Step daughter in almost naked pictures

[FirstTimeMum54321]

My DSD has just celebrated her 15th birthday. Like a lot of girls her age, she could easily pass for 18. She is very good with makeup and looks beautiful. She has a public instagram account that anyone could see, and poses very 'sexy' pictures which leave very little to the imagination. I know I'll get hammered for this, but she is making herself look really cheap. There are pictures of her breasts with hearts over the nipples. Naked bum shots with just a tiny thong I'm not exaggerating. I would kill to look like her but the pictures make me cringe. I'm not her mum and I've spoken to her dad about it but he's not interested in doing anything about it. I have a terrible relationship with her mum so can't speak to her about it. I don't know if her mum knows about it as I don't think she uses instagram. I've tried reporting this to instagram but they don't give a flying fig.

I'm worried that some old paedo is looking at her pictures or worse still she'll be groomed.
Should I just stay out of it?

You need to ignore it. You've told her father and he's not done anything, so it's not your problem. Reporting her profile is just mean imo.

I've had a similar conversation about tiktok with DSD. We had a chat about who exactly would be interested in following a 14 year old girl. And I pointed out anyone following her who wasn't a friend was probably using her as wank fodder (obviously in more appropriate language).

Tiktok is no longer the same issue.

Well done for caring OP, you sound like a terrific step Mum. Not sure why anyone on here is criticising you for showing an interest. Sounds like the School safeguarding Lead is the way to go. x

dontdisturbmenow

FFS, OP is not being dramatic. At the very least, the girl will be talked about among her peers if these images are spotted by them. And given she seems to have no privacy settings on, that's very likely, with them all being at home with more time on their hands. Posting these images at all suggests the girl has some insecurities, and being the subject of gossip will only add to this.

That the dad knows and is ignoring it means he's a crap parent. He should be talking to his DD about this.

I'm actually gobsmacked that some posters on this forum would rather a child was potentially abused than a step mother got involved.

doesn't matter whether she is gawjus or not, this is almost child porn and she is being extremely stupid. Also not a lot of self-esteem showing off tits and arse, she clearly only values herself for her appearance.

Don't they teach them that what goes on the internet is effectively being posted on a huge public billboard? Parents need to stop it, and as at least one doesn't care there's only you. Speak to the school, and let bio-mum chuck the toys.

Is she on private? (Sorry if that’s been asked, skip reading because the kids are being nightmares). I’d email the school, and keep reporting.

Screenshot the images and the ones of her in uniform and email to the school with your concerns about safeguarding.

I actually cannot believe anyone would give advice like this. Nor can I believe anyone would advise you to 'stay out of it'. FFS.

@FirstTimeMum54321, I'm sorry you're having to deal with some of the more unpleasant posters on MN, most are not like that at all.

You're in a difficult position here but I'm glad that your DSD has at least one person concerned about these images that she's sharing. What is your relationship with her mum like? Your OH should obviously be dealing with this but since he's being a spineless twat about it I would suggest that mum would be your next port of call but I suppose that depends on what kind of relationship you have with her? Are you on civil terms?

You are right to be worried. What you can do about it I do not know. Her dad is doing nothing, would probably rather not know and the schools are not operating - however, her school may be open soon and perhaps you could talk to someone there.

The girl doesn't realise how vulnerable she is making herself. If you report it to someone at least it will be recorded that one member of her family cared enough to do so.

You have my sympathy.

"I've said throughout my husband is crap for not doing anything. But so is her mum!"

Her mum who might not know?

I'm guessing that you can't talk to your step daughter?

If not then perhaps school is the only option?

Is sge doing anything wrong by posting such images of herself?

Sounds like you're with a crap man who doesnt care for his daughter.

....what do you see in him ?

MN is a funny old place. If you'd posted the same thing on a different day OP you'd probably have received very different responses! There is nothing wrong with your OP and the protection of children is everyone's business IMO, even more so if you know that child. I think it's worth making a noise about with your DH and the girl's mum.

This is a safeguarding issue OP of course you need to do something. How about contacting the NSPCC and having a chat with them? 0808 800 5000 There's information here on online safety and what to do. Here's the Government Guidelines on this. I would also report to school safeguarding. You can get photos of her erased from Google searches by reporting under 'right to be forgotten' .

Is sge doing anything wrong by posting such images of herself?

A 15 year old kid posting photos in a thong on social media? You need to ask?

Contract the school. Make sure it is marked urgent - safeguarding.
They will be working.
There will be a DSL but there will also be a deputy DSL
Identifiable school uniform increases the risk to your step daughter considerably.
It also gives a slight increased risk to others attending the same school.

@Footywife
You need to ignore it. You've told her father and he's not done anything, so it's not your problem. Reporting her profile is just mean imo.

@Footywife wait, weren't you on a thread about cheating gleefully saying that all cheating women should be branded with a giant "C" on their foreheads and implying they had low self-esteem? Now you've come onto a thread about a girl who likely has self image and esteem issues but you're telling a caring adult not to intervene? Why would you not want to nip this in the bud before a young adult woman gets taken advantage of and be branded as a cheater? Your double standards are showing.

@FirstTimeMum54321 you're probably freaked out and angry about the posts but try to focus. You haven't yet answered the question others are asking:

Have you actually spoken to your SD about the photos yet?

Also even though you may have a dicey relationship with her mother, I would still contact her individually and then contact both her and your partner together and say something along the lines that "You need to deal with this as her parents."

Report it to the school safeguarding person.

God some of the posters on here are either really stupid or really bloody naive!
Of course OP should report the profile - ITS CHILD PORN YOU DAFT TWATS.

Btw OP you sound like a wonderful and caring stepmother, sorry you have to deal with half-arsed parenting from your DSDs bio-parents, unfortunately for alot of misguided teens they arent so lucky to have someone like you looking out for them and 9/10 end up in horrible situations.

MN is full of vitriol this month. If you posted saying the same thing but said you wasnt interested in the girl but the focus was your DH you we flamed for not caring. You can not win on here.

School might well decide this up to MASH so it might hit SS. Let them decide. They are trained and all follow law and guidelines. Let them call it.

Your getting responses here are quite frankly batshit and dangerously misinformed.

Take your relationship to her out of it. You have a duty to safeguard. She is legally a child. If she was your neighbour you would have that duty.

I think maybe all adults could benefit from safeguarding training as common sense is lacking.

There are a lot of girls aged 15 who look like this. It's awful. I agree with you.

There's a 15 yr old (just turned) I know of who's dating a 23 yr old man - and her mum is FINE with it!!!! She looks older than him. Clearly sleeping together.

I find it weird that MN one day will take you to reign yourself in and it's all woman power and that crap and the next it's out of order.

Report it. Anonymously.

I would report it as a safeguarding to social services. She is a child that needs protecting.

The schools are open, you can concact the Heads or Head of Year or even the tutor if you know who that is. If the account is public, that means half the school if not more already have seen it (kids and probably parents), so the sooner this is going to be taken down the better. I am shocked it has not been reported by someone (or you and her dad) already. You can say who you are, it should not be passed to the DSD who reported the account.

The staff will be looking at emails. Send a message to her Head of Year. This is a safeguarding issue. I would keep the link you have to her quiet or if might put further pressure on your relationship.

School will send it to socail services if they need to. That's why it's better just to let them crack on with it. They are legally bound to chase SS/ MASH on anything they report.

If you hand it over it's done and dusted. You dont have make judgement calls or follow it up