To think people shouldn't be guilted into still paying their cleaner, tutor, gardener etc?

[selfemployedconfused]

I've seen a lot of threads on here lately debating whether or not you should still pay for your cleaner, gardener, tutor etc. If you haven't been furloughed / financially affected and can genuinely afford it then fair enough, but AIBU to think that you shouldn't feel guilted into having to pay when you aren't receiving a service?

I am a self employed tutor and approximately 50% of my clients have stopped lessons as they aren't happy to continue online and they have stopped paying me. They have all said they are happy to continue tutoring once school resumes. I didn't once question or think about their finances, my attitude was that they aren't receiving the service for the time being so why should they continue to pay me every week?

I also employ a cleaner and I haven't been paying her as she obviously hasn't been able to clean... we were both fine with this and it didn't occur to me that I might be being unreasonable. I don't feel hard done by for my own clients not paying for a service they aren't receiving, and I didn't feel bad for not paying my cleaner until I read some threads on here. Everyone is in a difficult position at the moment and I think some of the judgement and making people feel guilty on here is strange!

YABU = Yes people should feel guilty about no longer paying.
YANBU = No people shouldn't feel guilty about no longer paying.

[RainMustFall]

I don't have to be guilted - I have paid my cleaner from the start of lockdown to the end of June and will pay further if required.

However, that is my decision to make, just as it is for others to make their own decisions which are are none of your business or mine.

[ginghamstarfish]

Hasn't this debate been going on for weeks? I don't have a cleaner or gardener etc, and don't understand why you would pay them for not working. If they have been declaring income then they should be eligible for taxpayer help, if not then as a taxpayer I can't have much sympathy.

[heartsonacake]

Heartonacake I love how self isolation because you're shielding is a choice. Don't be so daft.

Whathewhatnow I never said it was I said multivac chose to stop her cleaner coming to her house, which she did.

[GoatyGoatyMingeMinge]

What you would block me for saying I would and have continued to pay my cleaner?

Sorry @mrscampbellblackagain, my post was a bit mysterious! No, I meant you might want to block me - we're well off, but we're not paying our cleaner.

[Claireindc]

I think that if you can, it's a lovely thing to do -- especially as cleaners etc are the lowest paid in our society and aren't able to work from home. But if you've lost revenue of your own and/or you can't afford to, then it's totally fine not to.

[Claireindc]

(I should add that as I'm British but US-based, here it's even more important to as there's so safety net. I don't know what's happening in the UK re: benefits for people who've lost some but not all work like that.)

[WitchQueenofDarkness]

I'm paying my cleaner and will continue to do so until it is safe for her to return.

My income is unaffected and I can afford it. I know she can't wait until Govt support trickles in.

It's the right thing to do.

[Hibbetyhob]

Meh. I couldn’t care less what anyone else does.

I’m paying my cleaners and my childminder in full because I have long-standing relationships with them, they’re brilliant and I’m just lucky to be in a job where I’m still being paid in full. It’s nice to be able to pass on that luck.

[GoatyGoatyMingeMinge]

Hear hear @Hibbetyhob

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Haven't RTFT

If you can comfortably, you should. If you can't, don't.

We're supporting a couple of non-profit hobby places that we like, buying vouchers to restaurants which are local and we want to keep open. Cancelled the utterly shit tutor because it was great to have an excuse. Don't have a cleaner. We're both working (essential both) and better off because there's nothing to spend money on right now.

[AbsentmindedWoman]

Snorting at the sweeping statement that self-employed people chose this willingly.

Plenty of people are self-employed because they cannot get waged or salaried employment that actually pays the bills.

Most jobs are unforgivingly inflexible for people with disabilities, or people struggling to get childcare. Sometimes the only thing left to try is self-employment.

I'm not knocking self-employment one bit and it is my preferred way of earning money but lets not pretend that it is always a freely made choice.

[Pleasebeafleabite]

Posters have arrived to tell us what we should spend our money on I see.

If, like me, you're a pajama clad laptop jockey with a wage coming in at the end of each month- then you should do what you can

Peak grandiloquence with this one.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

You're fairly sesquipedalian yourself Please

[Pleasebeafleabite]

Indeed. Genuine question Mrs Terry as you’re another “should”. Why? Is paying taxes not enough? Why does your personal choice become what other people should do ?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Because I'm aware that I am in an extremely fortunate position during an extremely difficult time. Spare cash and two people in essential roles. Therefore it behooves me to try to do what I can to; prevent a massive recession, take the strain off the public purse, try to make the future a bit less shit. It benefits all of us not to impoverish the world and if people can stay employed even if they can't currently work, it will help all of us.

