Not to be more ambitious for my DD?

[PoorUnfortunateMoles]

I'm a feminist and I always thought I would have a load of lofty ambitions for my DD about her being a scientist or architect, engineer or an artist.
She is very feminine and loves bright, fun, happy, neon things. She loves dancing. She loves Barbie. I'm shocked at how ok I feel about this. Surely if she's happy then there's worse things than enjoying pop songs and dressing up?

There's a reason Josephine Baker and Coco Chanel are right there alongside Marie Curie and Temple Grandin in books about successful women.

At 6 I wanted to be a nurse. I am extremely squeamish and not great at science so ended up a solicitor. You are being mental. My girls are 11 and 13 and have been through numerous stages many thoroughly rejected.

Isn't Josephine Baker a wonderful role model? If it's the person I'm thinking of (cabaret singer in Paris? saved children in World War II?), I would be enormously proud to have a daughter like that.

I've got a couple of really "Uber feminist" friends who thought I would be disappointed in my dd2. She starts college in August to work towards her dream of being a beautician by doing an HND in Beauty Therapies. She's only 16 and I'm so proud, it's doing what she wants with her life which I thought was the whole point of being a feminist.

A cautionary tale; I was very bright in school, adored books and history and art found maths and science easy, got straight As across the board.

Got talked into a STEM degree because, back then in the 80s, no one in my working class family could conceive of any use for an English or history degree unless you wanted to be a teacher.

I loathed every minute of my degree, made worse by envy of my housemates, studying other subjects, complaining about having to read books and novels that I was reading for fun. And I have never even used a word of it; after graduation I went straight into an office job.

I've had a great life and career. Virtually my only regret is doing a STEM degree because it was supposedly what clever feminist girls do. Encourage your daughters to work at something they love.

I'm, have you watched the Barbie films?? Barbie does EVERYTHING! I'd be pretty pleased if my daughters turned out like her to be fair.

She's beautiful, loyal, kind, hard working looks after her family. She owns her own house, car and horses.

See!!

President, computer science and a judge!

I think your attitude is great, so many parents have unrealistic expectations experience for their children which we all know in reality often don’t become a reality.

Who else had Astronaut Barbie in the metallic pink space suit?

Coco Chanel was a Nazi spy, while Josephine Baker worked for the French resistance. I'd say your daughter is hedging her bets.

She also founded the House of Chanel and was a very successful business woman.

I have gone off her abit as we watched the Coco Chanel film with young teen dds thinking it would be inspiring etc but it wasn’t was quite pervy - she did a lot of shagging to get ahead - one to avoid!

OP you are being anti- feminist it trying to steer your child into being something that you want.

Feminism is about women taking control of their own lives, not being directed by someone.

@steff13

Some might think that counterbalances aiding and abetting one of the most evil regimes in history.

Others might think it doesn't...

I have also reported this thread for promoting child abuse.

Saying that you will not let your child be who they are, and must conform to your thoughts, is child abuse

Are you prone to anxiety OP? It's sounds like you're living in the future, to an irrational almost hysterical degree.

I worked at a strip club for a while (not as a dancer if that matters). I was always annoyed by the number of proclaimed feminist who were down right nasty to me due to it. I was making good money, wasn't being exploited, and enjoyed my job. But I didn't fit their definition of the appropriate feminist.

One of my most feminine friends has a Ph.D and works in the oil industry.

I think it is f*cking disgusting to say there is something wrong in being feminine.

What is male energy the only good energy?

Western women have become way to masculine so that men accept them.

The most powerful woman that I ever saw was the most feminine woman that I ever saw.

I saw a Chinese woman in Thailand. She was so ladylike, so feminine, comfortable in her femininity.

Everyone'e eyes were on her, including mine, true feminine energy is so beautiful and powerful.

Telling women that they are not allowed ro be feminine and that they must be more masculine to succeed is what has resulted in a lot of angry, frustrated women in the western world.

The only truly feminine women I see now, are in Eastern Europe and Asia. And wow, they are so incredible.

Feminine energy is important

Even with me. I feel that I have become tough and aggressive, because that is how I had to be to fit in with other women around me. There was no femininity.

I want to remember my femininity, to not be like the women that were around me growing up. I want to be polite, kind, lady like, sweet. It is something I will have to practice.

We all become like the people we grow up around to fit in, do we have the bravery to be ourselves?

She is bubbly, pretty, loud, sociable but finds it difficult to concentrate on things. We will probably have very different experiences of the world

She's a typical 5 year old. I'm not sure what you expect from a 5 year old but I can tell you now that they're not bookish and academic until much later!

Seriously OP, she's 5. You don't even know if she's like you yet. At 5 my dd loved pink and princesses. By 6 she loathed pink, loved Lego but was appalled by Lego Friends. She's had umpteen different career aspirations and is now a clever, cynical 14yo emo with an undercut and a 'down with the patriarchy and the system, who wants to be a wage slave' attitude.

You have no idea what your 5yo daughter will turn out like yet! You will look back on this and wonder why on earth you thought you had a crystal ball! And yes, criticising femininity is sexist.

Meant to say - my 14yo also already looks back with a bit of shame at how she used to look down on the 'girly girls', because she has realised that looking down on women and girls for being feminine is smug, superior and also precisely what the patriarchy does (while, of course, encouraging them to continue being feminine).

I liked all things girly as a child, bratz and barbies for sure. I had a baby doll that I secretly played with up until the age of 11! I’m now working towards a specialist masters degree in Clinical Haematology and Transfusion Science. When I was younger, I was adamant I wanted to be a Vet, hairdresser, teacher then lawyer. My son is two and loves dinosaurs and trucks, he also has ‘girl’ tea sets, babies and other toys. He plays with them all but leans towards his beloved dinosaurs and trucks... i don’t think that’s any reflection on his future at all. If she grows to be a woman who loves all things girly and had more relaxed views on feminism would that bother you?