To really wish the woman in the pharmacy had not done this

[iwantavuvezela]

I had to make a trip to fetch medication for my DH who is undergoing treatment for cancer. I was feeling very stressed due to seeing him so very ill and managing his pain, not eating that I burst out crying whilst speaking to the women serving me. I think with self isolation and dealing with this I don’t often say the words aloud about his condition and it floored me.
She kindly showed me to a chair where I could sit - all good.

Then she sits down next to me and gives me a hug! Saying don’t worry I don’t have the virus, I just need to give you a hug.

I have avoided all unnecessary contact for so many weeks and although I appreciate the sentiment and know she was reaching out to me, I am annoyed that she breached the rules of contact knowing I have a very vulnerable person at home.

Wow. Yeah definitely put in a complaint about her, what was the soppy cow thinking? Oh look there's a human being struggling so I'll do what comes naturally and try to comfort her. Selfish bitch.

Really?! A complaint? The lady showed a moment of kindness when you were feeling particularly low. It’s so easy to forget we should be acting different especially when you see someone so upset. Let it go

I wouldn't complain about her. God love her, as a PP said she's probably been kicking herself about it all day. I know you're stressed and upset OP, but it's a sorry pass we've come to if we're going to get each other in trouble for extending a bit of human kindness.

I'd be furious in your position.
After being so careful for so long. What on earth was she thinking? I can't believe so many people think this is okay too.

Don't complain.

And people with the virus should not be going into pharmacies - if they have the virus someone will be collecting their prescriptions for them. If they are ill with something else, what's the difference to normal times?

I actually expected to read about them being cold and unfeeling
God, these poor girls just can't win! You should have been isolating yourself and made other arrangements for prescriptions to be collected? I have been through cancer treatment process and no way would someone living with me been out in public.

dartmoorchef thank you for the recommendation- I will definitely try those

Please, for the last time, I have never mentioned a complaint, making a complaint or asking advice if I should make a complaint - read perhaps my post and subsequent posts to clarify.

You must be under massive strain - and i wish your husband all the best in the world. Don't complain about this poor woman who was only trying to help. Bit like kicking a kitten into a fucking river really. She was trying to show you some compassion - please offer her the same grace and just leave it and stand well back from her next time or get your DH's meds delivered if possible.

OP has clearly said she is not going to complain and just wanted to off load so can people stop berating her
OP, you are in an awful situation and it's VERY understandable that you were upset by what she did, people seem to be missing that you have been self isolating for weeks, and this woman's actions could have completely undone all that effort (I really hope not, and on balance it's probably unlikely...but that's not much comfort)

But, as to the pharmacy assistant what she did was dangerous and needs correcting. As someone said, her action was more about her than about OP- 'I just needed to give you a hug'- in other words, she felt uncomfortable witnessing OP's distress and giving the hug was about her OWN discomfort. If she had truly been putting herself in OP's position she would have seen that a hug was going to make things worse, not better. It's perfectly possible to show compassion and keep both parties safe, if you think about what you are doiing and act with professionalism, not just on instinct.

So sorry for your troubles OP. I'd have become quite anxious in the same situation. Hopefully will be fine.

I think those who are still working in non-NHS key roles may sometimes simply forget in the moment, not saying she was right but she acted on human instinct. I maybe would say something to her but I wouldn’t put in an official complaint for that reason alone.

I hope you’re ok and best wishes to your husband.

YANBU at all- she could really harm people. I would write a letter to the manager/company actually. You can say you appreciated the sentiment but were concerned by what she did.

Please don’t complain
Empathy took over here

Please don’t complain about her OP. She just did what came naturally in these unnatural times. I doubt she hugs everyone that she serves but she obviously saw that you were upset.
I’m so sorry you and your DH are going through such a rough time 💐.

OP- I am sure that a lot of people DID read your post carefully.

But that doesn't stop us/ them suggesting you speak to the managing pharmacist.

His/ her staff will have received training on how to deal with the virus when at work.

For the sake of other customers who might receive a hug as you did, you owe it to them to alert her manager so she can be at least made aware of her actions.

I completely understand your anger and distress: I too am 'shielding' a vulnerable DH.

But someone's kindness could have serious consequences and surely you see that she ought to be made aware of the possible effect of her actions on others?

Please don't complain! Jesus ...

If you want, you could send her a note to the store: 'whilst I appreciated your kindness at the time, I can't help but feel that a hug overstepped the boundaries of what is currently acceptable. I'd hate for someone to put in a complaint ...' blah blah.
Will make her rethink her actions without getting the sack!

Sorry OP, have just seen that you don't intend to complain.

I wish people would RTFT.
OP has never said she wants to complain - other posters have suggested it and OP has confirmed she has NO intention of complaining.
OP - sending virtual hugs.. It's good to vent here. You're not wrong and I'd have been worried and upset, too. Def aim for meds to be delivered so you're not in this unfortunate position again. The lady was clearly showing a basic human instinct to care but this was not the right time. Best wishes.

She shouldn't have hugged you but I wouldn't complain.

Some people on here are really vindictive wow what a horrible world we live in no wonder why kind people are to find.
It's because they've all been kicked for being kind

I'm so sorry your husband is so unwell. I hope he's better as soon as possible.

It sounds like the sort of thing I'd potentially do - it's been so ingrained into me that there are certain practises for certain situations - I hate randoms touching me but out of reflex I still put my hand out for shaking (good thing I don't leave home now).

If it had been me in her shoes, if probably be laying here awake worrying about it.

OP (I'll skip over the above rights or wrongs).

What is the plan for next time you need to get medication? Do you have a Macmillan nurse? Can you link into the army of NHS volunteers or local groups to collect the medication?

Please ask for help/get referred to people that can help (or maybe my county is just awash with volunteers)?

Personally I wouldn’t complain, she did something she believed at the time was the decent thing to do, for getting the current situation. If your worried try to isolate away from your husband if your home is big enough

Try to let it go, it's happened now. I'm really sorry for your situation, OP.

Should we be reporting people for acting on a human impulse though? She shouldn't have done that, of course she shouldn't, but I don't agree she was putting her own needs first. She felt compassion for the OP.