how to be attractive at 35?

[Lilyamna]

I know that’s not old, and some women my age looks incredible, but in my case my looks are definitely on the ‘downward slope’. I feel like giving up on myself, because - what’s the point? I have furrows between my eyes and a wrinkled brow. Deep laughter lines around my eyes, my cheeks are flattening, my face is getting longer and and I’ve got those wrinkles running from my nose to my mouth. My hair is thinner than it used to be and some greys are appearing. I’m getting fatter- I’m no heavier according to the scales, but a definite tummy is appearing. I just don’t feel attractive any more. I could make more effort with my appearance, but I just get upset that no amount of makeup can hide the wrinkles and change of face and body shape. You can’t polish a turd, as they say.

I am single and happily so ... but I do miss that feeling of being attractive to men. I don’t get ‘looks’ any more, and it’s depressing. It’s like I was happy to be single when I knew I could get a man if I wanted. Now I’m not sure I could at all, and I suddenly feel like I’m on the reject pile.

This is all very self-pitying, I know, and I can think of lots of women with wrinkles and grey hair who are stunning. But I don’t know how they do it? Are they just lucky to have a good bone structure or is there something in their attitude? What is that something that keeps women attractive after their physical peak?
Thank you!

As others have said, retinol at night and vitamin C serum in the day.

However, there are tips and tricks to get the most out of your skincare-

Double cleanse at night, not just to avoid breakouts, but to remove free radicals which age the skin. Plugged up pores can't absorb all your skincare, and you want the maximum product penetration. Sonic face brushes are a good device to invest in for deep cleansing, some of them also have the added benefit of a massage mode to help with product penetration.

Product penetration can also be achieved with facial massage - loads of youtube videos on this. Also jade or rose quartz facial rollers are another good method, with the added benefit of lymphatic drainage and de-puffing.

Nuface is a wonderful device that gives you a noticeable instant lift to the face and neck. It sends microcurrent into the muscles and re-trains them. Plus you re-charge the cells of your skin with ATP

I’m 46 and got asked for ID buying A bottle of wine earlier this year at Sainsbury ! Power of low carb diet and lots of water!

Be funny. Have a few interests that make you light up. Take an interest in what makes other people tick too.

Bit of excercise regularly, something that you enjoy and makes you happy.

Decent diet and lots of water. But let yourself off the leash every now and then.

Find your own style, what suits you and what you like.

For God's sake don't get your eyebrows done with a £70 Groupon voucher! It's a semi permanent tattoo ON YOUR FACE. You get what you pay for. I'm in a northern city and all the reputable places charge £300 up for your first time, then your yearly/two yearly tops up range between £100 and £200.

Oh I have one more tip! It's a bit of a controversial one and is of course very subjective, but I think there is a universally youthful and flattering makeup look, that is, light coverage yellow based foundation, lightly defined satin finish lips in a natural warm running colour, defined lashes and lash line, and mascara'd (or otherwise naturally filled in) brows.

No eyeshadows. No contour unless you are an expert at it and only use it in a "sunkissed" way rather than a contoury way. No heavy setting powder or flat matte finishes. Perhaps a sweep of peach toned blush. Literally everyone looks good with that makeup for an every day look!

What’s a “running colour”?

It really isn't about lines and wrinkles @Lilyamna or even 'looking young', they're both rubbish things to set your store by. Youth is fleeting, luminous, and joyful but has nothing beyond the simple fact of not having lived as long. What's to love? Being born and alive are great, but being alive longer is even better.

I don't buy into the cult of youth. I always post photos on S&B threads about 'how old do I look', not because I want to be told I look young but because I look my age and am very happy with it.

My heroine is Patti Smith who looks every inch her age and she's wonderful. She doesn't try and look 'young', there's no real value in looking young. It only has value if nothing else does. Patina and wisdom are so much more attractive than a perfect glaze.

Men absolutely agonise over this. It's all they ever talk about in the pub or at the footy.

And because I always do post a picture of myself, here it is, I turned 47 last week. I obviously don't do botox or dye my hair or any other things that would 'make you look younger', I don't think looking young is great.

I think looking like yourself and being happy and confident with that is best.

I’ll be 35 this year and I think I still look fairly young.

I’m definitely fatter than I was in my 20s, only the difference between a 10 and a 12 and probably just over a stone in actual weight, so not a huge gain, but noticeable.

I’m lucky that I don’t have any wrinkles on my brow, a few laughter lines, but so has everyone else over about 28. I’m also quite baby faced, which I guess is just natural luck.

I use Lidl £1.99 anti wrinkle cream, which I’ve probably been using for the best part of 10 years, seems to be working, so I’ll stick with it. I’m not sure if expensive brands work better as I’m far to cheap to even try them!

