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Original poster

To want to leave the dog?

200 replies

gottamove · 15/05/2020 11:07

Bit long but trying to get all the info in.

So my partner got me a puppy for Christmas. We didn’t discuss getting a dog. Other than when we were talking about our 10 bedroom house we were going to get when we won the lottery and one of the rooms would be for the dog lol. I never thought it was realistic in general considering we’re living in his parents house. And plus I already had a dog when I was younger that my mum gave away so didn’t want another one unless I was really able to have one, which I’ve told my partner.

Our plan was to always move out this year and now I’m pregnant we definitely need to move. Not only for our own space but because his parents smoke in the house. I wasn’t bothered about it pre pregnancy but now I really need to leave.

So, not to sound ungrateful, my partner got the dog without asking me (but I guess then it wouldn’t have been a surprise) and how it’s worked out is I had to train him, I solely walk him, I pay for insurance, his food and vet stuff. While he just plays with him after work....at 11pm....making him bark a lot which is just annoying when it’s my ‘bedtime’. You see the imbalance right? Anyway struggled with training him from day one (he just doesn’t listen) and he gets bored easily as he’s not allowed to roam the house as my partners parents have two cats who didn’t know what a dog was until he came and they really don’t like him. I can’t ‘roam’ either as I like to stay in my room away from the smoke. And now I’m always sick and tired with being 6 months pregnant and having bad morning sickness. Basically he’s become a bit of a nuisance which I knew would happen if we got a dog now.

I said to my partner if we found a place that is perfect (location, money, space etc) but doesn’t allow pets then I’m moving without the dog as not only is the place good but my child’s health is more important than the dog. Him and his parents think I’m crazy. They all think we should stay where we are for a couple years save a bit more then move. But they’re not willing to stop smoking in the house (which is fine as it’s their house) so I’m not willing to stay. Time is going fast so might even have to move to any place rather than the ‘perfect one’.

Am I being unreasonable to want to leave the dog? I’m not heartless, I will feel extremely bad if I have to not take him with us but I need to get out of here ASAP.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/05/2020 11:10

The dog only knows you. To leave him behind with people who don't seem able to care for him would be very cruel, even though I understand your reasons for doing so.

You need to rehome him or hand him over to a rescue centre NOW before he bonds with you even more.

HiImKate · 15/05/2020 11:11

Leave him where though? It doesn't sound as if your partners parents would want to keep him due to their cats.
You could try to rehome to a suitable hike but you can't leave him somewhere he's not wanted.
I'd be really annoyed at your partner if I were you

Original poster
gottamove · 15/05/2020 11:11

I said leave him as I don't know what I would do with him right now. Don't really want to think about it at the moment as it's last resort.

OP posts:
ducksback · 15/05/2020 11:12

Poor bloody dog. Animals really do not deserve selfish, stupid human beings. Your post has really upset me.

Glitterb · 15/05/2020 11:13

I would just ‘leave’ the dog, that is incredibly irresponsible I’m afraid.
You need to rehome him first as a priority to a proper home, what breed is the dog? Usually breeds have a local organisation which will help rehome that breed. I would want to make sure the dog was settled and happy, and not going to be passed around.
Maybe inform your partner not to get a dog again.

SerenDippitty · 15/05/2020 11:13

Giving a puppy as a surprise present is a shit thing to do. Please rehome the dog as soon as practically possible.

Booboostwo · 15/05/2020 11:13

I can see why you are frustrated, but forget about the dog, the huge problem here is your DP. He got you a dog without consultation while you were living in someone else's house and without you having expressed an overwhelming desire for a dog. Then he lumped you with all dog care. What do you think it will be like when the baby arrives? Do you think he will magically step up and become a responsible adult?

He is also being massively irresponsible thinking you should bring up a baby in a house where people smoke when you have any other kind of option. Of course you need to move out of there as a matter of urgency. In fact, he shouldn't be exposing you, while pregnant, to the smoking either.

He sounds like an immature, irresponsible, man-child. You need to get yourself organized to get out of there with a view to being independent from him.

The dog will have to be rehomed.

PrimrosePeace · 15/05/2020 11:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

PrayingandHoping · 15/05/2020 11:14

Leave him? With your in laws that don't want him or have anything to do with him and won't let him even roam freely in the house because of the cats??

That's not really an option now is it....?

If you don't want the dog then u need to contact a rehoming charity and rehome him responsibly

You may not have asked for the dog but that doesn't mean you can't do the right thing

ducksback · 15/05/2020 11:14

And the poor dog needs to go somewhere where he will be loved and cared for as soon as possible.

Shinygreenelephant · 15/05/2020 11:15

Rehome the dog now. I feel for you but I feel for the poor dog as well. Your partner is an idiot

ducksback · 15/05/2020 11:15

but forget about the dog

No, put the dog first and find him a decent home.

LavenderLotus · 15/05/2020 11:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

Windyatthebeach · 15/05/2020 11:15

I would leave your dp also. Bad pet owners make shit dfs ime...
Take the ddog to a shelter.

00100001 · 15/05/2020 11:15

I'd move out just for the smoking alone.

00100001 · 15/05/2020 11:16

Give the dog away now. DH won't suddenly start walking and feeding it when baby comes along

Better all round really.

AnotherElle · 15/05/2020 11:17

It's very demanding having a dog and if you're not able to meet his needs then he will be better off with a family who can but the whole situation seems unbearable, I understand why you need to move soon and can't make him a priority but to put him on someone else who may potentially rehome him if it doesn't work out is more disruptive to him than taking him to a rescue centre to find his forever family now.

darrenlacey · 15/05/2020 11:17

Your DP is an irresponsible man child. Poor bloody dog.

RosesandIris · 15/05/2020 11:17

Rehome your dog. You don’t want him and the rest of the family can’t be bothered to look after him properly.

darrenlacey · 15/05/2020 11:19

Rehome NOW as it's clearly going to be abandoned in the future with a new mum who never wanted him and your dp who can't be fucked to look after him!!!

Figgygal · 15/05/2020 11:20

Rehome the dog it’s the fairest thing on the animal

myBumJuiceSmellsLikeRoses · 15/05/2020 11:20

Why on earth didn't you tell him you didn't want the dog when he gifted it to you.
It would have been better to take it back there and then.

lifeisgoodmostofthetime · 15/05/2020 11:20

A dog for Christmas. FFS.
Call your local shelter and ask for help.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 15/05/2020 11:21

This is just so sad. That poor wee dog. It sounds like it already has a shit life, stuck in one room with someone who doesn’t want it and going to be left behind with two others that don’t want it. Rehome the dog, but do it properly and don’t FFS advertise it on gumtree of some shit like that. I really hope that poor dog gets a good home and doesn’t end up neglected or on the streets like so many.

ducksback · 15/05/2020 11:22

This is just so sad. That poor wee dog. It sounds like it already has a shit life, stuck in one room with someone who doesn’t want it and going to be left behind with two others that don’t want it. Rehome the dog, but do it properly and don’t FFS advertise it on gumtree of some shit like that. I really hope that poor dog gets a good home and doesn’t end up neglected or on the streets like so many

This. And all so avoidable.

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