My hair dresser has already gone under. I hate finding new hairdressers. I'd only do it for local small businesses.

And 'shoulds' don't compel you. You can make an entirely different assessment.

[Pleasebeafleabite]

Interesting, thank you. I pay my hairdresser a big tip at Christmas, but not because it’s “the right thing to do”, mainly because I want her to continue to fit me in for good appointment times and because I like her personally. I entirely get this type of reasoning.

I have issue with posters saying “you should” rather than “I choose to”.

[unlimiteddilutingjuice]

Because I'm aware that I am in an extremely fortunate position during an extremely difficult time.

This is how I feel. Due to some arbitrary good luck, I'm suddenly much better off than my neighbours.
People in the next street are going short of food.
Why wouldn't you do what you can?

[unlimiteddilutingjuice]

Peak grandiloquence with this one

This is a cool word. Thanks for introducing me to it.

I thought, at first, you have invented your own portmanteau of "grandious" and "inelequent" which would also have been cool.

I still think you should pay your cleaner though.

[MusicianTom]

Thanks AbsentmindedWoman, and we can add to that list those who do jobs where the only option available is to be self employed because there are (almost) no PAYE jobs - they just don't exist.

Most people who work in live entertainment / the arts / film and television production / professional musicians, dancers etc (so all the people whose work you've been enjoying during lockdown) are self-employed. Yes, that's a choice inasmuch as they could choose to work in an office instead (assuming there were enough such jobs), but then there would be no arts for everyone to enjoy.

[lightlypoached]

I agree re virtue signalling.

We've continued to pay our cleaner. She's a lovely lady who is diligent, cleans with care and attention, brings presents and Easter eggs for the kids and is just very lovely. We don't want her risking her health coming here by bus, just so we can have a clean loo. I'm still being paid fully so my feeling is I can afford it, it's the right thing to do and if she gets additional from the gov as well, so what? There are a ton of very rich tax avoiding companies out there so I really, really don't care if a few lower paid people make a bit extra in what is a very shit time indeed. It will maybe make up for the many clients who aren't continuing or who can't pay.

I've had time in my life when I was at the 'heat or eat?' point, working 2 jobs just to keep my head above water. It was bloody miserable and I'd not wish that in anyone, let alone someone I like who looks after me and my family.

It's personal choice.

I've paid my hairdresser too. He's a bloody legend and has become a friend. I just think of it as being paying it forward. But as I said, I can afford it (at the moment anyway!). I'll be first in the queue when he's able to work again. My exploding / expanding Barnet is getting out of control

[Newkitchen123]

Self employed tutor here
I moved a few lessons online
Others don't want to do online
Lost some due to no exams
I'm claiming the SE furlough money
I don't expect to be paid for a service I'm not providing, I've client did offer and I said no
I don't have a cleaner but if I did it would be exactly the same

[AmIAWeed]

I'm paying, to be fair it is primarily out if guilt. One customer of my cleaners past away just before lockdown and the same week she was let go by someone I introduced her to.
She hasn't had a chance to rebuild and replace that work so was already struggling. My guilt is based on knowing her circumstances, knowing mine haven't changed financially and not threads like this. She's a lovely lady.
My plan is to pay until the end of May and ask her to come back, if she doesn't then I will need to find someone else, unless anyone in my household shows symptoms in which case it all changes again!

[NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite]

Won't most cleaners, gardeners, tutors etc either be self-employed or operating a business so entitled to Govt help?

I wouldn't pay for a service I wasn't receiving just as I wouldn't expect to pay for a service I wasn't providing.

[unlimiteddilutingjuice]

Won't most cleaners, gardeners, tutors etc either be self-employed or operating a business so entitled to Govt help?

A lot of people don't qualify and it take a while to come though.

[Abracad]

Fucking Hell. If you think the Govt should be running a furlough scheme, if you are still being paid, then you should be considerate about the people you employ. This isn’t an opportunity for you to squirrel away some cash and get even wealthier.
Fucking
Tories