Irritated, irritable and irritating. AIBU to be tolerant in RL and tell them to get fucked on this thread.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

IABU. Unreasonable and I know it.

I am just so fucking irritated at the moment. Everything is grinding my gears. DD's constant fucking exercising, DS leaving his shit everywhere, DH's following me around and just fucking breathing everywhere.
I am being a model of kindness and tolerance but I do wish every bastard one of them would fuck off.

And face timing my DGM97 every day at exactly 6pm to watch her slowly lose her shit (she's been in lockdown for 6 weeks already) and become unkempt is horrendous. Arguing with her for hours about politics (she lives for these debates and asks for robust challenging - good for her mh she says) is exhausting. I just want to lie down, I don't care what Mark fucking Steel is saying today - he can get fucked too.

My mean GD97 who has been living in isolation for 40 years and never wanted a visit or call but suddenly needs the warmth and kindness of his family - well the women in his family, and I am especially sought after as the busiest person. Fuck you mean old man, you are alone for a reason! you made your miserable lonely bed now lie in it!

My normally sane DM is in full lunatic mode, needing constant love and reassurance, leave me alone! I am your child! What about me! Why not rind one of my many bastarding twat brothers. And stop cooking for 12-18 people - there are only 2 of you there - that's why you're getting so fat - not stress hormones.

My tribe of idiot brothers who all refused to accept there was any problem and spouted full Trump rhetoric until my DGM's neighbour died and then had massive mantrums demanding I send them all food. Get fucked!
.
I love these people so very much. I also loved my small business and working, and being on my own a bit. I care so much, but I want a break and a vent. So here, in the safety of MN, I will tell them all to get fucked.

Thank you, I feel so much better now.

Next time tell him they're on the roof.

*the trousers

Bin men for the row of shops near me are getting it today. Look mate i know your only doing your job and I appreciate your putting yourself at risk, no seriously I do BUT for the love of all that is holy do you really need to do it at 5 fucking AM outside my bedroom windows. Theres a fecking ginnel next to the pub round the corner where you can not only access the back entries for the bins but you also won't disturb anyone as none of the residences are close enough to hear WARNING REVERSING BEEP WAKE UP FUCKING BEEP.

I am generally lucky. Bin men don't start til 7:30 am. But this week, with the Bank Holiday tomorrow, they'll be round on Saturday morning.....

Mine just won't shut up. I have to small people and all they do is chat bollocks. Thank christ I don't have a fella. I'd kill him. Even grandma is getting mildly irritated by her beloved/absolutely worshipped and adored grandchildren. We often just sit in silence when the children fuck off *when I allow gaming) it's bliss. Youngest is ASD/developmental delay and possibly adhd so he just goes on and on. But it's when they both talk AT me at the same time. What are you even doing. Shut the fuck up!

Two*

I'm in. My beloved husband has developed the ability to mutter to himself constantly whilst working, his stuff is slowly spreading across MY homeoffice setup, and if he makes that 'aaaaccccck' noise whist streching his stupid long arms across MY workspace one more time there will be dire consequences.

He's now talking about working from home more frequently when All This is over. Somebody please send help...

If I can’t see him he won’t know I’m there
"Mine has a hood, and I lie in bed,
And pull the hood right over my head,
And I shut my eyes, and I curl up small,
And nobody knows that I'm there at all."
(Christopher Robin)

PIL. I know. SIL is a saint. BIL is a hero. Their children are angel geniuses and their house is a sanctuary.
I'm sorry that your son drew the short straw, spouse-wise. Your son has turned into Howard Hughes and does not emerge from the study, DD is feral, the house is a shit tip and I am struggling to keep on top of work and the mountain of work the school set as well, so my appearance (never wonderful), and that of the house, has deteriorated somewhat. I am certain that another bride would have taken better care of things.
Any chance of not making the comparison quite so obvious, though?

