Irritated, irritable and irritating. AIBU to be tolerant in RL and tell them to get fucked on this thread.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

IABU. Unreasonable and I know it.

I am just so fucking irritated at the moment. Everything is grinding my gears. DD's constant fucking exercising, DS leaving his shit everywhere, DH's following me around and just fucking breathing everywhere.
I am being a model of kindness and tolerance but I do wish every bastard one of them would fuck off.

And face timing my DGM97 every day at exactly 6pm to watch her slowly lose her shit (she's been in lockdown for 6 weeks already) and become unkempt is horrendous. Arguing with her for hours about politics (she lives for these debates and asks for robust challenging - good for her mh she says) is exhausting. I just want to lie down, I don't care what Mark fucking Steel is saying today - he can get fucked too.

My mean GD97 who has been living in isolation for 40 years and never wanted a visit or call but suddenly needs the warmth and kindness of his family - well the women in his family, and I am especially sought after as the busiest person. Fuck you mean old man, you are alone for a reason! you made your miserable lonely bed now lie in it!

My normally sane DM is in full lunatic mode, needing constant love and reassurance, leave me alone! I am your child! What about me! Why not rind one of my many bastarding twat brothers. And stop cooking for 12-18 people - there are only 2 of you there - that's why you're getting so fat - not stress hormones.

My tribe of idiot brothers who all refused to accept there was any problem and spouted full Trump rhetoric until my DGM's neighbour died and then had massive mantrums demanding I send them all food. Get fucked!
.
I love these people so very much. I also loved my small business and working, and being on my own a bit. I care so much, but I want a break and a vent. So here, in the safety of MN, I will tell them all to get fucked.

Thank you, I feel so much better now.

My younger sister moved in with me. Just before lockdown hit. OmDAYSSSSSS she is a massive twat, which I somehow forgot. She's living rent free, so quit her good job because she decided she was bad at it - like I said a TWAT! who quits a good professional job that she was doing Working from home?! Just as the jobs market is going to shit and the economy is going bust again.FFS!!!!
So now she's doing nothing, is she holding up to her bargin of living rent free, so that I can have some help with the kids?! IS SHE FUCK!!! she wakes up late, way after the kids. Takes zero initiative, have do ask her to do every fucking task - please could you brush the kids hair......could you brush their teeth......could you do fucking something.....anything?! HELP me out?! Even the basics. I was imagining I'd do the grunt work like usual and she's do all the nice stuff I never have time or energy for, like crafts with the kids or play pretend games. But no she's doing fuck all. Not read a single story, done zero of their night time routine. Spills drinks all over my carpet. Leaves rubbish around. I walk out a pristine room that I've made gleaming, and she's turned it to shit.
Right now, this second...she's watching dragrace and a friend has called and she's joking that she's done nothing all day. so she cant be completely oblivious , she just doesnt give a shit. So she'll get to live rent free, bills free, is pocketing a few thousand pounds cos her company put her on 'gardening leave' for her 3 month notice period. And I'll get shat on and keep crumbling into bad health and exhaustion, oh joy

This is what I've just bellowed at DH who has burnt our dinner despite me telling him that our oven runs hot and I could smell burning, "YOU ARE AS FUCKING USELESS AS YOUR FUCKING MOTHER, YOU BOTH THINK YOU CAN COOK, YOU BOTH WON'T BE TOLD AND NOW YOU'VE FUCKED MY DINNER! YOU CAN FUCK OFF!!"

I'm not sorry. I should be but I'm not.

Hellllllooooo lovely @ThumbWitchesAbroad!

And yes, yes, yes, to the fucking karchering! Dh and our neighbour did synchronised karchering yesterday, on the drives, and today they moved onto the patios. Actually, it’s not the karchering I object to - it is the hourly updates on his progress, where I am supposed to applaud and tell him how well he is doing.

But it is better than Isolation Obsessions No1 and No2 - to whit, his health, and whether or not he has had Covid-19. I used to be a nurse, and in my humble opinion, the fact that he has never had a high temperature, only coughed a couple of times and has not had any shortness of breath, means he hasn’t had it. But he ‘felt odd’ and his chest felt a little sore (although both these symptoms passed off if he went out for a walk with the dog - not entirely typical of Covid) - and for the first couple of weeks he had to give me an hourly run down of his (non) symptoms and ask me to feel his forehead and reassure him that he didn’t have a temperature. I confess that, after the millionth time of asking, the ‘feeling of the forehead’ started to be less a laying on of the hand, and developed significant ... impact!

I did warn him that he was running the risk of ending up in the enormous hole our other neighbours have dug, for the foundations of an extension. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a neatly wrapped corpse in there, would they?

