Pregnant DIL or Handyman?

[tally79]

Tell me who is AIBU: me or my PIL

Before I begin, I want to fully acknowledge how lucky we are to even be having these problems.

My PIL have a country house that is large and on several acres. We have been living there since early March. They are for the first time relocating to come here next week. The house is large and has an annex so the plan is they will self quarantine for 2 weeks before moving into main house for the summer.

I am also heavily pregnant.

Today I receive a call from my FIL asking me if I can drive back to London and sleep in our house there for the night as a handyman that they have had for 20+ years is coming back today to do errands on the grounds and fix several things indoors. Apparently he said to my FIL that he does not want to drive 1+ hours back to his house tonight as he can't finish everything on the list in one day.

So FIL decided that it was ok to have his pregnant daughter in law drive that same 1.5 hours back into London because he did not want to inconvenience this handyman.

I asked DH to speak to his father but he doesn't see anything wrong with some random worker coming into the house, sleeping and touching everything inside as DH's entire family feels more concerned about keeping the handyman safe and not inconvenienced then their own son's family.

Aside from the judgement of all this house moving, how is this reasonable to put a handyman's safety and preference over me/us?

Handyman is in his 60s and has worked for family for 20 years.

Why didn't you just stay in the annexe for the night?!

some laborer

Listen to yourself, good grief. You're not homeless, you have your own property to go back to. Go home and play Lady Muck on your own property.

Get over yourself. Your attitude towards George is abhorrent. Your expectation that things should revolve around you because you’re pregnant is ridiculous.

This all sounds weird. Just live in your own home and make your own rules and let your PIL do the same.

But when a woman who isn’t wealthy travels to her own family’s home in order to provide essential care, the knives come out.
@SpooniesAreGo who says she's not wealthy? And she's not been there for two months to provide essential care. She's been there to avoid people during lockdown.

tally79
Could you please send George round to my place when he’s finished at PILs? I’ve got loads of jobs need doing and can’t get anybody interested. George could sleep in the summer house!

I love how much power this handyman wields- of course he wants a free sleepover in the country house!

I think you'd need to sleep in the summerhouse @Nannewnannew

This reminds me of a former colleague who described herself as heavily pregnant from 3 months as an excuse not to do anything she didn’t want to ( such as work!)

I think you shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth.

If you don't like it you could always go back and live in your own home permanently...

@liaun George is a Machiavellian mastermind with his eye on the inheritance pile. Consistently doing excellent maintenance work for two decades, worming his way into the PILs affections.

OR. George is actually doing more than just sanding down the woodwork cue 70s porn music and THAT's why the PILs want him in the country pile during lockdown.

This shit just writes itself!

Hopefully George will come on here and do an AMA

PIL. For what it's worth I'd stay home now.

I’d stay home now too. Covid can live on surfaces for a few days can’t it? So unless someone is going to scrub the house clean from top to bottom when george has finished, you can legitimately say you’ll be staying at home for a week now.

You sound ghastly OP, utterly ghastly!

This has to be a wind up. Either that or your PiLs find you utterly ghastly too and just want shot of you and who could blame them..

'some laborer' to describe a person that has worked for your PiLs for 20 years? You are vile.

But when a woman who isn’t wealthy travels to her own family’s home in order to provide essential care, the knives come out.

Err if you actually read her first post you will see that Lady Muck has been there since early March doing no care as her PILS haven’t been there. They aren’t yet there. What possible care has she been providing to these people who aren’t there? She rushed off to her PIL’s country house to avoid the virus. So don’t paint her as the victim.

The owners, her PILs will be relegated to an annexe to quarantine on their return. Not quarantining in their comfortable home. No that home is for Lady Muck who scornfully dismisses George as a ‘random worker’ and is outraged that her PILs might want to ensure that their house is maintained for their return while she is doing them the honour of squatting there.

Honestly you lost me at "some labourer" when you referred to the house handyman who had been with them for 20 years.
You are now trying to punish your pil for not bowing down to your wishes after living in their country house for months .
You sound absolutely charming .

While George's AMA would be good, I think the PIL's coming on here would be even better!

This is hilarious. Surely you have servant quarters for these peasant labourers to sleep in? Or an outhouse?

Haha ^^

Stay in your own home near your local hospital and MW team.

I don't think you have painted yourself in a particularly good light in your OP tbh and it's reflected in the comments. You seem very dismissive of him in a classist way, and also a tad self absorbed to have completely forgotten to mention your husband. That's all undermining your more reasonable point about being afraid to travel into London.

But besides all that... I just really don't get this. Why on Earth wouldn't he be staying in the annex, whether you're there or not? Aren't any of you worried about the cross contamination of all of this room swapping?

some laborer that mows their lawn and fixes their fixtures

This where you lost me.

Honestly. 1.5 hrs is hardly a marathon. If being at their house suits you better then go back. If it doesn't, then stay at home.b