Not to be more ambitious for my DD?

[PoorUnfortunateMoles]

I'm a feminist and I always thought I would have a load of lofty ambitions for my DD about her being a scientist or architect, engineer or an artist.
She is very feminine and loves bright, fun, happy, neon things. She loves dancing. She loves Barbie. I'm shocked at how ok I feel about this. Surely if she's happy then there's worse things than enjoying pop songs and dressing up?

You don’t know what a feminist is. You sound like a knob tbh

. I was always academic, awkward, ugly, had one close friend. She is bubbly, pretty, loud, sociable but finds it difficult to concentrate on things. We will probably have very different experiences of the world. She might become one of those bubbly women who has loads of friends and goes on spa days.

Wow, OP first of all she is FIVE how on Earth do you already know she won't be academic? Only non girly girls are academic? Seriously OP, I don't think you can call yourself a feminist because you attitude certainly doesn't represent that. You are being incredibly judgmental and showing your true colours. I hope for your daughters sake you learn to be more accepting.

I do see your point OP although I don't think it is anything to worry about. Pink and sparkly is obviously a valid choice but it can lead down the girls' toys all only pink and about housework and boys' toys all blue and about construction route.

I think the main things are: expose her to a wide range of choices - not only so-called girls'/boys' toys

Ensure you aren't setting up a dialogue at home where you praise or comment excessively on appearance etc.

My DD is now 6 and will happily hunt bugs in the mud in the morning and then ask for rainbow painted nails in the afternoon. Luckily most of her friends and other parents we know have also tried to keep options open but it means we can enjoy the 'traditional girly' activities as there is a balance.

I wanted to be a horse when I was 5.

I'm doing PhD now.

She'll be fine.

At 5 mine wanted to be a parrot.
At 8 she wanted to be a WAG
She is 22 now and about to start a masters degree.
Shes as fiesty as they come and no mans fool.

You know there is money in selling things to people who like the same thing as you?

So let her play with Barbies and dance around so she develops interests but make sure she has decent Maths and literacy skills.

She’s five pet, seriously at 25 come back and let us know how she tuned out.
Do you just have the one child?

Talk about pigeonholing someone before they‘ve had a chance to develop into anything other than a small child! Were you really already an academic, ugly, awkward child with only one friend at age 5, PoorUnfortunateMoles, whose entire future was already set in stone?

Lol

There is nothing wrong with connecting with your feminine nature and being proud if that

But isn't that the whole point? Femininity is just a series of stereotypes tagged onto being female. If you believe in "feminine nature" surely you're just saying that girls are destined to conform to feminine stereotypes. There's nothing feminist about that.

I think it is difficult to raise girls with this constant balancing act between letting them like what they like, but also being mindful of to what extent their interests are being influenced by external pressures. My DD very quickly became much more into pink/unicorns/glitter as soon as she started nursery.

I think OP raises an interesting point.

Can I also just say, Carol Vorderman?
Shes so bloody smart, and absolutely gorgeous. She proves that you can be feminine and very intelligent.

@MimiSunshine

Source for that?

Look, I understand a bit I think. I was very clever, studious, loved books, learning. I was also very geeky and lonely, so I really cling onto my values. I really really just assumed my DCs would be the same because it was all I knew and my whole value system revolves around academic success and a certain type of professional career.

But my DCs are just nit the same. One got a respectable but not a hazing GCSES, bombed at AS level at got kicked out of sixth for, but then got an apprenticeship and now is excelling in a people based job (I won’t say what as it’s outing). I was gobsmacked that this was even an option outside my narrow values. The other DC is still at school and a bit brighter but wants only to work outside and with animals. So different to how I imagined them, but wonderful. But it just took a while to get my head around.

And she’s only 5, enjoy her and let her be. You’re obviously a good Mum, and so you’re not going to ruin her future by allowing her to be joyful.

This is a wind up

She’s five let her enjoy her would she’s too young for Marie curie and I say that as a medical history mad female. Looks at pink jeans, trying not to eye up the pink flashing drum sticks for bashing when watching Duran Duran concerts, see loads of different interests and yes as my dh says no one can can get past holothane,

OP: your post at 19.20 almost sounds like you are envious of your daughter's nature. You regret she is not interested in Marie Curie (a previous post from you) but you are blowing bubbles at bath times which is much more appropriate for a little girl rather

than trying to make her a scientist, architect, engineer or artist. Let your daughter grow up to be who she will become-

OP: your post at 19.20 almost sounds like you are envious of your daughter's nature. You regret she is not interested in Marie Curie (a previous post from you) but you are blowing bubbles at bath times which is much more appropriate for a little girl rather

than trying to make her a scientist, architect, engineer or artist. Let your daughter grow up to be who she will become-

OP: your post at 19.20 almost sounds like you are envious of your daughter's nature. You regret she is not interested in Marie Curie (a previous post from you) but you are blowing bubbles at bath times which is much more appropriate for a little girl rather
than trying to make her a scientist, architect, engineer or artist. Let your daughter grow up to be who she will become-

OP: your post at 19.20 almost sounds like you are envious of your daughter's nature. You regret she is not interested in Marie Curie (a previous post from you) but you are blowing bubbles at bath times which is much more appropriate for a little girl rather than trying to make her a scientist, architect, engineer or artist. Let your daughter grow up to be who she will become-

OP: your post at 19.20 almost sounds like you are envious of your daughter's nature. You regret she is not interested in Marie Curie (a previous post from you) but you are blowing bubbles at bath times which is much more appropriate for a little girl rather

than trying to make her a scientist, architect, engineer or artist. Let your daughter grow up to be who she will become-

OP: your post at 19.20 almost sounds like you are envious of your daughter's nature. You regret she is not interested in Marie Curie (a previous post from you) but you are blowing bubbles at bath times which is much more appropriate for a little girl rather

than trying to make her a scientist, architect, engineer or artist. Let your daughter grow up to be who she will become-

OP: your post at 19.20 almost sounds like you are envious of your daughter's nature. You regret she is not interested in Marie Curie (a previous post from you) but you are blowing bubbles at bath times which is much more appropriate for a little girl rather

than trying to make her a scientist, architect, engineer or artist. Let your daughter grow up to be who she will become-

• My DD very quickly became much more into pink/unicorns/glitter as soon as she started nursery.

I think OP raises an interesting point.*

Not sure what point is interesting for the OP. She is the one putting stereotypes on her dd and other girls. Why is it a bad thing if a girl is introduced to unicorns and glitter and decides they like it? It doesn't need to define them and as a parent it's your job to ensure they understand that. If you see a previous quote I shared, it states that liking girly things and being an active feminist don't have to cancel each other out. I think we should all understand that more.

She always more interested in the lighter stuff though, I buy those books about famous women and she's much more into Josephine Baker and Coco Chanel rather than Marie Curie or Temple Grandin.

^

At least she's decisive