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AIBU?

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Original poster

Prison officer neighbour having different people visit her house

215 replies

allinboxes · 20/04/2020 15:36

Hello, Advice please, but she is doing my head in.

I have already reported this neighbour to the police last Monday as she has had her family round, her boyfriend who doesn't live with her and now for the last week her friend is round her house everyday using the her gym in the garage. shes not hiding anything either its in full view of other people walking past and other neighbours.

Do I report her again to the police?

OP posts:
Nelliana · 21/04/2020 00:49

It's not comparable and you're spouting bollocks

Maybe you should learn about history a little more before accusing others of spouting bollocks.

Itsabitmessy · 21/04/2020 00:52

I don’t believe people are gleefully reporting anyone right now. I believe people are rightly fearful and when they see people wilfully defying the rules put in place to save lives and keep hospital admissions manageable, they are frustrated and angry as well as frightened. I wonder why some just don’t feel the rules apply to them? It is very clear now what is and isn’t safe or worth the risk. It’s obviously still risky to go into someone else’s home but if that person needs personal care or medical attention or supervision in order to remain safe, then the need has to come before the risk. When I see my neighbour totally disregarding the lockdown and having her friends round and her young nephews and nieces for sleepovers, I feel angry. If I were to report her the last thing I’d feel is bloody gleeful I can assure you.

Nelliana · 21/04/2020 00:55

I don’t believe people are gleefully reporting anyone right now

Oh I think some certainly get a certain something from it, without a doubt.

Itsabitmessy · 21/04/2020 01:01

My family lived and died through that particular period of history and I absolutely refute that the words snitch, gleeful, grass, busybody can or should be applied to the current situation. You can not compare racist propaganda fed to an entire nation with a very reasonable instruction to everyone wherever possible to stay at home to stem the tide of contagion. Those who refuse to follow the very clear, simple and rational instructions and by extension sabotage the whole exercise, should be reported for breaking the very law put in place to save their sodding lives.

saraclara · 21/04/2020 01:01

It's okay to be annoyed. It's not okay to report her to the police.

The police are concerned about groups of people meeting up.. Not neighbours having occasional visitors. The latter isn't good (I'm not doing it and nor is anyone I know). But it's not what the police are bothered about.

Nelliana · 21/04/2020 01:04

My family lived and died through that particular period of history and I absolutely refute that the words snitch, gleeful, grass, busybody can or should be applied to the current situation

So did mine. 🤷‍♀️ Refute all you want. Or, alternatively go and learn about it.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 21/04/2020 01:18

Sooo many sticky beak snitches on here
Bloody hell, how old are you - 9?

As for the Jewish comparison made above, just fucking ridiculous and offensive .

OP, you did the right thing, now try not to obsess over it, just concentrate on protecting yourself. And I suspect at least half of those criticising you aren't keeping to social distancing themselves, which is why they think what your neighbour is doing is ok.

RoomOfRequirement · 21/04/2020 01:29

I think you need to cut her some slack.

And I say that while also believing it is selfish and awful to still be going on unnecessarily and I dont think she is in the right at all, so I don't want you to conflate these 2 things.

That all being said, it is really tough to be a key worker right now. Especially, as you say, in a place with high rate of Covid. Even in this very thread people are posting 'Stay at home' 'Keep everyone safe at home!'. And I think it's easy to forget that we as key workers do not have that choice. It's really depressing and demoralising to keep hearing about how unsafe it is to go out (and it is, I know) but then still be expected to go out and do just that. Often for little money.

Everyone is talking about how awful it is to be quarantined just 'stuck at home' but I actually think it's worse to be expected to stay at home unless you're at work. I don't like my (NHS) job, but its necessary and pays the bills. That said my mental health is struggling when I am still expected to do that, with the added danger to my and my families health, while hearing about how deadly the outside is, and then not being able to do any of the things I enjoy that make work worthwhile.

Again, I am not saying she is right, I'm just trying to offer a different perspective before you judge her as being satan.

avamiah · 21/04/2020 01:36

You have reported her to the Police once already so just leave it now as it’s not your problem .
Let the police deal with it.

YE420032c · 21/04/2020 02:53

I hate snitches and tattletales. Get a life.

Ponoka7 · 21/04/2020 03:04

Now we have this ethos on 'report, report, report', after this child abuse/neglect and domestic abuse should drop surely, because of a willingness to report, even if it's just to the school. But i should imagine that people will start to ignore once again.

You can see how easily religions can take hold, especially those that use physical punishments. The witch trials are indeed alive and kicking.

