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Original poster

To want to leave the dog?

200 replies

gottamove · 15/05/2020 11:07

Bit long but trying to get all the info in.

So my partner got me a puppy for Christmas. We didn’t discuss getting a dog. Other than when we were talking about our 10 bedroom house we were going to get when we won the lottery and one of the rooms would be for the dog lol. I never thought it was realistic in general considering we’re living in his parents house. And plus I already had a dog when I was younger that my mum gave away so didn’t want another one unless I was really able to have one, which I’ve told my partner.

Our plan was to always move out this year and now I’m pregnant we definitely need to move. Not only for our own space but because his parents smoke in the house. I wasn’t bothered about it pre pregnancy but now I really need to leave.

So, not to sound ungrateful, my partner got the dog without asking me (but I guess then it wouldn’t have been a surprise) and how it’s worked out is I had to train him, I solely walk him, I pay for insurance, his food and vet stuff. While he just plays with him after work....at 11pm....making him bark a lot which is just annoying when it’s my ‘bedtime’. You see the imbalance right? Anyway struggled with training him from day one (he just doesn’t listen) and he gets bored easily as he’s not allowed to roam the house as my partners parents have two cats who didn’t know what a dog was until he came and they really don’t like him. I can’t ‘roam’ either as I like to stay in my room away from the smoke. And now I’m always sick and tired with being 6 months pregnant and having bad morning sickness. Basically he’s become a bit of a nuisance which I knew would happen if we got a dog now.

I said to my partner if we found a place that is perfect (location, money, space etc) but doesn’t allow pets then I’m moving without the dog as not only is the place good but my child’s health is more important than the dog. Him and his parents think I’m crazy. They all think we should stay where we are for a couple years save a bit more then move. But they’re not willing to stop smoking in the house (which is fine as it’s their house) so I’m not willing to stay. Time is going fast so might even have to move to any place rather than the ‘perfect one’.

Am I being unreasonable to want to leave the dog? I’m not heartless, I will feel extremely bad if I have to not take him with us but I need to get out of here ASAP.

OP posts:
Straycatstrut · 15/05/2020 11:56

Once everything goes back to some sort of normality and they aren't cute puppies anymore I predict a lot of dogs will be looking for new homes.

I don't have a lot of people on my FB but SO many of them have got #lockdownpuppies. It's so sad. What happens when they all go back to work full time too? poor dogs won't understand.

happypoobum · 15/05/2020 11:57

I would keep the doggy and get rid of the bloke

VickyEadieofThigh · 15/05/2020 11:57

I feel so sorry for you and the poor dog.

Take the dog to a reputable homing centre - Dogs Trust - do this now - its clearly not having a great life at the moment.

Please do this. Don't even consider advertising it privately (I see ads pop up on Pets4Homes for dogs people are trying to offload every day and it breaks my heart) - contact Dogs Trust and they will help you.

mencken · 15/05/2020 11:58

you were given a lot of work that you didn't want. Rehome the dog before it is so damaged that no-one will take it. Most landlords don't want tenants with dogs, and you are sensibly prioritising yourself over a lower life-form that you didn't want anyway.

expect to be an effective single parent too, I bet he won't lift a finger to help with the 24/7 childcare burden. Good luck, you're going to need it.

SirVixofVixHall · 15/05/2020 11:59

How old is the dog now and what breed is he ? As both those things affect his chances of being re-homed.
You should have given him back to the breeder as soon as your partner brought him home, obviously. However as that didn’t happen you now need to look at other options. There might be a group for the breed.

ravenmum · 15/05/2020 11:59

I would seriously consider rehoming the dog now anyway. My sister is currently struggling with dealing with her little daughter and a dog while having to find a job as she's split from her ex. Your dp's behaviour is worrying - buying a dog was idiotic, as you say, and if he expects you to look after it all the time and is a "Disney dog dad", you can expect to be thoughtlessly loaded with further responsibility when you move - let alone if you split up. Better to rehome the dog now than a few years down the line when the dog will suffer more and you'll be even more resentful.

JemimaShore · 15/05/2020 12:00

Oh dear. This is why dogs should never be given as surprise Christmas presents. I feel so sad for that dog.

OP, this is not actually your fault - but it looks like you'll need to be the responsible adult here, and get the dog properly re-homed.

Make sure you use a proper, no-kill rescue. Do not sell it/give it away on Facebook, Preloved, Gumtree or whatever.

Tell your partner that he is not to get any more pets as surprise presents. Getting a dog is a serous commitment and needs proper planning.

Astrabees · 15/05/2020 12:01

what breed of dog is it?

