To be curious about boarding school children being at home all the time and the parents...

[blueglassandfreesias]

I wonder how it is having children around the house all the time when parents of boarders aren't used to it.
I saw something about Harrow/ Eton etc will not be re-opening until September.
For families who aren't used to dealing with their children daily, maybe some are re-thinking sending their children away and enjoying getting to know their kids.

I do wonder if it is causing people to reflect on their choice so send their children away from them.

What a nasty and judgemental comment.

And no, I'm not "defensive" as my children are/were not at boarding school.

Whatever the reasons, I do wonder if it is causing people to reflect on their choice so send their children away from them.

I would say yes, and highlighting what a fantastic decision they've made. By the way OP, the use of phrases such as 'sending your children away' makes you appear incredibly ignorant, bitter and jealous.

I’ve said yabu because of your last sentence. I presume people know their kids. They spend weekends and holidays together.

Many people have their children boarding because they aren't at home themselves e.g. both parents have jobs that require them to spend significant time abroad. I doubt that they'll suddenly change their careers, but have had to put them on hold for the moment/work from home where possible.

Also, may pupils that board enjoy it! My DH was a weekly boarder during sixth form, even though his mum only lived 2 streets away from the school. He wanted to board because he wanted to have the time with his friends.

He sends her her there because he wishes he could have got away from his family when he was a teenager

Are you being sarcastic? (Sorry, it can be hard to tell online sometimes! ) If not, surely it would make more sense for him to try to give her the sort of family life he wishes he'd had?

I don't think anybody is being defensive at all. People are merely responding to the goady nature of your OP. If you were genuinely interested you would have worded it differently.

I can't put into words how wonderful boarding has been for my DC.

You’ve clearly made your mind up and have no intention of listening to anyone who disagrees.

YABU and seem to have conveniently forgotten about long school holidays, often weekends, all the years before the child boarded

Not defensive, I have no connection to any boarding school.

It's attitude's like the OP which is one of the many reasons I am in turmoil whether to consider sending my gorgeous 15 year old DS to a SEN live in school.

Guilt is simply not the word for it and the thought of being thought less of a Mother for even THINKING of doing so is killing me.

Maybe think before you post next time OP

@mindutopia I hate to break it to you but you’ll probably end up spending more time with him if you send him to a boarding school. Ours get 5 months of holidays and half terms a year roughly.

I went to boarding school as a teenager. My parents made great sacrifices to pay for it. I was bullied in my hometown but my siblings were happy in the local schools. I thrived in the boarding school--totally life changing. I will always be grateful. And grateful I didn't have to cough up a fortune to spend a similar amount on my own kids!

I'm not being defensive, I have no intention of sending my child to boarding school and didn't go to one. I just think you made yourself look a bit thick when you acted like sending a child to boarding school is sending them away to never see them again.

My DD doesn't board so not defensive, but your OP is really awful. Many people send their DC to board for many reasons and to reach that decision may be difficult for parents.

Your OP reads as if you think DC that go to boarding school are unloved by their parents - if you're interested in why people send their kids to boarding school why not ask that question???

You’re not ‘just interested’. Your post was dripping in judgment.

I don’t have kids, and have never been a boarding school pupil, so nothing for me to be defensive about except that I can’t abide sneering (and have even less time for wide eyed disingenuousness from the sneerers when they’re called out on it...)

By the way OP, the use of phrases such as 'sending your children away' makes you appear incredibly ignorant, bitter and jealous.

Why would someone be bitter and jealous of people who send their children to boarding school? I genuinely don't understand this comment. Do you think everyone secretly wishes their children lived somewhere else?

It's attitude's like the OP which is one of the many reasons I am in turmoil whether to consider sending my gorgeous 15 year old DS to a SEN live in school

Please don't let GFs affect you making the right choice for your DS

The people I know who use boarding schools do so because they are sent abroad for work. They choose not to uproot their children from their usual environment, sending them to a totally new school (e.g. just before their exams), possibly one where they don't speak the language.
Lockdown will not make them rethink that choice.

It's attitude's like the OP which is one of the many reasons I am in turmoil whether to consider sending my gorgeous 15 year old DS to a SEN live in school

Well, it is a major decision and if a post from an internet stranger is causing you to wobble, perhaps it isn't the right one. You must have misgivings to begin with and I think it is important you give yourself permission to listen to them so you do what feels right for you and your child.

Just an aside but I have a boarder living with my family at the moment, he couldn't go home and I'm registered with an agency to have boarders over holidays so he is living with me, I believe there are lots of children that are boarding with families atm.

God I bet they’re struggling each day....just the very concept of having to think about another human being, provide meals, kindness and entertainment...this must be utterly alien to those monstrous boarding school parents. Ffs 🙄

I'm interested that's all

Looks like you got your answer already.

@blueglassandfreesias

You may want to rethink your social skills if you think
maybe some are re-thinking sending their children away and enjoying getting to know their kids.

Shows genuine interest or imminent decency

Thank you for all the replies. We are not at the stage where a decision has to be made....yet, but I am terrified that day will come very soon.

He is getting a big lad and much harder to handle.

I am in no way ready to let him go yet, it's just disappointing to read posts like this which infer that our children are a nuisance and we are "sending them away"

OP just hit a nerve that's all. You would think after 15 years of this I would have developed a thicker skin by now but hey ho! :)

Obviously your thread is goady OP but that's OK, MN wouldn't exist without them.

I barely know my son and I can't wait to get him back, I never really liked him and that's why I sent him away.

But honestly - we sent him away because we knew that he would love it and come away with a superior education. He spends his weekday evenings going to societies and playing rugby and violin and doing volunteer work and he has access to A-level students when he's doing his prep and so on. Yes all these things can be replicated at a day school, but he loves boarding.

He's a robust child, I wouldn't have done it for my other son.

We love it.
The DC on the other hand... miss their mates, the indoor pool, the tennis courts, the house competitions, the freedom to slope round town with their mates, the house dogs, the weekend abseiling and tombstoning and sailing trips, and the breakfast omelettes. Not to mention their local Chinese restaurant and chippy.
But thanks for throwing us all a pity party.

I wonder how many parents after all this enforced time in close proximity with their kids will consider sending their kids to boarding school after lockdown...🧐