His second (and continuing) obsession is the reporting of Covid statistics - are they right, if they are wrong, how wrong are they and why are they wrong, and do I think he should write to the Office of National Statistics again and tell them how wrong their statistics are - repeat ad nauseam. I rolled my eyes so hard at that last part that I swear I saw the inside of my skull!

You are definitely not being unreasonable...I LOVE the term “mantrums” - may I use it?!

Thai green sausage curry sounds - err - interesting, @wildflowersandweeds! I think you should make it for him and make him eat it.

Great thread. I lost it at DH yesterday as I'd made him a cup of tea and he said he wanted coffee after I'd made it. Seriously just drink the fucking tea and when did you last make me one! I ended up throwing the tea bag in the sink and storming out of the kitchen, not just finest moment!

Off to pour a glass of something alcoholic and fizzy now.

Does Amazon Prime deliver ram lambs to keep husbands busy? I’d like 4, I’m vegetarian so they’d be safe.

DH has taken to watching Only Fools and Horses from circa 1983, it’s quite uncomfortable to watch at times. He breathes while doing this.

I want to not be thinking about cooking or concocting recipes which use the food in the veg box. I want to not be worrying about DS’s education (yr10, dyslexic, really could do without the break from school). I want to be looking forward to seeing my dad, who now won’t be flying in to the country in July. I want to not be worrying about the kids I teach, for whom school was safe, warm and stable- who knew I thought they were amazing and knew I am interested in them.

Oh and I want to shit in peace, without anyone “wondering where you’d gone”.

But yes, OP, like you I continue to smile and chat lightheartedly.

The Signature Lasagne is coming along well.

DP has chopped some onions. He has left the chopped fucking onions in a heap on the chopping board, come back in the living room and sat down. They stink and my eyes are streaming.

Apparently, the chicken livers and mince are "still a bit frozen", so he can't actually start cooking them yet. I daren't suggest that he puts the onions in an airtight container, because I will be unable to restrain myself from pointing out that he should have thought about getting the twatting meat out of the twatting freezer a bit fucking earlier, and checked if it had thawed before he started bollocking chopping fucking onions.

Why, in the name of holy fuck, he doesn't do something logical like making sure he has all the ingredients, in a useable condition, before he fucking starts?

And he's moaning because I have vetoed him opening a £20-something bottle of Croze Hermitage, that I am saving for a special occasion, so he can "add a splash" to the ragu. He can't possibly drag his fucking sorry lazy arse to the local shop and buy a bottle of cheap red rotgut.

I wouldn't mind, but his fucking signature lasagne isn't all that special, and I only suggested it because I have cooked every fucking dinner for 3 weeks. And I know that he'll leave the kitchen in such a state that I'll need to get a disaster recovery company in to clear up the mess.

That signature dish may yet turn out to be the signature on his fucking death warrant. My Victorinox carving knife is looking very tempting.

Well now that the floodgates are open....
They want to sort CUPBOARDS whilst the kitchen flooor is covered, actually COVERED in crumbs (my fault because i baked cookies, which noone said thank you for!) the people keep leaving their bowls and cups and plates wherever suits them but obviously not in the bloody sink, half the kitchen floor is littered with boots and shoes because whdn they come in from the garden they can't possibly take them off a bit cliser to the actual door! Oh but they want to sort cupboards!
And the bastarding cat keeps eating my (dead) flowers and then stares at me funny when i object!

ohhhhh AND I did the shopping, bought us a tub of ben&jerrys icecream each...she ate hers, i saved mine. So she starts tucking in to mine.....err how about you fuck right off?!
So she did a shop, bought 2 tubs.....ate them BOTH.
how the fuck does that work. I buy for both of us and share, you buy for yourself.
My 'big shop' cost me £130, and she gave me £20, which didnt even cover her share of the wine and items she asks for, let alone the share of food items that will be used to make meals. the £20note she gave me actually felt like like a joke. Esp as the time before, I spent £200 stocking up and she contributed nothing, and ate everything she liked the look of.
Just sums the whole thing up.

I cant even really get rid of her, because she has no fucking job anymore.
I honestly wasnt coping, a few months ago, but I was really in bad health and as a single parent it was just too much. now im recovering, and she's zero help, so whats the point in her being here? but i cant bin her off as she was meant to be doing me a favour, so I'll look like a user(?) but it's not remotely mutally beneficial, which was meant to be the agreement.
But she's a decade younger than me, in her 20s, and was meant to be in theory bring some of that 20something-year-old-energy and buzz. But i've realised that I was actually doing ok, I was just ill. Esp if this is the best that a single young person can do.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! - and breath. lol, that actually does feel a bit better

Oh oh I thought it was only me suffering from the rage of the ages.

I feel better just having read all of these.