Parents in DD's year group - I do not give a shiny shite what wonderful work you're doing as a family. If you really want your little Einstein to have extra work, take it up with the teacher yourself! Look it up online! Teach them Phonecian cuniform if it floats your boat! But don't feel the need to tell the rest of us how 'worried you are that your DC finish the work too quickly, need something more challenging and should we be campaigning for the school to increase the workload?? - and in your (MLM) business you've found this to be a problem for you too... (but hints on how to get your child to wash without using a cattle prod might be helpful)
Oh, and the 'my child is SOOOOO altruistic' brigade can get to fuck as well. If your kids want to make "delicious treats!!" for the local hospital, or leave cakes on elderly neighbours' doorsteps, knock yourselves out - but I don't need a zillion photos clagging up my WhatsApp showing the darling moppets beaming under the caption "socially distanced!!!" with their fairy cakes every week.

DD - there are three of us in this house. A) shush! B) if I tell you to sweep the floor, or tidy your room, it is not equivalent to sending you down a salt mine for a year.
Also, school work is exactly the same as the work you would be doing anyway, therefore should not be this much of a challenge. The reason it takes so long is because you faff about for ages before you start. "Watering a plant" does not count as exercise. And open the window every time you use that foul body spray, it makes me sneeze.

DH - you're damn lucky you got the study is all I can say.

I love my family dearly, but not having been alone for 8 weeks solid and days filled with a gazillion Zoom calls is taking its toll..

Today i discovered this little gem of a song so thought I would share it with you all, can this become the mumsnet anthem

Lyrics
I've tried, tried, tried, and i've tried even more
I've cried, cried, cried, and I can't recall what for
I've pressed, i've pushed, i've yelled, i've begged
In hopes of some success
But the inevitable fact is that it never will impress!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have runeth dry
I've tried to go fuck shopping but there's no fucks left to buy!
I've no more fucks to give
Though more fucks i've tried to get
I'm over my fuck budget, and i'm now in fucking debt!
I strive, strive, strive, to get everything done
I've played by all the rules, but i've very rarely won
I've smiled, i've charmed, i've wooed and laughed, alas to no avail
I've run round like a moron, to unequivocally fail!
I've no more fucks left to give
My fuck fuse has just blown
I've been hunting for my fucks all day
But they've upped and fucked off home!
I've no more fucks to give
My fuck rations are depleted
I've rallied my fuck army but it's been fucking defeated!
The effort has just not been worth the time or the expense!
I've exhausted all my energy, for minimal recompense!
The distinct lack of acknowledgement has now begun to gall!
And i've come to realize that I don't give a fuck at all!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have flown away
My fucks are now so fucked up they've refused to fucking stay!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have gone insane
They've come back round and passed me while they're fucking off again!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have all dissolved
I've planned many projects, but my fucks won't be involved!
I've no more fucks to give
My fucks have all been spent
They've fucked off from the building
And I don't know where they've went!
I've no more fucks to give!
I've no more fucks to give!
I've no more fucks!
I've no more fucks!
I've no more fucks to give!

That has to be the anthem for 2020, @VoluptuaSneezelips.

Oh my people!
I'm WFH 4 days a week 8-4 and in the Financial Services area so considered a key worker, I live with DH (50), DS1 (19), DS2 (17) and huge Ddog, I get up every day on my work days at 7.30, log on and make a cuppa, I'm currently in the spare room (aka my craft room) and I shut the door so I don't disturb anyone.
My DH also works from home but does that anyway so he stays put in the lounge, all good, DS1 is furloughed, DS2 is at college so home. Despite what he protests, my DH does NOT start work at 9am, it's closer to midfuckingday, lazy bastard. DS1 barely surfaces before 2pm and DS2 exercises every day, all day in the same room as me (cos that's where the gym equipment is currently kept) so, whilst he's got his headphones in all I can hear is him panting like a sex marathon session!
Ddog is fed at 5pm daily, so he stands in the doorway from 3.30pm silently staring at me - fuck off!
I can't get a delivery slot at all so I venture out once a week for fresh and top-ups - I'm lucky if the fruit, cereal bars, salad stuff lasts a fucking day! Stop eating it before I can even unpack the stuff!
Mum, where's the charger? How on earth would I know when I don't use them! Use those little things in your face and LOOK!
What's for tea? Every bastard day, I feel like shouting: same shit different day, you ungrateful shits!

I watch the daily updates incase there is something useful to know but the fucking idiotic questions presented by the media has me shouting at the TV like a lunatic, constantly trying to trip the experts up!! Fuck off you twats! Ask a fucking proper question!

And yes, the noise, all day, every day!

Keep sane people and hopefully This will Pass - and not a moment to fucking soon!

