To wonder how couples can never argue?

[Pikachupoops]

I have seen a few times on mumsnet, people saying that they have never argued with their other half. Maybe I'm being unreasonable but how is that even possible? How is that neither party gets upset about anything, etc? I have never know anyone that doesn't have a disagreement every now and then

It’s partly a personality thing. I’m far to grumpy and easily irritated never to argue with anyone.

We argued quite a bit when we were younger but honestly, not really at all now.

I mean, we get a little fed up at one and other from time to time but that always gets resolved with a conversation and a cuddle.

Urgh, we are growing up.

My husband is super non-confrontational. It works well for me because I am quite confrontational so it has forced me to mellow quite a bit! He just doesn't argue back

I know one couple how never argue. He tells her what to do and she silently seethes... they are very proud they dont argue. But they arent mega happily married either, just bad communicators

It's not healthy. Dh upsets me, I tell him, we get over it

I’m not sure I remember the last time we had a blazing argument as in raised voices etc but we’ve definitely had a few in our time.

We do disagree oftenish as we are quite different but usually manage to do it without an argument per se.

We’ve got friends who are a couple and they bicker constantly which drives me nuts. I brought it up with her once and she said that the bickering stops it building up to a full blown argument which I thought was interesting. Personally I’d take an argument every now and then over constant bickering!

I agree with you OP I don’t see how that is possible! Even if its just silly little things that annoy you can lead to an argument its not all life changing make or break topics. I think its normal and healthy to have the occasional argument. Even if its just because your hormonal, tired or stressed not even directly anything your partner has done. I think as long as it’s not too often and you talk it through, apologise where needed or make changes it can lead to a stronger relationship. I wonder if couples who NEVER argue just don't care anymore or bottle things up to avoid confrontation? Or maybe some people are just really chilled out?!

Been together 19 years never argue sometimes disagree maybe get on each other's nervous. But never had raised voices, name calling or not spoken. We are really chilled and very equal and we don't sweat the small stuff

What do you mean by argue?

Do you mean disagree, discuss an issue, listen to each other's pov, explain your own and either find a solution or agree to disagree.

Or do you mean lose tempers and go toe to toe, shout and insult each other and storm around the house

Because we do the first but not the second and I think that's what many if not most people mean when they say they don't argue. Not that they never disagree, just that they don't tell at each other.

Yell not tell

The others not each other.
FFS.

What do you mean by argue? Are you talking raised voices or do you mean have differences?

What PP have said, it depends what you mean by argue

Of course DH & I disagree about things and are fine to do that but we never shout at each other, swear or call each other names

5 years, never argued. We're both good at calm discussions and listening to each other's point of view. Of course we occasionally disagree about things, but never in a heated way.

I was raised in a shouting, screaming, abusive household so I very deliberately do not want to be a part of anything resembling that.

If one of us were ever to raise our voice at each other, it would be a huge deal for us.

No point in arguing in my marriage - I’m always right.

In 25 years or thereabouts never argued. Minor disagreements but nothing I can really think of. I don't sweat the small stuff and DP probably gets away with murder....

Together almost 20 years and we’ve never had an argument. We’ve had differences of opinion/preference, but have never raised voices or lost tempers.

Just as you’re incredulous that people don’t argue, I’m incredulous that people do regularly.

People have different temperaments. Some people flare up very quickly, others find it easy to stay calm and perhaps even laugh together at the challenge of solving a disagreement.

Dh and I did argue a bit when we were young, but not really lately. It's not because one of us always gives in, it's more that we've got better at quickly seeing who cares more about any particular issue and more willing to solve problems in such a way that they don't leave either of us seething.

My mum and dad love each other dearly, but they do bicker a lot, and I find that quite exhausting. It's not that I am sure it does that much harm; it's more that it seems so much effort.

I would say though, that in discussions like this there's always people who come along to say "if you don't argue, you must not be passionate about each other" or "you must be bottling everything up" or "you must not communicate at all" etc etc. That bothers me. Every relationship is different!

I was raised with shouting and screaming arguments. I had no idea that there was any other way to disagree at first.

DH grew up in "The Silent Treatment" family where there was often a terrible atmosphere.

We both find even the thought of those situations exhausting now and can resolve things without me yelling and him sulking.

I do everything I can to avoid it. It's horrendous on the few occasions it happens.

@Wearywithteens if you and your dh don't argue why do you think you're so different from ALL of the other couples you know who don't argue. Who is whipped; you or dh?

:o MyHair.

We have disagreements occasionally but have never argued - raised voices, ignored each other, walked out etc.

We are not argumentative people. My husband is a mild and very diplomatic guy. I don’t think he’s ever been in a fight with anyone, ever. We sometimes disagree but we both have enough emotional intelligence to discuss what’s bothering us and find common ground. I have never asked but I always imagined most of our friends are like this too!