LagunaBubbles · 21/04/2020 07:32

I hate snitches and tattletales. Get a life

I hate people that aren't following the guidelines. That will contribute to people losing their lives. Including health and social care staff.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 21/04/2020 08:10

laguna
There’s no point talking to these idiots.
I don’t mean people saying don’t report Because it’s not worth it for the OPs sanity or because it’s not a big enough issue for by the police to deal with with limited resources.
Just the people mindlessly calling ‘snitch’ and throwing out the offensive Nazi and Stasi rubbish. Perhaps they’ll think differently if relatives of theirs die of the virus or perhaps they’ll be too stupid to realise the link with major breaches being ignored and possible whistle blowers being shamed for giving a shit.

Biker47 · 21/04/2020 08:17

Report her to her employers.

wanderings · 21/04/2020 08:25

I just want life to return to how it was as soon as possible
In this case, I think we should all be putting pressure on the government, not wasting our energy on our neighbours. The government appear to have the majority of the public on their side for now, but I think even they are aware this won't last as people get fed up of watching their money disappear. While we're busy snitching on our neighbours, I think that tells the government "the little people are not scrutinising us, they're nicely distracted, they're still with us at the moment, OK to keep lockdown in place, and not tell the proles anything". Make the government aware we are watching them.

Itsabitmessy · 21/04/2020 08:26

Smiley thank you. As a British Jew I find the Nazi comparisons offensive. Every family member who was unable to leave their village in Lithuania died. I would rather not lose any more relatives due to idiots not taking the current rules seriously. Nazis encouraging people to report their Jewish neighbours is NOT comparable to reporting people for breaking the regulations in place to stem a deadly virus. And to compare the two is fucking offensive. Do NOT tell me to learn about it. You are comparing two totally different situations. The psychology of reporting may bear some similarity but that is where this ends. Stop with the Nazi stuff. It’s offensive and wrong.

circusintown · 21/04/2020 11:04

@Nelliana just appears to have some kind of superiority complex. I wouldn't worry about it, offensive and uneducated and calling people nazis whilst telling them to go and learn about it Confused

I'm going to laugh rather than get offended.

Again, op please don't report her to her employer, they are terrible at the best of times, no good will come of it.

Nelliana · 21/04/2020 11:36

Nelliana just appears to have some kind of superiority complex. I wouldn't worry about it, offensive and uneducated and calling people nazis whilst telling them to go and learn about it

And again it still applies. As you clearly do need to learn about it and you clearly are unable to understand the nuances of it. Do point out where I called people a Nazi. Oh wait, you can't, because I didn't. And you clearly don't understand the history. Laugh away. Or get offended. I don't care which one you choose to do 🤷‍♂️ it's like the people who say they are a (insert whatever, black, white, disabled, Irish, Jewish, Christian, older, younger, gay, trans, straight, etc etc person, or alternatively they know someone who is one of these things) as if these attributes means they know all there is to know about a subject and only they and they alone are qualified to comment on it. Well here's a newsflash for you, they aren't.

circusintown · 21/04/2020 11:57

You do realise that your interpretation and understanding of it isn't necessarily that of everyone else don't you? As you are clearly Hmm so well informed and educated?

Embarrassing

Nelliana · 21/04/2020 12:07

You do realise that your interpretation and understanding of it isn't necessarily that of everyone else don't you

Gosh, are you saying that the majority are always correct circus? History does not agree with you. I rest my case....

circusintown · 21/04/2020 12:17

"I rest my case" Grin

No. No I'm not saying that. Clearly Wink

Sushi123 · 21/04/2020 12:28

I think you should report her. She is acting irresponsible and putting the health of other people at risk

Itsabitmessy · 21/04/2020 12:43

And you clearly do not understand the history

And you are still comparing two situations that are ridiculous to compare. How does reporting someone for ignoring the rules put in place to save your own life and that if others from a highly contagious virus with no cure to being encouraged to report someone because of their religion ?

LagunaBubbles · 21/04/2020 13:04

@Smileyaxolotl1

Thank you. I actually feel as if I'm living in some sort of parallel universe reading all this snitch, grass, tattle tale rubbish. People are dying. Lots of people are dying. Including people with no underlying health conditions. Over 105 health and social care workers have now died. The virus doesnt move by itself, it needs people. The guidelines are to slow the spread down and make sure the NHS can cope. People breaking the guidelines in any way are risking lives. It's not about punishing them either it's about getting them to stop. So I don't get all this nasty snitch stuff - do people really not care about people dying?

Moondust001 · 21/04/2020 13:19

Yes i am sat at my large window in chair for reasons I don't have to share with any of you.

No you don't. But I would suggest that you get a better hobby than training for the local branch of the Stasi.

BTW I let my near neighbours use the gym in my garage too. One at a time and on the condition that they sanitise. What the hell is wrong with being neighbourly in times like this? Although I am probably asking the wrong person that question.

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