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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prison officer neighbour having different people visit her house

215 replies

allinboxes · 20/04/2020 15:36

Hello, Advice please, but she is doing my head in.

I have already reported this neighbour to the police last Monday as she has had her family round, her boyfriend who doesn't live with her and now for the last week her friend is round her house everyday using the her gym in the garage. shes not hiding anything either its in full view of other people walking past and other neighbours.

Do I report her again to the police?

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 20/04/2020 16:51

The reason I'm not supporting OP's rage is twofold-

  1. rage is bad for you. It really is. Makes you feel ill. You've reported, the rest is outside your control.
  1. We just don't know other people's situations.
The teens who are being criminally irresponsible, hanging out in groups- they are quite likely from homes with parents who can't give a monkey's what they are up to- maybe alcoholics, drug users, or married to someone that hates them and has started family no.2. The older person shopping who should be safely at home... could be recently widowed and really struggling to be alone.
Pinksunday1210 · 20/04/2020 16:52

Go and do something useful yourself OP instead of getting excited about reporting someone, jeez you’re like the school snitch

Dieu · 20/04/2020 16:52

@allinboxes

I'm sorry, I didn't know about your disability. These must be strange and lonely times for you. Thanks

Dieu · 20/04/2020 16:53

@ilovedjerrymore

Very sorry for your loss.

ilovedjerrymore · 20/04/2020 16:57

@Dieu thank you

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 16:58

It's the fault of the people who are breaking the rules in the first place! Not the fault of those who don't report

Of course it is. But sadly not everyone is following the guidelines. And so it keeps on spreading. I despise seeing words like "grass" "snitch" etc being used to. Its to help slow down the spread of this, I don't think some people care or understand despite what they say.

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 17:02

go and do something useful yourself OP instead of getting excited about reporting someone, jeez you’re like the school snitch

I wish there were more people like the OP willing to report others breaking the guidelines rather than you and them I might not have to watch so many people dying.

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 17:03

And reporting someone breaking the guidelines is far far more useful in this current situation to the NHS than calling people "snitches" on the internet.

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/04/2020 17:05

@LagunaBubbles how many people have you reported?

Dieu · 20/04/2020 17:05

Hmm, I do see your own point. I think I'm just too focused on my own life, if that makes sense. I'm a single mum to three, with a bunch of pets. And I'm like a counsellor to my best friend at the moment, as her health anxiety is through the roof with this. It's exhausting. I do care though, and was utterly infuriated to hear about a mutual friend, who had been flouting the rules big time. She is incredibly selfish though, and this will be the death knell to the friendship for me. I can't imagine reporting total strangers though. They're twats, of course, but I'd be worried about getting the wrong end of the stick, and getting someone into trouble unnecessarily. Plus, I have enough on currently. It's not selfish to ensure that you and your loved ones are ok.

TheGreatWave · 20/04/2020 17:10

The lockdown was to slow the spread, not stop it. There was a built in non compliance rate, people still need to catch it.

OP you can't control other people's behaviour and by watching them as you are it is only having a negative effect on you. Report them if you wish but as nothing happened last time it is unlikely to have the outcome that you desire and therefore the cycle will not be broken. Work on keeping yourself as safe as you can and leave others to worry about themselves.

Nelliana · 20/04/2020 17:20

Or come on here and have a go at someone who has genuine fears. You’re right, it certainly has brought out the worst in a lot of ppl. There’s a lot of bullies on here

And a lot of snitches too that want validating for their snitching. And then cry bully when they're not being validated. Stay in and worry about yourself. Not everyone else.

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 17:20

LagunaBubbles how many people have you reported?

One.

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 17:21

Stay in and worry about yourself. Not everyone else

Wish I could but I need to go to work and put myself and my family, including my asthmatic DH at risk because of other people.

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/04/2020 17:22

What was the outcome?

funnylittlefloozie · 20/04/2020 17:28

Prison officers can't practice social distancing at work anyway, and they dont have PPE available in normal locations, so she's putting herself on the line every time she goes to work, regardless of who comes round after work. If you have no need to associate with her, i would find a way to get her out of your head and move on.

LagunaBubbles · 20/04/2020 17:33

17:22vodkaredbullgirl

Apart from being visited by the Police I have no idea, but as long as the message sinks in that their behaviour is not only risking their own life but others to that's the main thing.

IHaveAMagicBean · 20/04/2020 17:35

I may bring the minority but seeing these “shall I report my neighbour” posts just somehow seems so reminiscent of the ‘report your Jewish neighbours to the gestapo’ to me.

If you are not mixing with anyone else isn’t that good enough for you? Let the covidiots find their own justice.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 20/04/2020 17:35

Probably feels she's putting herself at enough risk at work - and no one's out there saying 'lets clap for the prison officers'

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/04/2020 17:40

Exactly, it seems to be all about the NHS workers, what about the rest of us.

JigsawsAreCool · 20/04/2020 17:43

@allinboxes I'm not bulling you! My comment was agreeing with you Flowers I was sarcastically saying she can do what she likes as long as she claps the nhs as that's what seems to be happening in my neighbourhood, please have been having bouncy castle parties here with neighbours over.

Sorry if it read like I was being horrible to you I'm really not. Was trying to add support, clearly my sarcasm didnt come across, never mind got 12+ weeks to perfect my mn posting Grin

Take care

Smileyaxolotl1 · 20/04/2020 17:43

OP-
I agree with the posters who have said you’ve done what you can, try not to worry about it anymore.
Also totally in agreement with laguna and rufus , so fed up of people being so arrogant as to think laws don’t apply to them and finding constant ways to bend the guidelines and of others being called ‘snitches’ when they suggest they will report clear breaches.
Such an immature playground response to efforts to control the biggest pandemic for a century.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 20/04/2020 17:44

jigsaws I totally got your meaning. It made me smile.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 20/04/2020 17:46

i have
Oh yes it’s exactly the same isn’t it.
People reporting people in Britain to try to prevent deaths and stop a virus spreading and people reporting Jews in hiding sending them to their deaths in the gas chambers.
What an idiotic offensive post.

poppyseedsandlemon · 20/04/2020 17:48

I get it but I think OP you sound very bitter.
Don't be so quick to judge her.
You sound awful