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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Prison officer neighbour having different people visit her house

215 replies

allinboxes · 20/04/2020 15:36

Hello, Advice please, but she is doing my head in.

I have already reported this neighbour to the police last Monday as she has had her family round, her boyfriend who doesn't live with her and now for the last week her friend is round her house everyday using the her gym in the garage. shes not hiding anything either its in full view of other people walking past and other neighbours.

Do I report her again to the police?

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 20:54

It doesnt matter what the reason is, that's the point! There isn't a "good" reason. I wouldn't phone her employer but I would report her to the Police. Of course its selfish, she's putting others lives at risk, including her colleagues and the prisoners she's looking after and I actually can't believe anyone in their right mind would defend someone like this, its disgusting.
3 week old baby has it now, only hope they pull through.

Prison officer neighbour having different people visit her house
Nelliana · 20/04/2020 20:56

Nobody bothered the emergency services. Plenty people still grassing their neighbours in. Funny old world.

That really is so sad. And the evidence that someone is in real trouble right in front of their eyes. What the heck is wrong with people.

Nelliana · 20/04/2020 20:57

There isn't a "good" reason

Actually there are good reasons why someone may need to visit someone else. Which is why it is allowed under some circumstances.

backaftera2yearbreak · 20/04/2020 21:00

Exactly @Nelliana

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 21:01

Actually there are good reasons why someone may need to visit someone else. Which is why it is allowed under some circumstances

None of which will no doubt apply to this prison officer who is continuing to work in a prison. And yes obviously I don't know that for sure.

Sunshine1239 · 20/04/2020 21:02

DH is a prison officer

He’s in very close contact with 50/60 people a day

Chances are her bf and friends are people she works with in which case it makes no difference. Prisoner officers can’t keep 2 m distance at work

Itsabitmessy · 20/04/2020 21:07

Chances are her bf and friends are people she works with in which case it makes no difference. Prisoner officers can’t keep 2 m distance at work

And they just as easily might not be people she works with.

opticaldelusion · 20/04/2020 21:09

The police are apparently sick to death of snitching neighbours and have asked people to report breaches only when it's something significant like a mass gathering.

Itsabitmessy · 20/04/2020 21:13

I’m sure the police are fed up. Sounds like way too many people are flouting lockdown if they are overwhelmed with reports. There’s a lot of irresponsible, selfish and wilfully ignorant people out there.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 20/04/2020 21:13

I would imagine the police have better things to do than be called out for every minor infraction

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 21:13

opticaldelusion

Not here in Scotland they haven't , if you could provide a link to that I would be grateful. I'm kind of sick of dealing with dead patients and grieving relatives personally.

Nelliana · 20/04/2020 21:21

The police are apparently sick to death of snitching neighbours and have asked people to report breaches only when it's something significant like a mass gathering

I think they set up a special snitch email to report on didn't they, so the snitchers didn't block the main emergency numbers. I guess they can then safely ignore 90 percent of the snitch correspondence.

Nelliana · 20/04/2020 21:22

And they just as easily might not be people she works with.

Indeed. No one knows do they 😮

JustOneMoreStep · 20/04/2020 21:38

I think this reflects the problem at the very heart of British society, we (as a whole) lack a social conscience. I dont think people should be reporting others/neighbours because we simply do not understand other peoples circumstances. In the same way as the OP wasnt and shouldn't have needed to disclose personal circumstances we just dont know what others are going through. However, if we had a working social conscious it wouldn't be necessary to report because everyone would be doing what was needed of them for the greater good, instead of the 'me' culture that runs through society.

On balance I dont think we should report others because the risk of getting it wrong is high. The lockdown does appear to be working, even though a minority appear not to be taking heed. Just think, someone else on your street could be seeing your daily (keyworker) visit and getting just as hett up, meanwhile nurses tyres are being let down because someone thinks they are going out too often.

Incidentally, I dont think the comparison with reporting Jews is wholly inappropriate. Remember, most of those reports were made in good faith by people who either believed they were doing the right thing OR were simply terrified of the consequences. Do those themes not sound familiar?

Itsabitmessy · 20/04/2020 23:16

shall I report my neighbour” posts just somehow seems so reminiscent of the ‘report your Jewish neighbours to the gestapo’ to me

What a ridiculous and fallacious argument. The two are incomparable.

One was done with evil intent. The other is done out of a need to better manage a highly infectious and all too often deadly virus from running rampant.

Itsabitmessy · 20/04/2020 23:20

Just one more step. Again, a ridiculous argument. You cannot possibly compare reporting people for practising a religion to reporting those who are sabotaging attempts to stem the spread of a highly contagious and deadly virus.

RebelWhoWashesFor19Seconds · 20/04/2020 23:22

Mine works for a nursing home. Hasn't acted like lockdown even exists.

All I can do is hope she doesn't take covid-19 into the residents at any point.

Nelliana · 20/04/2020 23:26

The two are incomparable.

One was done with evil intent.

The psychology behind the two are actually very comparable. And intially reporting the Jewish neighbors wasn't done with evil intent. They could never have predicted what the final outcome would eventually turn out to be.

LastTrainEast · 20/04/2020 23:27

OP you don't know the full story so mind your own business. For example perhaps these are people who work together all day long and are all exposed anyway.

Buster72 you said "Police have no power to enter private dwellings or tell people not to have visitors" I don't know where you got your law degree but you should ask for a refund. The police can break up an illegal gathering anywhere it happens.

Amanduh · 20/04/2020 23:32

I’d report her too OP. Ignore the comment bingo where you will find the words ‘nazi, stasi, snitch’ all of which have already been covered in the thread I think!
It’s not snitching, it’s using bloody common sense that the rest of us have to do all day everyday to avoid the spread of a worldwide fucking pandemic and still on places like mumsnet you’re called a nazi if you want people to stop being sefish and irresponsible. She sounds like an idiot at the very least.

LastTrainEast · 20/04/2020 23:33

LagunaBubbles "To everyone who says it's none of someone's business care about what's actually going on? "

I am furious at the people making it harder for everyone else because they can't follow some simple rules, but reporting neighbours because you 'think' they are breaking them is NOT the answer. Like those who report benefit claimants you can't know the circumstances.

We've had people reporting and abusing NHS staff for being out too much

Runkle · 20/04/2020 23:34

For the job prison officers do and the shit they put up with if having a visitor or 2 under circumstances we don't know about I really couldn't get too angry about it.

Itsabitmessy · 21/04/2020 00:05

Nelliana whether the psychology behind the reporting is similar still doesn’t make the two situations comparable. Here there is a testable, highly infectious and often fatal virus for which there is no known cure. For the time being all we can do is try not to overwhelm the hospitals and keep deaths to a minimum. Those told report Jews were told they were evil, had taken their jobs, were the source of all the problems in society etc. The goal was to segregate, demonise and impoverish an ethnic minority on the grounds of their religious belief. The ultimate goal was obviously the final solution. You cannot possibly compare reporting people for practising a religion to reporting people for sabotaging a desperate attempt to control a deadly virus? As a British Jew whose grandparent’s shtetl in Lithuania was burned to the ground soon after they left the country, I still cannot compare the two situations.

Nelliana · 21/04/2020 00:24

whether the psychology behind the reporting is similar still doesn’t make the two situations comparable

Yes indeed I would not expect the final outcome to be the same. I already said that. I said the psychology behind the mentality of people who gleefully spy on their neighbours and report them were comparable. Which they are.

circusintown · 21/04/2020 00:35

"Gleefully" Jesus. It's not comparable and you're spouting bollocks

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