Moondust001 · 15/05/2020 12:02

Rehome him. Now. This minute. None of you should have a dog, and I'm kind of concerned about you being able to have a baby. "The dog doesn't listen" when you try to train him? Have you any idea at all about how well children listen?

RedPanda2 · 15/05/2020 12:04

Take the dog, leave the boyfriend with his parents. He's a buffoon

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 15/05/2020 12:04

OP, if you got it for Christmas then he's still a puppy, of course he won't be trained yet.

You seem to be avoiding the questions about the breed.

houseplantlover · 15/05/2020 12:04

Your partner is an idiot. Re-home the dog

SimonJT · 15/05/2020 12:05

At the moment most rescues are only taking dogs at risk of being PTS as so few people are able to rehome dogs at the moment.

Nevermind the dog, I would never live where people smoke indoors, and I’m a smoker!

Eolhc1990 · 15/05/2020 12:06

Give the dog a chance and give him to a home that will love him and treat him right. And please don't ever ever get another dog it's not that "he doesn't listen".... he is a puppy you are obviously just not training him right.

Barryisland · 15/05/2020 12:11

This reply has been deleted

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viques · 15/05/2020 12:12

Please rehome your dog asap. Realistically you are unlikely to find a house with a garden, near enough to your partners work, with a landlord willing to take pets and move in the next three months. So you, the dog ,the baby and the man child will be living in one room.

And do you think the smoking grandparents are going to agree to not coming into your room to see the baby? What are you going to do with the baby when you need to use the washing machine? Leave it in the room with the dog or take it into the smoke? How are you going to manage the dog and the new born going out for walks a couple of times a day? Do you think a dog and a new born will be a good mix in one room?

You have got a nightmare fast approaching. You are not going to get rid of the baby, your OH or the smokers.

But you can make sure that at least one of the components, ie the dog, is safe, well , and out of the situation by making sure it has a proper home, suitable for a dog where it is not going to end up getting the blame for everything else that is wrong in your life.

HuggedTheRedwoods · 15/05/2020 12:13

Poor puppy - its still only a baby itself.

As suggested by several posters speak to the Dogs Trust or a rescue that specialises in its breed (unless I've missed an update I can't see what breed it is but if you tell us someone might be able to point you in the right direction).

Please whatever you do dont advertise it on one of those free sites or give it away to someone you dont know.

LivingThatLockdownLife · 15/05/2020 12:15

How old is DP? He sounds about 13

twinkle2306 · 15/05/2020 12:16

You need to surrender the dog to a rescue. The attitude of just leaving the dog is awful and you should be a little ashamed!

If you have a dog find a place that accepts dogs. It's not hard. I always said to estate agents or landlords that we had a dog before anything ever started so that places we were offered were suitable.

So you have your options surrender to a rescue (DO NOT SELL ONLINE) or find a place that accepts your dog.

OldLace · 15/05/2020 12:16

Your DP is an irresponsible man-child, sorry.

Re-home the dog. You have done right by it, but will have a newborn.
Your partner is unlikely to help with either.
I'd find somewhere else to live, nearer decent support for you.
The dog will be happier, you will be happier.

YinuCeatleAyru · 15/05/2020 12:17

YANBU to not want to be responsible for the dog. You never asked for this responsibility, so it is your selfish idiot of a DP who is responsible. The puppy should be rehomed ASAP as the younger it is, the more chance it has of finding a forever family.

Animals should never be given as presents and never be a "surprise" - the fact that your DP doesn't know this makes me think he probably isn't a keeper either.

You should certainly move out ASAP, not taking the puppy with you, and probably not the DP either.

Honeyroar · 15/05/2020 12:18

Poor dog, what a shit home he’s found himself in through no fault of his own. Sort it out! Speak to rescues, local dog sitters etc and try and find him a decent home. You can’t just leave him. That would be disgusting. Then sort your own life out. Why are you with (and having children with) someone who does what they want with no concerns for what you want? You’d be better dumping him.

diddl · 15/05/2020 12:18

Blimey what a twat your OH.

Apart from being as lazy as fuck where the dog is concerned-he makes it bark when you're off to bed?

Fuck me!

All this after to actually told him that you didn't want a dog!

I guess he thought that you didn't mean it & he knew betterHmm

Hope you find a good home for it!

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 15/05/2020 12:18

Keep the dog

Get rid of the feckless bloke and his parents

I am not joking

What a family you’ve married into!

The way he dealt with the puppy (a bit of fun and winding it up, but not taking proper responsibility) is an indicator of the type of dad he’ll be

Escape whilst you can

Pogmella · 15/05/2020 12:21

Bet the dog is an ‘a-poo’ breed of some description...

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