Oh YES, fuckinghellthisshit, the NOISE from my husband too. So much needless, pointless noise. Whistling, chattering on to himself, snorting, sneezing, cracking his knees. I work away from home most of the time and now I can't. I miss my proper job.

Sounds like your kids at least are pulling their weight AND you've found an amusing way of getting your husband out of the house for a bit. Go you!

Why does every fucking call have to be a video call?! I'm 6m pregnant, have a 19m old, haven't been out the house in weeks and the aforesaid mentioned 19m old has hidden my make up bag the same place the washing machine hides the twins of my odd socks. My roots are horrific. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE UP YOUR HAIRY NOSTRILS EVERY EVENING DF OR A CLOSE UP OF THE CEILING/CARPET/YOUR LAP DM AS YOU CAN'T WORK THE DAMN CAMERA!!

Getting on surprisingly well with DH, beginning to suspect we may be well matched...

SDTG... if beans on toast are good enough for you - they're good enough for everybody else too. I hear you though about the mental load for food... I have it and hate it too. Everybody flocking around me like baby birds waiting to be fed...

Synchronised karchering-- seriously people it's too much...

DH for no reason whatsoever has started to half fill my mug of tea when its his turn to make them. I love a full to the brim tea, which he is fully aware of. He denies all knowledge of being aware that the mug is HALF EMPTY.....I felt very proud of myself when I made him a tea in an espresso mug. Ha fucking ha DH.

You know, in recent years I'd started to think that maybe I was becoming less introvert with age. Really enjoying spending time with people, lots of socialising at my house etc.

I've realised that the reason I've been enjoying that is that now the kids are at school and my part time work is from home, I am absolutely in charge of what I do and when, while they're at school/work and I'm home alone. We can have thirty people round for a lovely afternoon/evening and make sure I spend the majority of the next day completely alone.

Now, though? People in my house. The three people I love most in the world but IN MY HOUSE. ALL THE TIME. This morning DH took DD out for a walk, and DS said he'd go for a run. Could they co-ordinate this so they were all out at once?

I'll give you one guess.

@thegrassisgreenernow
Yes, it's gorgeous that my 'just grown-up" DCs make delicious meals. But just not worth it for the mess they think they've cleared up but haven't. Do love them though, but fuck, it's annoying. And not being able to say it without immense hurt-faces is bringing my blood to the boil.

THIS!!! THIS ALL DAY LONG!!!

Stay strong ladies. You've all made me smile :)

Can I join in please...

Exdp is the biggest fucking man child ever. Driving dd round in an illegal car seat nad then acting like I am unreasonable for telling him he is a dick

DM...stop feeding my kid fully of fucking sugar all day, she doesn't sleep at the best of times and full of sugar is even worse. And if you repeat your mantra of "she doesn't do it for Granny" I am going to ram my fist into your smug fucking face.

DP... You are not the only one who is struggling.... Yes I am still going to work, but considering both dd and I should be shielding and I have been given no choice but to carry on working because unlike you I am not important enough to our company for them to agree to me working from home. So stop getting grumpy because you are stuck in your home town alone. I asked you to pack your life up and move in before this started... Your refused... So stop taking it out on me and then going awol because you have got yourself up inside your head. Carry on and you will find yourself with a slap or single because I have enough one with dd, I am not going to deal with another manchild.

To my boss... Yes we know you are key to the business continuity... But just because you are allegedly working from home does not mean that you get to abdicate all responsibility. Deal with the lazy ass members of our team whose behaviour and frankly shitty attitude have been causing friction of 2 years but you are to pansy assed to deal with it

Dd... I love you to the moon and back but stop screaming the fucking house down because I have sent you to bed... You are 6 years old not 16 so no, you do not get to dictate to me what time you go to bed. And for fuck sake... Sleep, do not get up at 630 and demand we start baking fucking cakes because you are bored and then complain half way through said baking that you are too tired to carry on. If you hadn't got up at 6 fucking 30 in the fucking morning you wouldn't be fucking tired

And to the cat... Shut the fuck up howling for food every 5 fucking minutes and if you dig at my fucking carpets anymore you will will be going back to your original owners.

• I'll be needing that TeenBarrel™ and Twatting Spade™ soon! I'd offer to help with the patio but I'm a bit far away and y'know, essential travel doesn't cover 10.5k miles to come and help you with the disposal, sorry!

I detect the unspoken rage of millennia of women. I feel your pain and am so glad it's not just me who has to fight the urge for mass murder.

This is making me laugh. I thought I was an irritable cow. I am beyond irritated with everyone. Everything keeps breaking and malfunctioning. I am feeling murderous a lot of the time.

I have found my people! I have been internally screaming for a while now and I have learned sadly after nearly 50 years I dislike every effing member of my family,all my friends and even me!

If anyone needs to dispose of bodies, I have an allotment.

Just saying...