have my own space but would like my independence back so planning on finding a new job which pays more and then I'll move out. It's completely normal.

My eldest is 23 and, other than right now because of Covid, neither him nor any of his friends live at home. I genuinely can’t think of any 20+ year old we know living with their parents still.

I would have done absolutely anything to avoid moving back in with my parents at 25.

People living with their parents in order to be able to save for a deposit on a house 'because they don't fancy a houseshare and private renting is expensive' really confuse me –if you can't afford something, you can't afford it. And if it takes longer than you'd like, it takes longer than you'd like. And if your area is expensive, look at a cheaper area.

Your parents shouldn't have to continue to limit their lifestyles in order to accommodate you; if you've made it to your 20s, they did plenty for you already.

I think it also depends a lot on culture. I’d be shocked personally if any of my friends decided to go and live at home again having all lived in house shares or our own houses since leaving university.
However, my DP has a large circle of Turkish/Eastern European friends who are all late 20s/early 30s and all still live at home as that’s what’s expected until you get married. In every other way they’re all extremely British culturally and you’d never know their families are all still quite traditional about certain things.
We actually have one couple who are together and both still live at home at 30 and won’t be allowed to even sleepover at each other’s houses until they marry even though they’ve been together for 8 years!

I also think proximity to London or other big cities has a lot to do with it. I’d definitely have stayed at home for slightly longer if I’d have been able to easily commute to work

I lived at home until I was 27. When I did I left with a hefty deposit for a house so was defo a good thing.

In this era, I wouldn't judge anybody.

And ouch321 I would have chewed off my own arm to maintain the independence I worked 3 jobs at a time throughout university to achieve.

My rent was never 'thrown away'; it was me paying to hold my own head high as a self-sufficient adult with her own space.

No 50k grad scheme here, so you can readjust that perspective you've got going.

Bit weird imho. I'm 34, I love my parents but was so keen to get my own space after uni & didnt move back in with them. I think too many young adults live in a cocooned prolonged adolescence relying on parents in every way, financial, emotional, social. To me there's a real lack of resilience, I worry that this is what our society & education system is producing.

Really depends on circumstances, we have a 24 yr old step son living here because he simply couldn't afford somewhere on his own and he'd get evicted from a private rental as the mess he chooses to live in wouldn't be put up with. He's on universal credit due to long term mental health issues, and the area we live in provides no support at all

Perfectly fine. Who cares of it is ‘normal’ or not?
Living at home in my twenties allowed me to save for a house deposit and travel a little too. I wouldn’t have been able to do either of these had I rented. I’ve never been aware that anyone has judged me for it, and I wouldn’t care either - it suited me just fine.
I also agree with other posters that the house I grew up in will always be ‘home’! My own house is also home but just not quite in the same way.

It's honestly none of anyone's business where you live or who you live with. If you've got it good at your mums take advantage and save some money. Whatever you're saving for.
I was kicked out at 17 and really struggled to catch up with my peers because my living expenses were so much more than theirs. I did manage to buy a house. When I was 40!!

Take advantage of your good situation.

To all the people who say it’s weird etc, did you grow up in London post the millennium? My friends were able to save an extra 1k a month + from not renting, if I had the room and my child was respectful I would encourage they do the same thing. I would also encourage them to pay me a small amount of keep, which if I was able to I would additionally save on their behalf.

@iamabackseatdriverfromamerica

"People living with their parents in order to be able to save for a deposit on a house 'because they don't fancy a houseshare and private renting is expensive' really confuse me –if you can't afford something, you can't afford it. And if it takes longer than you'd like, it takes longer than you'd like. And if your area is expensive, look at a cheaper area."

...How is it confusing? In my case I didn't want to live in another house share and I could just about afford to rent somewhere on my own, but it would mean I'd never be able to save a deposit. My family were happy for me to move back, and living there for a couple of years enabled me to save a deposit so I could buy my own place, in a cheaper area, which I could afford. For a lot of people the options are:
A) Live at home for a couple of years, save a deposit and buy your own place.
B) Move out straight away and potentially rent forever.

Surely it's that not confusing why people chose option A? It makes way more sense in the long term.

My friend is 30 and she and her young son live with her parents. It's cheaper than her struggling to pay bills on her own (her son's father isn't in the picture) and her parents are happy with the situation.

Iamabackseat

That's how i felt. Huge sense of pride and satisfaction in supporting myself, making my own choices.

I think it's probably common but certainly not ideal for everyone.

I don’t find it strange. I lived at home with my mum till I was 29 (36 now) because me and my DP didn’t want to rent and wanted to buy our first home. (He lived at his mums house.) And it took us quite a while to save up all the money we would need to do that. I did pay my mum rent (10% of monthly wage which was around £100) and help out around the house. Neither me or my DP went to uni so we both basically lived at home from birth till late 20s.

never really was the case for my friends, they hosted at their parents without issue

I don’t think it’s the same really, hosting with your mum and dad there. Or asking them to sit in another room or leave so you can host. It’s really not the same as hosting in your own home, or having your mates or a partner stay over, a few drinks, breakfast together or a weekend together. It’s very different doing that in your parents home than it is in your own home.

On reflection actually none of my friends kids live at home at 25. They are all early twenties currently and live independently. I don’t think I actually know anyone who still lives at home at 25 inc my work colleagues in this age range or those with kids in this age range.

I think it’s normal for most people by twenty five to be employed and earn enough to at least rent, as they wish to live independently, I really don’t think it’s the norm for folks to to be still living at home At 25 or over now.

It doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, sure it does, but I don’t think it’s the majority of people by any means.

I moved out at 17 and I wish I'd stayed at home longer. I'm only just buying my first property now and I'm nearly 30 because I earn a low wage and rent costs are so high.

As long as everyone is happy with the arrangement then I don't see it's an issue.

I think it’s more about the house set up than who they live with tbh.

I have one friend who has a 22-year-old at home who is more spoiled and babied than my kids are. That’s a problem as he gets older.

Whereas another friend has her 28-year-old living in the same house. They split bills, split chores and it’s more “x and y live in the same house” than y lives with her mum.