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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask how your life changed between the age of 30 to 35??

209 replies

Gieennorg · 11/05/2020 18:35

If it has!

Being nosey having just turned 30 and wondering where I will be in 5 years time! Hoping to have bought a house (waiting for the market to stabilise) be married with children (at least one!) Not asking for much am I haha!! 👀 anything could happen so i dont want to jinx it but looking forward to the future is really keeping me going right now!

How about you? 😀

OP posts:
4amWitchingHour · 11/05/2020 18:50

I'm nearly 34, since 30 I have:

  • changed job three times (ended up almost doubling my salary after staying pretty much static throughout my 20s)
  • got engaged and got married (although was already with my DH)
  • now 7 months pregnant

Looking back, that's quite a lot! Good question OP! The coming year will be an adventure too :)

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 11/05/2020 18:52

Not a huge amount, all my big events happens between 23 and 29 (married, had 2 children, bought a flat, ran a theatre company, emigrated) but 30-35 we bought a house in the country we now live in, rejigged my career but that’s a long and ongoing process, we did travel a lot more which was wonderful, lost my mother in law but that was complicated. Just kind of kept moving along really

AliasGrape · 11/05/2020 18:52

At 30 I was still trying to put myself back together following the shitstorm of a break up with my cheating ex I’d been with my entire adult life just before our wedding. I had a job I loved though and amazing friends and was doing the dating and going out a lot that I missed out on my 20s. I’d moved back in with my mum following the break up.

By 35 I’d moved abroad and then moved back again when my mum became terminally ill. She died when I was 33 so at 35 I was still reeling a bit. Career hadn’t quite recovered from the move abroad and then home and then time out caring for mum. I’d started a masters degree. Was single in between a few short relationships renting a lovely little house with my dog and contemplating going down the donor route as I was convinced I wasn’t going to meet anyone in time to have a baby and was so desperate to be a mum. Little did I know I was about to meet someone.

Now at 40 I’m married with a baby due soon. Career never did quite recover but I’m far happier doing what I’m doing (although not doing it at the moment thanks to lockdown!)

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 11/05/2020 18:52

I had two babies, gave up a successful career that I hated to care for them, moved cities, and bought a house.

Original poster
Gieennorg · 11/05/2020 18:53

@Ilikeviognier I'm really sorry to hear about the passing of your parents Flowers no not upbeat but you know what it's part of life and it can demonstrate how things can dramatically change in 5 years.. for better or for worse! Sad

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 11/05/2020 18:53

I moved into my own flat after leaving my husband. Partner moved in, got divorced and had a baby.

Now 35 and pregnant with my second.

Elouera · 11/05/2020 18:54
  • Got married (had been dating 9yrs before wedding day)
  • Started TTC (9yrs later and still TTC and 3 losses later)
  • Planned on moving out of London, did up a property then, got promoted and the commute would have killed me, so stayed in London
  • Promotion meant a much more stressful job, more travel, less time to TTC but a very comfortable wage
rosyribbon · 11/05/2020 18:54

Met my future husband at 32, wasnt even remotely looking for someone.
Engaged at 35 and married the next year.

ScarfLadysBag · 11/05/2020 18:55

Bought our family home, got had DD, got married. And with one year to spare!

2beautifulbabs · 11/05/2020 18:56

Married at 29 had my first Baby at 30 and then my second baby at 32.
We have a mortgage , we own our car no finance not well to do but not bad either just comfortably living.
I'm currently a sahm since having my first.
I am looking to get back into work but currently debating training into something specific unsure what yet 😬 I'm 33 years old and still don't truly know what I want to do career wise 🤦🏻‍♀️

hammeringinmyhead · 11/05/2020 18:57

We bought our current house (second one) when I was 29, so all that's really changed is deciding at 32 to have a baby. I was 34 when he was born as he wasn't for rushing! I'm 35 now and have just lost the job I'd had since 2007.

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/05/2020 19:01

Got divorced, lived a sofa for a while, got my own place and lived by myself for the first time, met DH, got married again, became a step mum, moved house 3 times, bought a house, learnt to drive, had 5 miscarriages and then our DD.

It was busy.

Stayed in the same job though Grin

LST · 11/05/2020 19:01

I'm 30 in June. I already have 2 children and have recently purchased our first house. I would like to be married by the time I am 35.

billydilly · 11/05/2020 19:03

Got married, got sober, lost my mum and had a baby. In that order.

heidbuttsupper · 11/05/2020 19:03

Was married and then widowed in those 5 years

TwoZeroTwoZero · 11/05/2020 19:03

I had 2 dc, moved house (not far: we only to the other end of our village because the house was a bit bigger) and got married. A couple of family members died. We're a lot more skint than we were at 30 and are in pretty much the same jobs.

LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 11/05/2020 19:04

I was already married, but we bought our first house, I changed career to something better paid and more flexible, and had a baby Smile

Piglet89 · 11/05/2020 19:06

This is a really interesting one @Gieennorg

I met my now husband about 3 months after turning 30. Before I was 35, we:

Moved in together
Bought a house
Got married
Tried for children...

Outside your date range, I know, but when I was 36, we were told we were unlikely to be able to have children naturally but...

... when I was 37, we conceived spontaneously and I gave birth at 38, 4 years and a day after our wedding anniversary.

My professional life has also transformed, thanks to huge support from my husband.

A lot has happened!

otterturk · 11/05/2020 19:07

Between 30 and 32 I've travelled for a year, met someone, started a brilliant new job that's secure even now, gotten engaged and am 5 months pregnant :D

CostaCosta · 11/05/2020 19:07

I had second ds, moved to a lovely village and retrained as a teacher

BlodwynBludd · 11/05/2020 19:12

Got married, bought a family home, had two children, had cancer, had cancer all clear and decided life is two short so quit career I spent my 20s on!

BlodwynBludd · 11/05/2020 19:12

*too

KingscoteStaff · 11/05/2020 19:14

Got married at 31. 33 DS born. 35 DD born. Decided to retrain for new career. Started post grad course at 35 and 11 months.

It didn’t feel that quick!

x2boys · 11/05/2020 19:15

Very single at 30,had been for most of my 20,s met dh at 31 married him six-month,s laterShock pregnant about 8 months after that ,ds 1was born when I 33 and pregnant with ds2at 35 .46 now ds1is 13 and ds210 still married.

Nitw1t · 11/05/2020 19:18

At 30 I was mostly single. Living alone in a city centre rented flat. Unknowingly in a casual relationship with a married man. Drinking waaaay too much. I'd just had a double mastectomy at 29. I'd just started a new job in a small company.

At 35, I was living with my DP (eventually DH - we got together on my 31st birthday) in a (rented) house in the burbs. Pregnant with our second DS. On the board of directors of the company I'd been working for for 5 years.

At 40. We're married. DS2 is about to start school (COVID willing) I'm living in the house we own and have built to be our "dream house". I'm the director of my own business which is (somehow) still going ok. I'm happy.

The years have been kind, I wasn't in a great place at 30.