Pregnant DIL or Handyman?

[tally79]

Tell me who is AIBU: me or my PIL

Before I begin, I want to fully acknowledge how lucky we are to even be having these problems.

My PIL have a country house that is large and on several acres. We have been living there since early March. They are for the first time relocating to come here next week. The house is large and has an annex so the plan is they will self quarantine for 2 weeks before moving into main house for the summer.

I am also heavily pregnant.

Today I receive a call from my FIL asking me if I can drive back to London and sleep in our house there for the night as a handyman that they have had for 20+ years is coming back today to do errands on the grounds and fix several things indoors. Apparently he said to my FIL that he does not want to drive 1+ hours back to his house tonight as he can't finish everything on the list in one day.

So FIL decided that it was ok to have his pregnant daughter in law drive that same 1.5 hours back into London because he did not want to inconvenience this handyman.

I asked DH to speak to his father but he doesn't see anything wrong with some random worker coming into the house, sleeping and touching everything inside as DH's entire family feels more concerned about keeping the handyman safe and not inconvenienced then their own son's family.

Aside from the judgement of all this house moving, how is this reasonable to put a handyman's safety and preference over me/us?

Handyman is in his 60s and has worked for family for 20 years.

Yes, it is unreasonable (although I'm not entirely sure why the fact you are pregnant makes any difference) but I don't really see what you can do about it? Other than go home and stay home.

Weird. Will he be sterilising everything before leaving? Or are you expected to do that when you get back? The virus stays on surfaces.

Why are you living in your Fil house if you have your own only an hour away?

Well now I don't want to go back. And without our help they can't stay there on their own.

Why should I go back and cook, clean etc for them if I'm lower on the totem pole than their handy man and they are more concerned with his feelings and wishes then ours?

They are entitled to do whatever they want. Their house, their rules. But this must work both ways. I don't want to be made to go back and help them after this incident either

This is quite the drip feed.

I would leave for your home and stay there.

Where are they living currently?

Why are you staying with your PIL?

I think it’s very odd, the turfing you out. Are you sure there’s nothing else afoot? What is it the handyman is doing? Is it important?

You don’t need to sound quite so disparaging about the handyman being staff though!

@ConstantlySeekingHappiness sorry! I'm just so so upset and it's hours later.

I wanted to see if I was being unreasonable because I told DH fine. Their decisions, their choices but now as a result of them I am free to make my own.

We all live in a London and they have a second home outside of London

If they are so incapable Who helps them when they are not at their country house?

Let them take who ever it is with them to the country pile and you stay in your own house.

@crispysausagerolls today he put in a swimming platform and steps in the pond, did some repair work outside. Tomorrow he is fixing the drier, a bathroom drip and repainting two rooms plus just checking over everything

Why did you go there in the first place? Why would you want to bring your baby home to somewhere other than your own home and have PIL there?

Just stay in your own house then

The handyman is checking over everything? So everything will need cleaning thoroughly before anyone else stays there.

@Proudboomer they usually have a nurse come in for the day. In April they got ride of her, SIL was helping them in London and now it's our turn

It will always be a bit like this because you will be living in some one else’s house even if it is an annex. It would need to be some heavy circumstances for me to do this.

Why are you even staying there?

Well let them employ another nurse and stay in your own house.

Ffs some house repairs needed done. It's not like you can get tradesmen to come into a house at the moment. The only way pil could get stiff fixed is that handyman stays and you go to your other house with dh driving. Stop being so dramatic and wise up

Why don't you just stay in your own home? I don't understand. This is either a troll.post or if not they can pay for.care.

Jesus, it all sounds too high maintenance for me.

Simple solution: stay at home

Life is hard eh. First world problems and all that.

We are staying there as we felt this was the most safe and sustainable place for us to be as we can safely walk outside and don't have any neighbors close by

YANBU. I would leave them to it. Take to your bed and say you are not up to the journey back. Hope handyman enjoys his holiday there. He can stay and help. You are the priority here.

Why don't you just stay at home now? I wouldn't bother driving all the way back again.

It’s not your house, it’s not your call.