To ask you which life you would choose?

[vinoelle]

Posting for traffic here, sorry. We are trying to make some big life decisions about our future and I'm interested in people's opinions about what they would do/ what's important to them and how they would choose.

Essentially we have the option of moving abroad to the Middle East, for a job that would pay a huge amount of money. Life changing money. It would enable us to be mortgage free/ upgrade to the dream home and send our future children to private school. The weather would also be better, we know people out there so would be with friends, and I wouldn't have to work. Currently pregnant with DC1 so wouldn't have to worry about going back to work and have an easier time for young baby/toddler years. Downsides are it's restrictive in terms of going out and about (couldn't pop to a cafe for example but who knows when that's normal again). And we wouldn't be near family. Would be for 2-5 years. Income approx £300k/year

The other option is DH takes a job here in U.K. we get to stay in our lovely home which we love, altho isn't particularly grand. (Could have better house with option 1). We would be near friends, and nearer to family but still 3 hours drive altho would see maybe once a month or so. I would have to keep my job - which I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or bad thing. It pays well and is be part time, but it is stressful. But I might end up hating being a SAHM and at least here would have the option to work, whereas in Middle East I'd be literally trapped at home, unable to leave without husband or work. Money would be good, comfortable, but not great. Probably wouldn't be able to afford private school and would have normal mortgage etc but would manage comfortably. Income £130k/year

Wwyd? (Btw I know we are lucky and both are great options - I'm not stealth boasting or trying to be a knob, so pls don't get offended).

I would stay. Also if I had my time again I would not have given up my career to be a sahm. Hang on to your own career if you can, you might find it important for your sense of worth and identify.

In the past I could have been tempted by option 1 but I have a little girl now, and I’m not sure I could move us somewhere where she is considered to be a second class citizen with less rights because of her gender

I think I’d go for option one for a couple of years for the experience and to be able to save a considerable amount of money. I’d keep the uk house and rent it out.

Option 1. Your mind is pretty much made up anyway. You'll always wonder how it would have been if you dont go. Good luck!

I’d def go for the Middle East option. You can have a better life style and secure a better future for your children in the long term! Think about the long term!

Whereabouts in the Middle East?

Dubai is very different to Saudi Arabia.

Option 2. Ive spent time in the middle east and I despised it. I found it horribly oppressive, mysogynistic, and just incredibly horrible.
Would never ever choose to live there.

Option 1 without a doubt, you will always regret not doing something.

Can he go without you? Even for a year would give your savings a nice boost.

Option 1- no brainier. Everyone knows expats have a great quality of life in the Middle East! Go for it!

I would take the love. Know others who've done it with kids and they seem really happy. Only problem is they tend not to one back at all because the lifestyle is a bit addictive.

Forgot to add, in this country to have a decent lifestyle (and especially in London And with kids) you need a ton of money. In the Middle East you can earn more and I believe it’s tax free which is an added bonus!
All the best with your decision!

In KSA you can go out without your husband and most women do! It’s utter nonsense that there is no mobility for women. You’re all reading stuff from ten years ago no doubt. Women can drive, go out without a male, vote, go to university - in fact there were recently more female graduates than male. You can also leave the country without a male if you are over 21

And they say satire is dead.

FFS autocorrect . Make the move I meant.

Depends on the
Country OP

If it’s Qatar or UAE maybe
Saudi or Kuwait , no way personally

It's not about you, OP - it's about your husband. Would he be able to tolerate living in a society in which women had a lesser status?

If he would - you shouldn't go.

Nothing would make me move to a country where I don't have rights. In all honestly I'd be in prison within a week, far too outspoken. If it were somewhere else, or if I were a man, I'd jump at the chance, but I couldn't be submissive enough to live somewhere that I'd be a second class citizen.

I'd go for it 110%.

Everyone knows expats have a great quality of life in the Middle East!

I beg to differ.

If you can commit that's it's only for 3years I would do it. You can KIT with friends and family, same as you now. The aim is to save and earn and you will have time and home with no pressure. It's a no brainer in my opinion. We spent 7.5 years away in the Middle East and have slotted back to UK life like we have never left.

I'd be on the way to the airport already.

What a great opportunity to experience a different culture/lifestyle for what is actually not very long (3-5 years). It will soon pass. Plenty of flights back to visit family etc. (in the summer), you'll be set up financially and will gain a whole new perspective on the world. If you're not mad about it you can spend your time at the pool/beach, or come back. The food out there is great, and you can easily nip over to Thailand, Malaysia, Maldives etc. for breaks.

I like the atmosphere of the ME; it's different for sure and their ideas are far more traditional than those currently in vogue in the west, but this is the way the world is.

Option 2, always. Your independence, freedom and happiness matters. £130k is a substantial amount of money and your family would still have a wonderful life.

If someone on here posted about moving to the UK, you'd immediately say that it's so varied, can't give advice until you know exactly where etc.
And yet, when someone posts about living in the Middle East, a huge region made up of hundreds of millions of people and over 20 countries, suddenly everyone is happy to speak about it as if it's a monolithic entity. Just amazing. I really hope some of you can reflect on the prejudices this reveals. And for those who've lived in the 'Middle East', unless you've lived in every single place within it, can you not see that it doesn't give you authority to speak about every town/city/country within it? If I said living in London is the same as living in rural Cumbria, I'd be laughed at, yet people commenting on the basis of having lived in Dubai and then extrapolating that to an entire region is seen as okay. Jordan is not the same as Lebanon. KSA is not the same as Oman. Each have different cultures, societal norms, religious sects and governmental structures - why is this so difficult to appreciate?

I would choose Option 1 in your shoes, focus on baby, health, rest and wellbeing for a few years. Enjoy weather and a different way of life.

There will be restrictions but those are not for ever.

The financial security is huge too, particularly in the situation we find ourselves now.

Go..!!

It entirely depends on where in the Middle East.

Saudi? Not in a million years.

Emirates? Tomorrow.