To think how dare she! I haven’t done anything wrong have I?

[Deedee9]

So, a friend of mine took it upon herself to tell me off last night. Why? Because I ordered some birthday cards online for my family including my ds who is 16 in a few weeks and my mum who’s 60 a few days later. Now it’s rare I order anything online as usually I like to go into shops, but considering card shops are shut and Tesco and Asda in my area are running low on cards I thought I’d order some online.

She told me it’s people like me adding to the crisis ordering non essential stuff and I’m not thinking of the delivery people risking heir lives. To be honest at first it upset me as she’s supposed to be my friend but then I got really angry. When I thought about it I’ve come to realise just how bloody judgemental she is. It was my dd’s birthday the first week of lockdown and my friend messaged me whilst I was waiting in the queue at Asda. I had gone for some essential food items but also to get my dd some balloons and banners. I hadn’t gone solely for the balloons and banners etc yet my friend called me irresponsible. My Facebook news feed is full of people ordering bbq’s, swimming pools play equipment, clothes etc but I haven’t commented because one it’s not my place to tell people what to buy and two it’s none of my fooking business. AIBU?

Just don't tell her anything anymore

I thought it was helping to keep the economy going?

I think just ignore her. That’s what I would be doing, putting distance in between us. We’ve been ordering on amazon so we don’t have to go to the shops.

If everyone speed ordering the delivery people would be out of a job... As it us, there will be courier jobs available with all the extra work and some people who lost their jobs in pubs etc can get work

Surely it is better to stay home and buy what you need online, than to make more visits to shops? Couriers and posties I imagine can keep relatively safe, they don't wait around on the doorstep these days

I’m guessing she’s hoping to be furloughed.
I’d ignore her. I’m buying a couple of bits online, they’ve actually really helped me get through each day.

Blimey my friend is a courier and says it’s great at the moment. No traffic, everyone’s in so no need to make three attempts to deliver and you leave things in doorstep and walk back to car so saving more time.
Her husband has lost his job so she is glad of the extra work

I know there’s some debate about this but in my opinion it’s practically your duty if you can afford to keep buying stuff to keep the economy going, especially from small businesses etc. The economy is failing enough as it is without everyone suspending all purchases.

She’s been OTT. I’m thinking very carefully about online orders as I don’t want to put extra strain on Royal Mail etc but I do think keeping it going is important to the economy. I’m not impulse buying anything but keeping things in the wish lists/baskets for a few days to think about it.

She's crazy and being really obnoxious.

I have a 'Happy (Isolated) Birthday' card design on a well known online card website.

Tell her I've sold over 300 cards in less than 2 weeks. My design isn't even remotely one if their 'Corona themed' bestselling birthday/friendship cards. You're DEFINITELY not alone in doing this.

I just wanted to add that's things are hard enough and people are feeling isolated enough....

A posted card can't mean a lot to someone right now. Our mental health is VERY important,

She's being ridiculous. The economy needs us to order online. Businesses are struggling and going into liquidation left right and centre. I ordered and had delivered a washing machine the other day after ours died. Next day delivery and arrived promptly and safely.
If I can find a small business offering something we need online, then I'm using it. Got a delivery of plants and soil from a local garden centre.
The economy has to be sustained - even a little - in these difficult days.

A posted card *can mean a lot

Oh I forgot to add she works as a courier. So I completely get why she’s annoyed having to deliver lots of parcels everyday.

She should be very grateful that she still has her job. Many others don't and are really struggling. That's not to say her job isn't hard work but at least she has money coming in.
It would really annoy me if she'd spoken to me like that and I'd be reducing contact with her at least until Corona is over. Some people have just gone really weird bossing others about and policing others.
A lot of businesses are totally reliant on online orders at the moment. The economy needs people to keep buying.

Similarly someone calling you irresponsible for buying balloons and banners which aren't essentials needs to fuck off. In my opinion, if things are available to buy in the shops then you can buy them whether they are essential or not. If the government doesn't want us to buy them then they should order supermarkets not to sell them.
Going out just to buy balloons and banners would be a bit irresponsible but shoving them in the trolley along with essentials is not.

Shocked at how awful some people have become during this crisis.

Yeah I think a card on someone’s birthday is nice and it shows that person that you’re thinking of them. My mum is gutted we can’t get together all the family seeing the grandkids etc so if all I can do right now is send her a card to cheer her up then that’s what I’ll do. I also ordered cards for my DH my grandparents parent in laws etc. I ordered them all together from the same place at the same time so to avoid multiple deliveries.

this isnt a race to the bottom.you having people on the frontline does negate others worries.i hate all this competitive level of shit we are all in at the moment.everyone can find this hard.and some will handle it better than others.it doesnt mean we cant have a bit of compassion.
plus you dont want her to judge yet you are kind of with her.and tyou do not know given the current climate that her husband will keep his "well" paid job.
we dont all have to stop worrying unless we are a nurse or have families with someone working in hospitals!

@AuntieMarys
Send her a card

Brilliant

She sounds bored and she might need a hobby.
Suggest a hobby where she will need to order all the things online.
And then tell her she's the problem.

Thanks Kraejka. I’ve certainly seen people’s true colours since all of this started. My Facebook is rife with people telling others what to do and not to do. Like we haven’t had that off the government already. People know what they should and shouldn’t be doing yet people get on their high horses posting all sorts of crap.

Just to present a slightly different point of view, a friend of mine is a postman. He was telling me the other day that there is no social distancing at all in the sorting office, it just isn't possible. Of course he's fine when out on his round, but it did makes me think a bit about the stuff I've been ordering.

How did she know this?
I have stopped mentioning what Im doing-I dont need their validation so stop putting things you do up for comment.

She’s frightened and jealous. But she’s an adult and needs to keep her feelings in check when they spill out inappropriately.
I would distance myself from her from now. Friendship should be a pleasure.

I’m ordering anything I want.
Our courier lives on the next village and she’s pleased-she’s lost loads of work through NEXT deliveries stopping and she wants the money.
Don’t feel guilty, spending money keeps people employed.

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come across like that. Everyone is worried and I’m not saying only doctors and nurses have the right to do so. What I’m saying is that there are ways of dealing with that worry and surely taking it out on a friend that has only messaged to see how you are in the first place isn’t the way to go.

If we all quit ordering stuff the economic crash would be even worse, more people would lose their jobs more businesses would fail. Keep buying what you want to and what you can afford.