Pregnant DIL or Handyman?

[tally79]

Tell me who is AIBU: me or my PIL

Before I begin, I want to fully acknowledge how lucky we are to even be having these problems.

My PIL have a country house that is large and on several acres. We have been living there since early March. They are for the first time relocating to come here next week. The house is large and has an annex so the plan is they will self quarantine for 2 weeks before moving into main house for the summer.

I am also heavily pregnant.

Today I receive a call from my FIL asking me if I can drive back to London and sleep in our house there for the night as a handyman that they have had for 20+ years is coming back today to do errands on the grounds and fix several things indoors. Apparently he said to my FIL that he does not want to drive 1+ hours back to his house tonight as he can't finish everything on the list in one day.

So FIL decided that it was ok to have his pregnant daughter in law drive that same 1.5 hours back into London because he did not want to inconvenience this handyman.

I asked DH to speak to his father but he doesn't see anything wrong with some random worker coming into the house, sleeping and touching everything inside as DH's entire family feels more concerned about keeping the handyman safe and not inconvenienced then their own son's family.

Aside from the judgement of all this house moving, how is this reasonable to put a handyman's safety and preference over me/us?

Handyman is in his 60s and has worked for family for 20 years.

ProseccoBubbleFantasies I’d be happy to sleep in the summer house, I’m not proud! Especially if it meant getting all these annoying jobs done that I can’t do myself.

Your attitude to the little peasant stinks so I'm not surprised.

The disdain and revulsion you clearly feel about servants just seeps out of you and will come across in your body language, voice, facial expressions - everything - and I really feel for the poor guy who probably has an elderly wife at home who may well be struggling.

Shame on you, Princess.

Agreed. I suspect this is why the handyman doesn't want to be in the house at the same time as the OP.

I'm slightly amazed that people are giving the OP flowers after the way she talks about the handyman!

Ah I remember the poster from another thread she posted on. It seems she'll force her privilege down anyone's throat given half a chance!

Ah I see, you should come first because you’re pregnant.

You sound like a spoilt little child.

I don't hear someone spoiled. A hear a hurt and upset heavily pregnant woman whose FIL cares more about the wellbeing of someone he is paying to do a job than his own vulnerable family member.

YABU and ridiculous unless you're 40 weeks and need to be near your hospital, or have some other health reason why you can't sit in a car and be driven for 90 minutes.

Of course you should be out of the house if the handyman is in there working, it's safer all round.

Stop being such a drama llama.

Don't think OP is coming back!

YABU and ridiculous unless you're 40 weeks and need to be near your hospital, or have some other health reason why you can't sit in a car and be driven for 90 minutes.

Except unlike normal times there are no public toilets open, and when pregnant I would have struggled to last that long without a bathroom break.
And ideally the OP should be staying in the same place - for the good of everyone.

Clearly OP has never been short of a bob or two. Not that she’s boasting.

“I received substantial financial help before I got married. Uni and all spending money paid for by them. Post graduation, they paid for my rent, car, parking (expensive in London!), BUPA and all "necessary" outgoings (their words not mine).

My salary started at 55,000 out of uni and was somewhere around 150,000 when I got married at 28. It was meant to cover clothing, travel, going out and general personal spending.

They paid for a generous wedding but their view was, once you are married, you are your own family.

I have continued to work and my salary covers mostly my clothing, travel and fun outgoings for us while DH's salary covers all our savings, school fees, and every other outgoing.

I completely realise how lucky I am and reading these threads makes me sad at the disparities that still exist.

I would say in my social circle in London I was middle of the range in terms of parental support while at uni and in my 20s.”

Jesus why the witch hunt

Jesus why the witch hunt

This site is a disgrace at times.

Hey let’s all attack a pregnant woman because her in laws are rich. Arsehole behaviour.

@HeckyPeck exactly

Hey let’s all attack a pregnant woman because her in laws are rich.

I think it's more to do with the OP's tone about the "hired help".

Nothing to do with wealth and everything to do with a stinking attitude to “staff”.

Are pregnant women so weak that we're not allowed to disagree with them?

And yes, she's being criticised for her entitlement and her attitude to 'staff'. Not for being wealthy.

I'm sure we've all phrased things badly when stressed and upset. Frankly I would feel the same if my family put someone they were hiring to do a job before me, especially at 30 odd weeks pregnant. It's not a disgusting attitude it's just normal to prioritise your family.

I was kind of with you until this safety and wishes of some laborer that mows their lawn and fixes their fixtures

20 years is a long time. They’re probably friends. He is of an older age group that is considerably more at risk than you. I am 37 weeks pregnant myself and think you’re being very dramatic. You sound quite self important and snotty.