To think how dare she! I haven’t done anything wrong have I?

[Deedee9]

So, a friend of mine took it upon herself to tell me off last night. Why? Because I ordered some birthday cards online for my family including my ds who is 16 in a few weeks and my mum who’s 60 a few days later. Now it’s rare I order anything online as usually I like to go into shops, but considering card shops are shut and Tesco and Asda in my area are running low on cards I thought I’d order some online.

She told me it’s people like me adding to the crisis ordering non essential stuff and I’m not thinking of the delivery people risking heir lives. To be honest at first it upset me as she’s supposed to be my friend but then I got really angry. When I thought about it I’ve come to realise just how bloody judgemental she is. It was my dd’s birthday the first week of lockdown and my friend messaged me whilst I was waiting in the queue at Asda. I had gone for some essential food items but also to get my dd some balloons and banners. I hadn’t gone solely for the balloons and banners etc yet my friend called me irresponsible. My Facebook news feed is full of people ordering bbq’s, swimming pools play equipment, clothes etc but I haven’t commented because one it’s not my place to tell people what to buy and two it’s none of my fooking business. AIBU?

She's being ridiculous.

The government haven't told people to stop buying things online. It's fine.

It was my birthday yesterday and it was so nice to get cards in the post. We need the connections in these strange times. It meant so much more to me than usual.

Time to socially distance yourself from her much more than 2m.
She's being ridiculous.

I don't think you've done anything wrong.

I think people need to stop ordering pointless crap online but a few birthday cards is fine. If she wants to be extra responsible and not even buy things like that then fine but she can't insist you do the same. YANBU

She's an idiot.

Your friend is being ridiculous and rude. I'm not even sure I would be considering her a friend. We've not been told not to purchase things online and, as somebody who has a birthday coming up at the end of the month, I think not receiving any birthday cards (or presents) would be quite detrimental to some people. I know I'll feel sad if my family don't make any kind of effort to get at least a card out to me.
Also, nothing wrong with picking up balloons etc at Asda, we've been told we can buy what is in the stores, so, as long as you're getting other stuff too, nothing at all wrong with that.

Balloons and banners are unnecessary plastic shit at any time.

I live for my deliveries of pointless crap!

She is being ridiculous.

And I'm a Postie. I don't consider myself to be risking my life.

I'm delivering letters and parcels. As normal. Yep, the volumes have rocketed, but mostly people are home so i can actually deliver everything.

Keep ordering what you need. We need the retail sector to be there when this is all over!

Oh I forgot to add she works as a courier. So I completely get why she’s annoyed having to deliver lots of parcels everyday. I wouldn’t mind but I only messaged her as I was worried about her after seeing a post on Facebook about how fed up she was. I was nice, I listened, and I told her she’s doing an amazing job and deserves a medal for working so hard. Then I get it thrown back in my face!

Well your friend would hate me for ordering things online. Just distance yourself from her for a while. You've done nothing wrong and she sounds frustrated with it being her job. Don't send her anymore messages.

I get the trying to not order loads of stuff on line to protect delivery people but if we all stop ordering stuff then they wouldn't have a job. I have tried to order as locally as possible and have ordered presents etc for delivery.. We are also getting the kids to write to grandparents. I have ordered stuff for my daughters birthday at the end of May as I wasn't sure on delivery times...

What does your friend do? If she works in a warehouse or shop, and can only quit and have no money, or hope for the best.. you can cut her some slack.
Otherwise, just ignore her. Who cares.

I know she’s frustrated but the fact she keeps having little digs because I’m working from home is doing my head in too. She said it’s people sat at home bored keeping safe who are ordering all this non essential crap. But my DH is an essential worker and is at risk every day so we have worries too. Difference is though I don’t take my worries out on other people.

Just tell her to mind her own fucking business, jesus, as if life isn't hard enough
Hope your son and mum have a lovely day and have a fabulous celebration when this is over

Her being a courier changes things somewhat. It must be stressful and one thing that would relieve the stress would be assuming she was delivering essential supplies. Cut her some slack but don’t feel bad about what you’ve ordered.

She is a courier for a national company. I get why she’s frustrated but she also has a DH who has a really well paid job so if she had to quit work for a few months she wouldn’t struggle. I know that sounds like I’m being judgemental myself but it’s based on fact as she quite openly tells me how much dh earns.

Send her a card.

The economy is in a perilous state. We need to try and keep it going.

If her employers have given her the tools to keep safe then at least she's earning and keeping her job.

If they're not then that's the issue that has to be dealt with.

She's being ridiculous, I've seen a few people express this view, but we still have to keep the economy going and people in jobs!

Thank you. I came close to telling her to mind her own business but I just came off messenger in the end and left it at that. I appreciate the fact she’s frustrated but then at the same time I have family ( sister mother in law brother in law) putting their lives at risk every day working for the NHS and they aren’t having a go at me because I’m at home ordering birthday cards and they’re on the front line doing an amazing job by the way. Instead I phone to check up on them and offer support and they are thankful I just make effort to check in and see how they’re doing. There’s no need to judge people.

Here we go again - people inventing their own rules then having a go at others for not obeying them. Tell her to go and find something to do. Ordering online is allowed, whether she likes it or not.

Tell her to fuck off.

We don’t go a day without ordering something from amazon and other places. Pointless fripperies have become important.

What with shops being closed at the moment I think they need people to order on line as otherwise there will be far more going into liquidation than there are already, with subsequent loss of jobs, including those of delivery people.