I am losing my shit today too
My children are delightful and so happy to be home like this
However:
the trampoline
The constant cries of mummeeeeee
Constant following me about ....
Out if the shower today to find them lounging on my bed waiting for me
Go to watch PMQs ... oh look here they are again!!
Endless dramas
Their VOICES

I just miss my personal space so badly!!!

Ah here they come pounding up the stairs to fine me.... how can I be more fun than a water fight with daddy!? Fuck only knows.

I have a completely fucked-up sleeping pattern. I can’t get to sleep at night - lying awake until 2.30am is a good night - it is getting later and later - and then in the mornings, I sleep like I’m stunned, and can’t wake up. Dh brings me coffee at some point, and sometimes I manage to wake up to drink some of it, and other days it just goes cold. I am lucky if I am up before midday.

Poor dh is doing everything - he cooks, does the washing, irons and brings me drinks, while I sit on the couch and embroider - I am doing a year long blackwork embroidery project, which has helped my mental health such a lot, but it makes me an utterly useless wife.

And the more I sit on the couch eating, the worse my mobility is getting. By the end of lockdown, I will be spherical, and will need rolling everywhere.

I know what I need to do - get up earlier, make sensible decisions about food, do some exercise, do some housework - but I am finding it utterly impossible to motivate myself to do any of it. My get up and go has got up and fucked off - probably for good.

Me to ds -Would you like to go to play football? ds - no later. I start mopping the floor, he appears 5 mins later and announces he's going to play football. I close the window, get some socks and trainers on, get my keys and some water. Lock the door, walk 5 paces and he's back! It's too warm, he says ! This happens three times a day randomly. When we get to play football he constantly kicks the ball like superman and it goes in the deep nettles and brambles . Every Single Time . My knees are killing me from playing every day for approx 2/3 hours.
In September, I never want to see a football again ! Or a chart. School have sent a weekly one for wellbeing. What time did your child wake up? Are they eating regularly (yes, the food bill is rocketing !)
did they phone a friend today? have they done a household chore.etc etc.
Then a chart for pocket money. Because getting him to do any school work is a miracle, after the constant evasive disappearing, faffing and sour attitude.
He's got plenty of house points on show my homework but they are actually my points because I spent hours getting him to do a bit of work !
I have a window poster ready bought from Amazon for September 🙏 it is a Back to School Congratulations !

This thread is a thing of beauty!

I quite agree fortnit

Kill them all. You can bury them under the vegetables

permanentlyexhaustedpidgeon so true about the body spray !

How has everyone coped? I am back to work monday..... nervous... excited. How about you all?

Haven’t done them in! Success! Feeling smug! Still in lockdown here though and no sign of DH going back to work soon so time will tell! ...

Can see friends now at least. Woo hoo.

So Instead of staying tolerant in real life and swearing on here, I flipped in real life on Friday.

Work was a pile of shit, husband was out at work and the toddler was a massive nuisance. So I screamed at the toddler to leave me alone and then cried to my mum on the phone.

Toddler is ok now. We had lots of hugs after but I haven't had a break. I've had to set my desk up in the dining room so I can attempt to work whilst supervising the toddler. But it means I never get a minutes peace as when my husband isn't at work we're in the same space.

And to top it all off my dickhead next door neighbours have decided to use this time to redecorate their living room and dining room. Which means a lot of banging on our adjoining wall as they have taken out the fireplace and are gutting it all. How the heck am I supposed to concentrate on work when my desk is shaking from all the banging?!

However there is a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Toddler is hopefully going back to nursery next week for 3 days a week. Which means I can attempt to work without having to listen to Disney songs on repeat whilst toddler swings on the arm of my chair trying to get my attention.

And breathe...

Our furloughed neighbour decided to do some DIY job in the garden.
Nearly every fucking day there is sander,grinder or another fucking noisy machine on the go.

Kids are PITA.Can’t do anything. DC1 extra clingy,follows me to the toilet for a hug.I love you too but let me shit in peace!

I drank a bottle of wine, must have needed it.
DH is brilliant but oh my goodness, I want my space back!

Good here too; our year 6 is back in school and adapting really well to it - the teachers tell me she's thriving. We have both worked all the way through and been madly busy so no change there. Stay safe everyone.