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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu..boyfriend stuff in lock down

197 replies

Yetanothernamechange1234 · 19/04/2020 03:49

Am I being a dick? My bf is nor my daughters father. He has 2 kids he barely sees (one night a week usually but only 1 hour a week now with lock down) hes grumpy I'm spending all my time teaching my daughter. I also cook him big breakfast everyday and cook dinner every night. Am I being unreasonable to want some help? All.he does everyday is watch tv, doesnt help with cleaning or washing up. He doesnt ever brush his teeth and wears sane socks for a week despite having clean ones.

OP posts:
bettybattenburg · 19/04/2020 03:58

He should be doing the cooking and/or washing up half of the time

HollaHolla · 19/04/2020 04:05

He sounds like a complete cocklodger. Get rid.

penisbeakers · 19/04/2020 04:06

Kick him out. What a twat.

user1473878824 · 19/04/2020 04:13

Cocklodger. He can go back home. He’s grumpy your spending time with your child? Red flag. He rarely sees his? Biggest red flag. He sits there doing nothing and gets annoyed that you are? Big on fire red flag.

I’m a step parent - I will have lots of people telling me I’m not because we had to cancel our wedding because of lockdown, but for the past four years I have been essentially step parenting so whatever - my DP’s son will be with us next week. And he will do school work with him and so will I. As far as I’m concerned, that’s what you sign up for when you go out with someone with a child. What I will not do is get pissed off with DP for spending time doing that and not with me. Because that’s INSANE.

Dump him. He’s shown you who he is.

Selfsettling3 · 19/04/2020 04:13

No you don’t want a partner who ‘helps’. My nearly 4 year old is good at helping. You want an adult who will take his equal share of the household responsibilities.

Purpleartichoke · 19/04/2020 04:17

It is reasonable for him not to help with your daughter, but he isn’t doing the work for his own care. That is a huge problem.

Add in someone who only sees his children once a week. Unless his ex has an army of solicitors and a vendetta, that custody schedule alone is a huge red flag.

artistformerlyknownas · 19/04/2020 04:24

He doesn't brush his teeth?? He'd be out the door quicker than he could say gingivitis

justilou1 · 19/04/2020 04:25

Bleurgh! He sounds like a mould, not a person!

JazzyTheDog · 19/04/2020 04:58

He’s a waste of space, advertise him on your local Facebook sites, free to a good home.

JustinMyJustin · 19/04/2020 05:29

He doesn’t brush his teeth?
Kick him out. He’s a lazy, unhygienic arse and a bad father to boot. What’s the actual point of him?

Oysterbabe · 19/04/2020 05:41

Gross. He'd have been out long ago.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 19/04/2020 05:45

No you don’t want a partner who ‘helps’. My nearly 4 year old is good at helping. You want an adult who will take his equal share of the household responsibilities.

This!

MrsAJ27 · 19/04/2020 05:51

Seriously....WHY????

Techway · 19/04/2020 05:53

Why would you think this is reasonable? You deserve much more than this.

He is also robbing you of quality time with your daughter as you have extra work by him being there.

How long have you lived together?

Bringringbring12 · 19/04/2020 05:54

Gross just gross that you are allowing this man around yours daughters

Peppafrig · 19/04/2020 05:55

Same socks for a week and doesn't brush his teeth. What a catch . Get rid of him OP it will only get worse .

HoppingPavlova · 19/04/2020 06:00

What do you actually see in him?

RandomSelection · 19/04/2020 06:10

You don't have a boyfriend, you have a rather revolting teenager.... Do you kiss him? Envy not envy!

Seriously though, I wouldn't expect him to help with the schooling but I wouldn't expect him to resent it either. And if he won't wash up, then don't cook him his breakfast and dinner? If he won't wear clean socks or brush his teeth then he sleeps on the couch. He's gross! What are his good qualities?

Ineedabreak19 · 19/04/2020 06:24

Get rid of him and set a good example for your daughter that women don't have to waste their lives on shit like him.

Ineedabreak19 · 19/04/2020 06:28

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php

Do the freedom programme to help you recognise the red flags in future relationships. If its not working for you then get rid him, it doesn't matter what he wants. If you stay with him then you're showing your dd that you're worth only 2nd best.

Kittykat93 · 19/04/2020 06:46

Ew he sounds vile. Why are you sleeping in the same bed as a man who doesn't brush his teeth or have clean underwear on? It's disgusting. And he's also a lazy selfish pig. Your choice though op! Jesus christ...

JingsMahBucket · 19/04/2020 06:54

Kick him the fuck out. This will only get worse. He’s likely to escalate hostile behaviour too. He’s bloody useless.

miccymaccy · 19/04/2020 07:00

Be a role model for your daughter - would you want her shacking up with a man like this in her future? Doubt it.

Pippinsqueak · 19/04/2020 07:01

Set your standards higher than an unwashed, unkept, lazy dead beat dad

What kind of example is that setting to your daughter

HowFurloughCanYouGo · 19/04/2020 07:02

Doesn't brush his teeth or change his socks?

Does he expect sex?!

I'd be kicking him out, smelly man child