Not to be more ambitious for my DD?

[PoorUnfortunateMoles]

I'm a feminist and I always thought I would have a load of lofty ambitions for my DD about her being a scientist or architect, engineer or an artist.
She is very feminine and loves bright, fun, happy, neon things. She loves dancing. She loves Barbie. I'm shocked at how ok I feel about this. Surely if she's happy then there's worse things than enjoying pop songs and dressing up?

With all due respect, and I could be wrong because I don't know you, but you sound very judgemental and not very accepting of those who have different values and standards to yourself.

I've report this for being a load of trolling crap

She’s 5! As a 5yo my DD loved pink and dolls. She’s 14 now and loves trashy romance novels and still loves pink. She’s also top set triple science, maths and IT. Don’t pigeon hole your children. They don’t have to be or like one thing or the other.

To be fair Barbie is multi skilled, pilot, vet, doctor, teacher.....sky is the limit.

The unicorn is Scotland's national animal. It's deserves more respect than it gets in threads like these!

It's the opportunities that count.

My grandaughter wants to be the first rugby-playing ballerina in space!

@mangoinafrillydress. I did well at school and university, have a job in a science-based profession, and my 3 year old DD loves nothing more than lining up her dolls and feeding them. Our DDs are imitating us being loving and caring mothers. You are absolutely not a loser

Why do you assume that being an architect etc need to be separate to liking neon and Barbie? Your binary mind does your DD a big injustice.

At 5 I was playing with my barbies and I liked bright, neon things. I had the whole range of scented gel pens and I submitted a piece of homework using every single colour of scented gel pens that I had. It took forever and I was bitterly disappointed when my teacher didn’t remark on my use of gel pens (in hindsight the homework probably have her a headache from the scent of the gel pens). I danced (badly), begged for dance, music and drama lessons.

I was also very academic, although I never pushed myself as hard I could but I was comfortably in the top 10% of the year. I connected deeply with Matilda and Hermione growing up. I have a BSc and a MSc. My work involves an element of science, technology and maths, even though my BSc and MSc aren’t in the ‘hard’ sciences. My job also involves a lot of communication and people skills.

I enjoy learning new skills and I enjoy relaxing at the spa, especially if there’s booze involved. You can have multiple interests. Plus, not everyone is going to be a scientist. We need those people jobs (as we’re seeing at the moment) and they require skills that are often under appreciated. Feminism is about not holding girls back, not pigeon holing them but also allowing them to make the decisions that work for them.

DD is 14. She loved dolls and teddies and fifi and the flowertots when she was 5. These days she aspires to be a biochemist. Just let your dd be she's 5 :)

Troll for sure. Look at the username name - sounds like a play on a Disney song and moles? They're blind. Blatantly laughing at the 'moles' they are trolling.

What she likes now at 5 does not define her!

At 5 my dd liked barbie, and pink, and playing house and drawing and twirly skirts and ballet lessons and cats.

At 14 she hates pink, and dresses, has dropped her ballet, is a competitive swimmer, doesn't yet know what she wants to be. She still loves art and is fantastic at it, she still loves cats. She talks about being an artist, or a doctor, or a forensic scientist. She's not much like her five year old self! Playing Barbie didn't make her want to be Barbie! Playing house didn't make her ambitionelss or want to be a 'housewife'- but she can and is interested in cooking and loves to make her room nice- and that's a fantastic skill to have!

Aah op at 5 dd only wore lilac and pink, loved her dolls and wanted to be a lady farmer and have five dc - and never leave mummy. Her head teacher described her as "unremarkable but reliablyplacid and capable"

At 21 she's at a v famous Oxbridge College, sings opera, has alternative views and does a stand up comedy show.

Give the lass time.

I loved pink and Barbie and my parents only ever bought me stereotypical ‘girl’ toys. I grew up to be a doctor who no longer owns anything pink. It was a brief period, clearly not an innate preference but not at all uncommon.

There is an enormous amount of social pressure to be a girly girl. It really doesn’t reflect very much about the child herself at all.

Good grief..she’s five...put down the crackpipe.

This has to be a joke as no actual feminist would equate liking princesses and pink at the age of 5 to later career aspirations.

I would say that being ambitious for your offspring, boys or girls, is more of a traditionally female pursuit. In the past men would be more likely to focus on their own career trajectory and be less inclined to involve themselves in the minutiae of their children's lives, their academic successes and so on. Women did focus on those things because there was often no other outlet for their own thwarted ambitions after marriage.

So adopting a more laid back approach might actually be classified as being more feminist in the sense of showing that you have no intention of living vicariously through your children instead of realising some of your own dreams.

@shookbelves you could be describing my daughter!

My 8 yo DN is the girliest girl I know. She still enjoys coding.

Thanks, OP. This made me laugh so much:

I was always academic, awkward, ugly, had one close friend. She is bubbly, pretty, loud, sociable but finds it difficult to concentrate on things

Of course there are only two types of women - ugly, academic, feminist OR pretty, bubbly, sociable, airhead. And pretty bubbly women completely know that those ugly feminists are just jealous!

Omg, this is crazy, she's five!

She will choose how ambitious she is. Ambition isn't always what you think it is.

I'm ambitious to create the life that will suit me and that will mean working less, walking to work...... Just let her go her own way. She will FEEL the weight of all of your expectations if you don't back off!

What are your ambitions for yourself OP?

5

Is this a new thing or since school?

DD loved blue. The only pink stuff she owned was bought for us as it’s a colour I just don’t like. She generally wore bold colours because they are easier to keep clean than pastels. If you asked her which clothes she wanted to wear she always chose the blue ones. When she moved from the baby room to the pre school room at nursery, she had a wee friend who’s favourite colour was pink and for a while that was hers too. I left her to it and eventually, her favourite became turquoise and there it has stayed (she’s 11 now)

She loves rainbows and unicorns and glitter. She also loves space and science. She will shop in the “boy”section quite happily as she prefers “Born to Lead” t-shirts rather than “born to sparkle” ones. She is the first to pipe up when someone starts stereotyping girls or boys. She wants to be either a neurosurgeon or a scientist so she can develop things to help others with her disability.

Oh, and she has rarely played with a toy in her life, she finds them all either difficult or dull. She hated lego with a passion.

Keep on message and it will make no difference if her favourite colour remains neon pink. Let her know what ever she wants to be, that’s ok. (Yes, even if that is a ballerina)

Barbie is chaotic evil. She promotes popularity, shallow values, and inappropriate body image. It's better for girls to have one or two high quality realistically proportioned dolls than many Barbies.

As for Disney, it would be better to give girls daily doses of formalin. Disney has ruined American culture; don't let it chip away at the hope and glory of British culture.

daisyjgrey

If this is real, OP, chill out a little. She's five.

the hope and glory of British culture.

What's that?