To be curious about boarding school children being at home all the time and the parents...

[blueglassandfreesias]

I wonder how it is having children around the house all the time when parents of boarders aren't used to it.
I saw something about Harrow/ Eton etc will not be re-opening until September.
For families who aren't used to dealing with their children daily, maybe some are re-thinking sending their children away and enjoying getting to know their kids.

I am not pretending that my kids are neglected, but we don't have hours of "family time" every day of the week.

Nobody said it had to be hours. Just at your evening meal and maybe five minutes here or there - just the regularity, I think, even if never for one along period at once.

@Cyberattack I think it’s more a case of people being more likely to see the benefit if they/people they know we’ll have been. I don’t know anyone who has been to a public school that doesn’t swear blind that it was the best thing to ever happen to them. Likewise all the people I know that went make me think that it’s a good thing but if course it might just be a case of knowing lots of fantastic people who happened to board back in the day. I don’t know anyone who would be snobby if you chose to send your child to a day school. The only judgement I’ve ever encounter are from the ‘boarding school is emotional abuse’ brigade.

@ArgumentativeAardvaark

Believe me sometimes I'd kill to be back in Norf London!!

Interesting thread... I went to a boarding school full time. I’m glad there wasn’t a pandemic while I was at school as I imagine my mother’s mental illness would’ve taken a worse turn and she would’ve been even more emotionally abusive than normal, and that would’ve been constant. School holidays were always so hard. I disliked the boarding school but I stayed at school all weekends and short breaks, whenever I could, even if our house was only 20 minute drive away. Home and the school were both like prisons but at least at the school I had my own space and did whatever I wanted.
I doubt if there was a pandemic back then she would’ve changed her mind about sending me to boarding school. If anything she would’ve felt more glad to send me away as soon as possible, as mothering always seemed like a massive burden to her as she was barely able to hold herself together.

In some ways, the best thing she did for me was to send me and allow me to have some space away from her emotional abuse (which she couldn’t control as she was and still is mentally ill).

But yeah OP’s post was way too simplistic imho

I live in NW London. I don't thin whe I talked about academic privates like Eton and North London Collegiate and then schools for not so academic'/bright children any insult was intended! I am the one with a son with a third class degree who delivers groceries for a living! My twins didn't go to a particularly academic day private school.

The private schools day and boarding have always catered to very clever and not so clever children as do the universities.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll
at the same age, I used to write to my parents and tell them a lot more things than I would have if we had been face-to-face.

I have a great relationship with my kids, and I would have no problem to send them to boarding school - the reasons why they are at home are based on completely different factors.

I don't believe that when you have a healthy relationship with them you lose out on anything because they are boarders. It hasn't been my experience at all.

I don’t think all boarding schools are closed. My colleague’s kids are normally day pupils at a local school, she sent them to board there full time when this started. There are other boarders there too.

Boarding parent here.

I have just had a long, hopefully honest, conversation with my youngest son, he's 19 next month.

We are having a Luther marathon (I cannot quite believe I've not watched this fabulousness before lockdown), however, between episodes we're having life chats.

He openly admits he missed us, I knew this already, he had his elder brother at the same school for a number of years before he left and is unable to say if this was a benefit or not. He formed close bonds with his peers and his teachers, clashed with some too but has already decided that if his children would like to, he would like them to have the chance to board.

Interestingly, he seems to confidently believe that if he had been unhappy, we would have let him leave and attend a day school. I don't remember ever conveying this, but what I gathered from the conversation is that he knew, and knows, he can come to us with any issue.

I'm in no doubt at all boarding does not suit every child. My children, who are adults now, genuinely loved it, warts and all.

I live in NW London. I don't thin whe I talked about academic privates like Eton and North London Collegiate and then schools for not so academic'/bright children any insult was intended! I am the one with a son with a third class degree who delivers groceries for a living! My twins didn't go to a particularly academic day private school. The private schools day and boarding have always catered to very clever and not so clever children as do the universities.

Xenia, you know very well what is meant when described as”not very bright”, you’re not hard of thinking. You have also been pulled up repeatedly on your use of language to describe dc you feel are not as bright as your daughters, including your disdain for the schools for the average’, but continue to ignore. You have many times stated you will not pay for your daughters to sit next to anyone in class with an IQ of less than 120. Good for you!

It has not escaped my notice all this time that though you wax lyrical about your DD’s top performing schools (even years after they have left) you have never once mentioned the schools your DS’s attend. We know one went to Haberdashers and your girls NLC because you won’t stop inserting it into every thread. I also notice that since they got into a top university I.e Bristol, you haven’t stopped talking about that.

Do you describe your boys school as a school for the not so bright when speaking in front of them? Do they know this is how you feel about their academic ability? only becoming proud of them when they got into Bristol? Is your reason for never mentioning their school (when they actually more recently left than your DD’s)infact because you are ashamed that they didn’t go to the equivalent of their sisters schools plus perhaps posters will be gobsmacked to learn that the person who has sneered for years at DC not going to the top 5/10 whatever, has infact sent her own dc to the very same schools similar to the ones she derides?

All 4 of mine boarded. Now aged 19 to 23.
1 from.age 9, 1 age 10 and 2 age 11.
A mix of moving with work and initially a cancer diagnosis and no reliable childcare.
Only my youngest returned to day school in year 10.
I always missed my kids and loved time with them at home, exeats and holidays. I always was sad at the end of school holidays.
Like any other family we get on but also so occassionally have little fallouts. Actually all of them are back home right now. All 4 live away at uni. I'm loving them being here but also exasperated some days!
We were all day chatting the other evening and all said it was like boarding school summer holidays but without any day trips etc. We all love being together but also piss each other off from time to time.
Boarding parents love their kids as much as day school parents love their kids.
I cant be bithered to explain to people already with their mind made up about boarding families. People are just so set 8n their 9wn ways and life style that somethings they can't accept. That's fine, but glad I can appreciate most people are bringing up their kids in the best way for their circumstances. I've been dealing with anti biarding bullshit for almost 15 years. Bored of it now.

I work in a boarding house, many reasons why kids are there. Only one child I would say was there because the parents couldn't be bothered and have money. Rest are forces, living abroad or work odd, long hours. My own kids are desperate to board as it is such fun (though they don't) but there are some kids who are local and choose to board.

My DS is isolating at home with us - and seems happy. All during hs school time we got on like a house on fire & then post grad studies he loved at home & he says he would not have swapped. But others will have different experiences and views of course. If you look at the % of time at home - modern boarding - it is a high % and lots of contact - but I do appreciate some would not countenance boarding under any circumstances - & that is their choice. Maybe we are just lucky but it has worked here.

We live in a rural location and our son is 20 and currently in lockdown with us from uni. He was a boarder from 14-18 years old - he wanted to go because there are no young people around here and the only school is some way away and is not noted for its academic and sporting record. Today, he announced that his greatest fear is that he may not be able to afford to send his kids to his school as boarders because he loved it so much. Boarding now bears no resemblance to 15-20 years ago.