To be curious about boarding school children being at home all the time and the parents...

[blueglassandfreesias]

I wonder how it is having children around the house all the time when parents of boarders aren't used to it.
I saw something about Harrow/ Eton etc will not be re-opening until September.
For families who aren't used to dealing with their children daily, maybe some are re-thinking sending their children away and enjoying getting to know their kids.

There's a few of us specialist school mums on here now, are we all music and dance awards, or other subjects? My dd is specialist music.

Mine is at upper school now on a DaDa for musical theatre.

There's the world of difference between sending a child away and sending them to a boarding school saying, "Hope you like it love, if you don't we'll take you out, no problem".

Boarding schools are a different kettle of fish to how they were when I was young. The children seem to enjoy themselves, make all sorts of interesting friends who invite them home and vice versa, have plenty of weekend breaks at home and are decently fed.

mascotte I hear you loud and clear and agree with every word.

The answer is that the vast majority of boarding children will spend 8/9 weeks at home every summer so their parents are probably not finding having them at home for 8 weeks that much of a shock

And most boarding schools worth their salt are providing a top quality online education at the moment. I see my kids for lunch then not again until 5pm.

oneandtwenty I'm not following your train of thought at all. I'm just drawing on my experience of people I know and contributing to a conversation. You don't have to like or agree with what I'm saying. However, your attempt to create some paranoid narrative around who or what I am is bizarre.

Hi, Comefromaway

I'm glad you're here, I thought you'd named changed for a minute as hadn't seen you.
I can't believe they are upper school now, I remember all our old threads when they were just starting out.
Mine is missing school and friends, but has only had one wobble when GCSE's were cancelled.
Hope you are all well. x

Pretty sure this will actually make more parents keen to send their kids to boarding school 😝 😂 I know I'm keen for nurseries to open! Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all.

@Cyberattack

Intrigued about all these people opening up to you and revealing such profoundly personal information - that they are sending their children to boarding school because of pressure to keep up with people and snobbery. Not just one person but from your “experience” it suggests multiples.

OP, this was such an unnecessary goady post. My goodness. Imagine I had started a poll about mums that work and how they must be thankful for their pandemic to get to know their children. Or even much worse and more random how mums with kids in state schools must feel about not being able to afford private schools.

Do what works for YOUR family and stop judging other's choices.

I don't understand why so many people on MN are convinced that people are jealous of them. And "jealous" isn't even the right word - jealousy is fear that something of yours will be taken from you. If you covet something someone else has, it's envy.

@Lynda07 Funnily, that's what I have said to my DC. They haven't taken me up on it. Youngest DC is about to start boarding in Sept, and I have just said exactly the same to her!

Is this the source of "information" about Eton?
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/eton-and-kings-cut-fees-as-sop-to-parents-5bzhzr288
If so, it's seven weeks old so may not be entirely relevant now. It also does no justice at all to the stupendous amount of work that the teachers are doing at the school for their own pupils - but also for keyworkers and their children, and older pupils at state schools too (Eton X).

It's quite an interesting subject (though,I can see, an emotive one)

• anecdotally, people of my acquaintance, including an ex, attending a very famous boarding school hated it and reported bullying/abuse.This was not recent though and you'd hope things are better now.

• my experience at Oxbridge was that some young gentlemen educated at boarding school were utter pillocks (but certainly some people who came through the system were charming and did well).

• there can be a huge pressure on families financially and in terms of emotional blackmail ("I didn't pay all that money for your education for you to..."

• there is an inequality in the education system and the young people who have been to the well-known boarding schools still have an advantage in getting to the old Universities. (this would greatly appeal to many paying parents,I can see that)

• in many ways, this can also be seen as unfair by people outside that system.

Would I send my DC to boarding school? Maybe, if it was really what they wanted and the best way for them to fulfil themselves and their potential (ballet school or theatre arts, for example). Louis Theroux sent his kids to a state school because he wanted their school to look like the rest of Britain, apparently, and there is a real value in that. Does that outweigh all the fantastic facilities? We do a lot of the extras ourselves and it has worked for us. So far.

OP - Full boarding schools break up at the end of June anyway, so it would't make much sense for them to go back. The online lessons they're doing seem good. It's just like being at school, but via video connection. Still have group sing-a-longs (hilarious to listen to!!), birthday drinks (y13s), sport competitions, bake-offs, etc etc.

tbh - It's been harder getting used to having dh at home every evening! I'm used to watching crap on the telly or reading a book!

I hadn't realised parents of boarders felt so defensive.

are they? The only ones who seem very angry are posters attacking them, I haven't seen much angst or upset in the answers. A bit of sarcasm possibly.

I know my son very well. We chose his school after a lot of research, visits, etc. He loves his experience and misses it. It will resume full time in late August (his final year) and he can't wait. He's made truly wonderful friends and we have become friends with many of the families. He thrives on the routine and the other boarders and the experiences the school is able to offer. He has a partial scholarship. Once his needs were dealt with, his education grew by leaps and bounds. We live in an area with no private day schools and certainly not ones able to deal with his needs. He was bullied and shunted aside here. He has really blossomed at his school.

And again, we also live in an area where some board during the week due to having no high school in their area.

I also boarded due to this. My sister didn't as much so she was homeschooled for the last 2 years. It was not a negative experience for me, though.

@OneandTwenty no, there's loads of people calling the Op goady, and madly justifying their choice.

Could someone please tell me if I have missed a communication from school re not returning until September? I have Googled this to no avail. Nothing has come from school to this effect - I understood that they were watching and waiting.

I haven't heard anything. I'm sure they'll be back as soon as they're permitted.

I hadn't realised parents of boarders felt so defensive.

I don't feel defensive.

I can't help but think of my cousin telling me as an adult how sad he was he was sent to boarding school but never told his parents. They still think he loved it. Maybe this is a chance for some of those children to let their parents know. I imagine many more (both parents and children will be gagging for them to go back)

YABU and seem to have conveniently forgotten about long school holidays, often weekends, all the years before the child boarded

Not judging other parents' choices, but I would never want that - it sounds more like a timeshare than a relationship to me. How many people, if they had a free choice, would prefer to have a partner whom they didn't see in the week, or potentially for weeks or months, but who didn't then have a job and was around permanently 24/7 for the equivalent of boarding school holidays - as opposed to a partner you'd spend the night with, see in the morning, not see in the day whilst they were at work, but then be with again in the evening and overnight?

@Devlesko both of mine are at dance schools on mds - different schools to each other 🤦🏼‍♀️

Unless its a special needs boarding school or the DC has no siblings and is desperately lonely at home how is it NOT selfish?Why have kids to send them away- unless they need dedicated, specialist care and teaching?

My children, like others on here, are at specialist schools that they choose to go to. They need the specialist teaching but not in the way you mean. Letting them follow their dreams is one of the most unselfish things we’ve done, I desperately miss them during term time, but they love the life and opportunities they have.

op, I very much doubt any parents on here are going to say-yes it's really shit having my children around.

Boarding schools tend to be some of the best schools in the country. Lots of kids just board during the week and love it. There are lots of options. I'm sure lots of parents really miss their kids when they go and secretly like them being around.

(And no I can't imagine choosing it for my kids, but that is the fact of the matter).