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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be curious about boarding school children being at home all the time and the parents...

288 replies

blueglassandfreesias · 19/05/2020 14:24

I wonder how it is having children around the house all the time when parents of boarders aren't used to it.
I saw something about Harrow/ Eton etc will not be re-opening until September.
For families who aren't used to dealing with their children daily, maybe some are re-thinking sending their children away and enjoying getting to know their kids.

OP posts:
plunkplunkfizz · 19/05/2020 14:36

People use boarding for all sorts of reasons. It’s very rarely if ever because people don’t want to get to know their children.

blueglassandfreesias · 19/05/2020 14:39

Whatever the reasons, I do wonder if it is causing people to reflect on their choice so send their children away from them.

OP posts:
BadlyAgedMemes · 19/05/2020 14:39

A friend of mine's teenager is usually in a boarding school - from what I understand because of his SN - which he loves. He's home now. It's hardly like it's the first time in years he's been around his family. There have been niggles mostly due to his SN and change or routine, but they're all getting along just fine, although they have a big family, and I think there's the usual issues of people cooped up, trying to wfh, trying to home school etc.

ChilliCheese123 · 19/05/2020 14:40

I wonder about all the overseas students. My nephew is at a boarding school where 75% of the students are either Chinese or Eastern European. They have , I presume, gone home to their home countries ? Will they be able to come back ?

Shazzanat · 19/05/2020 14:40

Wow! But judgy on a parenting website that's supposed to encourage/help other parents.

HavingAllOfTheFun · 19/05/2020 14:42

Why would it be any different from the rest of us?

LisaSimpsonsbff · 19/05/2020 14:45

Do you not know that boarding schools have holidays?

CruCru · 19/05/2020 14:46

I think that most boarding schools have super long holidays (much longer than other schools). I'm sure that most boarders actually spend a lot of time with their parents.

Friends with teenagers seem to spend nearly all their time with their children schlepping them to various sporting events and social things (and fighting with them to get them to switch their phones off and do their chemistry homework). One friend (whose children are now grown up) said that part of the reason she chose boarding schools for her children was that she worked full time and just couldn't cope with all the activities and travelling.

zscaler · 19/05/2020 14:47

You’re absolutely right - all those cold hearted bastards who hate their children and send them away to boarding school so they don’t have to spend any time with them must be absolutely miserable now. I’m sure they will, as you anticipate, have an epiphany about how cruel and heartless they have been when they realise little Rupert and Amelia are actually quite nice to have around after all.

Hmm
CovidicusRex · 19/05/2020 14:47

You do realise that the summer holidays in the private sector are two months long right?

IncrediblySadToo · 19/05/2020 14:51

We really don't need this sneering on top of everything else do we?

Why would you post such crap?

(I do not have kids boarding)

AJPTaylor · 19/05/2020 14:52

I don't have kids at boarding school/ would not have sent them but your entire post is utterly stupid.
Hth

Blondieg · 19/05/2020 14:53

This reply has been deleted

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Pootlehoople · 19/05/2020 14:53

For families who aren't used to dealing with their children daily, maybe some are re-thinking sending their children away and enjoying getting to know their kids

One of my DC boards, at a specialist school. I have never encountered this attitude in real life, thankfully.

Veterinari · 19/05/2020 14:53

You need to be more specific @blueglassandfreesias

Do you mean the parents who use regular boarding schools and so have their children for super-long school holidays ((and often weekends)?
Or the ones that work overseas/in the armed forces?
Or the ones that send their kids to residential schools for additional support due to SEN?
Or the ones that are supporting their talented children in music/arts/drama?

Which parents specifically were you focussed on judging on this thread?

Destroyedpeople · 19/05/2020 14:53

I believe my brother pays about 12 000 a term for his daughter 's boarding school...wonder how much of a refund he will be offered..
He sends her her there because he wishes he could have got away from his family when he was a teenager. ..

combatbarbie · 19/05/2020 14:55

I am loving having my daughter home 👍

Pootlehoople · 19/05/2020 14:55

You do realise that the summer holidays in the private sector are two months long right?

Quite. Not all boarding schools are private either.

combatbarbie · 19/05/2020 14:56

I love having my daughter home 👍 she on the other hand cannot wait to get back.... I am trying not to take it as a personal attack on my personality or the fact I'm her mum..... But she just misses her friends and the structure.

Pootlehoople · 19/05/2020 14:58

I don't pay a penny for education or boarding so I don't know if that makes me better or worse than those pesky Eton and Harrow parents. Is there a sliding scale?

G3entlemanjack · 19/05/2020 14:58

My dd is 18 and has been weekly boarding since she was 13. Before that she flexi-boarded from age 6. Suffice to say she loves boarding! I have a far better relationship with her than I would otherwise, I suspect, because when she's home she really values her time at home and with her family so we don't clash so much.

And yes, the holidays!

  • 2 weeks half term in October
  • 3 weeks at Christmas
  • 1 week Feb half term
  • 4 weeks at Easter
  • 1 week summer half term
  • 9 weeks summer holiday

I am thoroughly enjoying having her around all the time. She on the other hand is bored and missing her friends.

WithIcePlease · 19/05/2020 15:00

I'm not 100% sure they will go back to board in September and if they do, I'm concerned it will be a very different experience from before. Fewer social actuvities etc

TwitterTwatterofTinyMinds · 19/05/2020 15:02

Damn right. Send them away at 7 and collect them at 18 - that's the boarding way!

Or, wait, no it isn't is it.

YABU, and goady.

blueglassandfreesias · 19/05/2020 15:02

Wow defensive responses galore.
I'm interested that's all.
STAND DOWN!

OP posts:
mindutopia · 19/05/2020 15:02

I don't know but after 2 months home with my 7 year old, who otherwise goes to a very ordinary state school, I'm beginning to see the charms of boarding. Hmm

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