My advice would be, don’t loose too much weight, you need a bit of flesh to plump your skin up and don’t coat yourself in make up, I find it ages people. I only wear mascara day to day and my skin is so much better for it.

I’m lucky I don’t have any grey hairs yet, but when I get them I’ll be dying my hair, I don’t feel ready for greys!

I have also been asked for ID a couple of times recently, which makes me happy.

I’m sure that at 35 OP you can’t be as haggard as you’re making out. I’m sure you’re still attractive, you need to work on your confidence.

I don’t think I’m past my peak now at 42! I met my husband at 35-he proposed within 4 months so clearly he thought I was ok!

I don’t and never have spent money on beauty treatments etc. wear little make up etc.

I do have ok skin and relatively few wrinkles though. I think the main thing is being happy -that’s what makes people look good. It sort of shines. Sad people look old.

The rest of it (hair, clothes, make up) is just bollocks!

@opticaldelusion

Men absolutely agonise over this. It's all they ever talk about in the pub or at the footy.

I did laugh at this, you're right really, but I do think they talk about getting fat and bald!

To be attractive at 47 you have to have been attractive to start with!!

I follow a few older women on youtube and they are beautiful. And they were all beatiful to start with.

So there's that.

I’ve just turned 35 and feel like i’m only just getting started!

I’ve put a bit of weight on after having the baby, so my focus at the minute is to get my pre baby body back. I don’t think that makes me look any younger, but it makes me feel so much better. I’m hoping in a couple of months I can be back to pre baby weight.

I dress “young” I suppose. I enjoy fashion, I like to look trendy, and I think that helps.

I get my hair dyed. I’m naturally very dark and I went grey at 24, so I have to keep up with sorting my roots out. It makes me feel fresher, younger and happier.

I do get botox, and also filler under my eyes. Botox doesn’t make me look any younger, just fresher. Tear trough filler does make me look younger. I swear by it.

Good skincare is probably the most important. I swear by Hyaluronic acid for healthy, plumped skin.
You don’t need to spend a fortune on products. Just ensure you cleanse AM and PM, some Vit C serum in the AM, topped with moisturiser and most importantly SPF.
PM I recommend misting your face after cleansing (Vichy mineral spray £7) Then apply Hyaluronic acid (If you’re on a budget, the Inkey list do a nice one. Hada Labo is also a decent price and lasts ages) Mist again and then moisturise.

Here’s a no sleep (thanks DD), no make up, unbrushed hair selfie.
No oil painting, ageing (42), grey hairs showing but happy. I’m good with how I look, and it doesn’t cost me anything really

@ILikeyourHairyHands couldn’t agree with you more. And you look fabulous

I’m nearly 40 and look better now than I have since my early 20’s.
I lost quite a bit weight a few years ago and more recently have been exercising; Pilates, yoga and weight training. You don’t need money to change your body shape, there’s loads of free videos on you tube and Instagram. I’m fitter now than I have been for years and it has definitely been the biggest factor in me feeling attractive.
I also think get a good hair cut and colour that suits you, it makes a big difference.
I’ve been using retinol and vitamin c on my face as well as drinking loads of water and using factor 50 suncream. This has made a significant difference to how my skin looks and feels.
I go minimal with makeup as this looks best on me and I wear clothes that make me feel good.
I’m really happy in my life right now, happy and confident in my own skin and feel very lucky and I think this somehow shows in my appearance.

If you only change one thing I’d say exercise, it makes you feel good inside and out, your body will look better and your skin will glow.

Don’t have children. The end.

How to look good at 35?

Take a picture of yourself now and look at it when you’re 40, 45, 50, 60...

You’ll look fucking amazing at 35.

You can look good without spending a fortune, though my one indulgence is my hair colour.
Dress to suit your body shape, keep fit; yoga, running, eat well; I’m vegetarian don’t drink or smoke. Look after your skin; I use aloe vera gel twice per day cheap and effective.
Most importantly have a positive, young outlook.
I’m 48, my eldest DD is 27, nobody ever believes I have a child that age. I’m lucky to have decent genes where our family age well but most of it is down to attitude, I still
think I’m 35!!

@Naithnira yeh, I'd say you are on to one of the biggest elixirs of youth there!

True @SliAnCroix.

BUT, attractiveness at any age is nothing without knowledge. About feeling good about yourself.

There's @Megan2018 with her daughter, looking beautiful and feeling beautiful.

What's not to like about women who enjoy themselves?

You can feel great and feel full of wisdom and yet still not be attractive. Obviously everything on the thread is recommended for wellbeing and health reasons, but it is a myth that feeling good about yourself and being healthy automatically makes one attractive. It helps. It doesn't harm. But it 's not magic.

How to be attractive at 35? That's easy. Set your cap at an attractive older man. He will think you look beautiful, young and sexy and he would be right. You are at your peak now, even if you don't think so. You just have to discover it. And you will have a fabulous time.