Step daughter in almost naked pictures

[FirstTimeMum54321]

My DSD has just celebrated her 15th birthday. Like a lot of girls her age, she could easily pass for 18. She is very good with makeup and looks beautiful. She has a public instagram account that anyone could see, and poses very 'sexy' pictures which leave very little to the imagination. I know I'll get hammered for this, but she is making herself look really cheap. There are pictures of her breasts with hearts over the nipples. Naked bum shots with just a tiny thong I'm not exaggerating. I would kill to look like her but the pictures make me cringe. I'm not her mum and I've spoken to her dad about it but he's not interested in doing anything about it. I have a terrible relationship with her mum so can't speak to her about it. I don't know if her mum knows about it as I don't think she uses instagram. I've tried reporting this to instagram but they don't give a flying fig.

I'm worried that some old paedo is looking at her pictures or worse still she'll be groomed.
Should I just stay out of it?

I won't be telling her she looks cheap!! It was a way of describing the pictures, I get criticised for saying she looks good, and then for saying she looks bad! I really can't win on this forum.

Spatchcock is a terminally offended person, how else would I describe a photograph? Ridiculous.

Her father does not want to deal with it and I agree that's crap. But so is her mother for not knowing it's going on. As her step mum I'm criticised for caring!! Talk about not knowing what to do right for doing wrong.

@AvoidingRealHumans Covering bits doesn’t make it okay. Nor does distributing the images, a school doesn’t need to look at a child almost naked to take action. If the teacher did choose to look at them they would be viewing images of possible child abuse. The only people who should be looking at them are appropriately trained officers, also the only people who should be copying the images.

I will not be sending the photos anywhere. I am not stupid!

I was not jumping on the mum alone I've said throughout my husband is crap for not doing anything. But so is her mum!

Not terminally offended at all. Just been on here a long time and seen a lot of trolls posting stuff like this in the hopes that others will offer up similar stories.

Sorry OP.

School safeguarding Lead NOW. My friend is one and is spending all day chasing up cases on the phone and doing visits to the gates of vulnerable students houses to deliver free school meals, learning packs and check in.

That’s your answer. No need for any other avenues. School Safeguarding Lead. Having worked with children for 17 years, I’ve been dealing with this sort of thing since 2006...it’s pretty common.

Of course it's real? I really don't get the horrible people on here. Do you get off on being horrible?

Spatchcock you should not tar everyone with the same brush. Just because trolls post doesn't mean this isn't a genuine situation. To go straight in with your one word passive aggressive post without even asking a question. You are terminally offended.

I will be emailing the safegaurding team at the school and hope they are able to do something about it.

Email the school, there will be reception staff picking up emails. Ask them for contact details for the safeguarding lead. DO NOT include any photos - what's wrong with you people suggesting that?! She's 15 for goodness sake!

If the safeguarding person needs to see the pics she can ask you for her insta handle.

Whatever you do. Don't screenshot. Or forward on the photos.

This incriminates you all sharing.

Her biological parents seem quite lazy about protecting their own child from the risks that social media can cause.
She has a high chance of being groomed or even seen as a piece of meat for the males at her school/those who see her photographs.
I would contact the school about the photographs of her in their uniform. They can then challenge said lazy parents.
She sounds lucky to have you in her life.

Even if you report this to the school how will they deal with it during lockdown? Is there anyone there to respond?

Lots of fathers find their daughters' sexuality a bit off -limits- for obvious reasons- and it could be he is embarrassed or unsure how to handle this. No excuse, I know, but he may simply not know how to engage with her on this issue.

Your SD clearly has some issues- most possibly insecurity- if she feels the need to flaunt herself like this- it's tantamount to porn and she needs to be made aware of how she looks.

Welcome to mumsnet OP.

No I don’t “get off” on being horrible (what a gross expression).

I will however, out of the kindness of my heart give you a little heads-up. Your original post contained way too much lurid and unnecessary detail. You could have just written “my SD has been posting photos of herself which are really unsuitable for a 15 year old, I’m worried about her, what should I do” without all the graphic and prurient detail.

I can see I was wrong in suggesting she send the pics to the school.

What I don't get is people suspecting that this is fake this will be really commonplace in this day and age, especially with young girls looking up to social media personalities who post these kinds of pictures and wanting to be like them.

It needs to be nipped in the bud and op is rightly concerned so seeking advice on what to do.
This place is odd sometimes

You would ‘kill to look like her’?! That’s so weird, she’s a child, your step daughter! Stop being jealous and let your dp know that her shots are fairly revealing.

Seriously? The OP doesn't sound in any way jealous. She's concerned about her stepdaughter, which is absolutely right.

The advice to contact the DSL at her school is sound. Follow it.

The other thing I'd be worrying about is the fact you're shacked up with Disney Dad - is this colouring your view of him? Not sure I could respect someone who didn't give a shit about his child's welfare to this degree. His Ex isn't your issue; he is. He is the person you live with, he is the person whose morals and values and principles you should be concerned with. I'd be cross about his unwillingness to get involved here; I'm 38 and I'm pretty sure if my dad came across stuff like this on Instagram now he'd give me a bollocking because it's what parents are meant to do, regardless of how uncomfortable they feel addressing the issues of their daughters sexuality.

OP stop getting offended by people being 'horrible'. This is a very sensitive topic posted by an anonymous stranger and could easily be a troll with sinister motives, so people here are right to be wary.

Assuming you are not of course, follow the great advice given already. Contact her mother, contact the school, and give her father the bollocking of his life.

ginger sausage if the caps fits! Gross expressions are your speciality how dare you be so horrible.

Get over yourself. There was nothing lurid about my post if you think there was you need to get to a psychiatrist as you have issues!

Schools are only physically closed to pupils. They are still running. My school office staff are all working from home forwarding emails on to the relevant people from the office email address. There will be a rota for safeguarding. There will almost certainly be staff on the premises looking after the younger kids who have key worker parents.

I assume that you will have spoken to your SD about the photo's, and probably not had a favourable reaction, as she probably thinks it's all ok,and that lots of girls do this now. It now seems the norm,to get attention, and show off your body.

I would speak to her, and ask why she is doing this, and tell her that it's tarty and cheapens her. It's sad that her Father seems unconcerned, because his daughter could end up doing more candid stuff on the net eventually.

I intend to follow the good advice given and I will contact the school. I really don't see why people have to be so unpleasant though. I am not a troll and as far as I know troll hunting is banned on here.

Its because I'm a step mum, if I was a worried auntie, grannie, or even mum there would be nothing horrible.

Apologies, I meant screen shot the photograph of her in uniform and send it to school (as I thought the OP was doing it anon; school need to be able to recognise her?).

Schools are definitely open for this. Safeguarding is a massive concern at the moment and if you get in touch with them and don’t act upon it, they are massively failing.

I’ve got friends who work in school offices and they are definitely reading emails and responding appropriately.

I’d definitely be concerned that her dad isn’t bothered though. Does he think it’s appropriate for middle aged men to be getting their kicks from his daughters pictures? Disgusting.

🤣🤣 I have psychiatric issues? You crack on love.

ginger sausage and you're talking about not being horrible?? Have you read your own posts. Sanctimonious moi??