To really wish the woman in the pharmacy had not done this

[iwantavuvezela]

I had to make a trip to fetch medication for my DH who is undergoing treatment for cancer. I was feeling very stressed due to seeing him so very ill and managing his pain, not eating that I burst out crying whilst speaking to the women serving me. I think with self isolation and dealing with this I don’t often say the words aloud about his condition and it floored me.
She kindly showed me to a chair where I could sit - all good.

Then she sits down next to me and gives me a hug! Saying don’t worry I don’t have the virus, I just need to give you a hug.

I have avoided all unnecessary contact for so many weeks and although I appreciate the sentiment and know she was reaching out to me, I am annoyed that she breached the rules of contact knowing I have a very vulnerable person at home.

I would hate to be hugged by a stranger, whatever the circumstance.

No doubt she meant well but if she’s doing that half a dozen times a day/week, she’s a danger. Needs to be pointed out to her manager that some retraining is in order. (Seat should be cleaned between customers too).

Very sorry that you’re going through such a distressing time.

I doubt she is doing it that much of at all. I would imagine most customers aren’t distressed/in tears.

I don’t think you should complain about someone for trying to be kind, even if their actions were a bit misguided.

That’s not to say you’re being unreasonable for being upset or stressed about it, of course that’s completely understandable.

You could have, (I would have), left the shop immediately rather than sob in her shop in front of everyone. That way no-one would have been put in a awkward situation. Should she have left you sobbing (on the pharmacy chair) and coolly served everyone else?

It is awful for you but most people are seriosuly struggling in this situation. My friend who is a dispenser in a small pharmacy has been working fourteen hour shifts, on her feet, with ill people, rude people, entitled people, ("Yes but I need my....) - She is at breaking point! She comes home at night with marks on her face from the mask and absolutely wrung out with exhaustion. Her parents are both in a care home and her husband is a NHS worker.

Everyone thinks they are the only one struggling.

If you report her it won't help you and it won't help anyone else either. She is unlikely to do it again. (Did you protest at the time? Does she know you are unhappy about it?)

And one hug is unlikely to make a huge difference. (I suggest you have everythig delivered from now onwards = for your own peace of mnd)

Sorry - that sounded very unsympathetic OP - sorry to hear about your DP. Don't worry - the hug is unlikely to have made a difference. (And I saw later that you don't want to complain but I also see that so many do/would). We actually live in very censorious times

"I don’t think you should complain about someone for trying to be kind, even if their actions were a bit misguided"

The OP has stated several times that she has no interest in complaining and mentioned it nowhere in her original post.

This has been brought up time and time again.

@cunningartificer I wasn’t talking about this specific incident, just that in general there is a very complain heavy culture on MN and little thought is given to the strain it might put on staff.

Some utter arse**les on here

I know the OP isn't going to complain, and she obviously shouldn't feel under any obligation, but I'm genuinely not getting the problem with complaining. It's not like being a dick in a restaurant because your soup is cold. The woman literally thought it was fine for her to hug a customer with a vulnerable family member because she feels certain she doesn't have the virus. That suggests a huge lack of understanding that this disease is asymptomatic but contagious for long periods. Given that she works in a pharmacy - where there will be lots of vulnerable people and their families - I think that this lack of understanding is pretty worrying. No one wants to get her in trouble, but wouldn't it be better if someone pointed out to her that social distancing rules apply even if you don't feel sick?

pinkginhelps thank you for that - I might even have giggled aloud. If I could grab a vuvezela, and go and find a small mound and blow blow blow I think that would be an excellent release!

Thanks to everyone for your answers, I’ve read them all, I think I might have got a tad defensive over the to “ complain or not complain” (as this had not even entered my mind as an option when I write the post) but I see now that this was in the general debate of everyone and views brought up and not aimed at me.

I think it was also interesting how as humans we are programmed to reach out to someone In distress (I only had a little cry, not outward howling and was composed when sitting on the chair), but I think my own anxiety and stress were obviously visible. I acknowledge that I put the person serving me in a difficult position of what to do. This post is written only in the context of the swirling pandemic (and how it has made the normal now not)

I will look into getting meds collected for me, and and am taking on the advice that so many of you gave.

@Iwant entirely my pleasure. I hope you heard my horn.