To think how dare she! I haven’t done anything wrong have I?

[Deedee9]

So, a friend of mine took it upon herself to tell me off last night. Why? Because I ordered some birthday cards online for my family including my ds who is 16 in a few weeks and my mum who’s 60 a few days later. Now it’s rare I order anything online as usually I like to go into shops, but considering card shops are shut and Tesco and Asda in my area are running low on cards I thought I’d order some online.

She told me it’s people like me adding to the crisis ordering non essential stuff and I’m not thinking of the delivery people risking heir lives. To be honest at first it upset me as she’s supposed to be my friend but then I got really angry. When I thought about it I’ve come to realise just how bloody judgemental she is. It was my dd’s birthday the first week of lockdown and my friend messaged me whilst I was waiting in the queue at Asda. I had gone for some essential food items but also to get my dd some balloons and banners. I hadn’t gone solely for the balloons and banners etc yet my friend called me irresponsible. My Facebook news feed is full of people ordering bbq’s, swimming pools play equipment, clothes etc but I haven’t commented because one it’s not my place to tell people what to buy and two it’s none of my fooking business. AIBU?

I asked the delivery man the other day if it was ok with him that I carry on shopping on line for non essentials. He was fine said yeah go ahead it keeps me in a job.
Also I got a lovely email from a small company that I ordered a replacement part for my dishwasher from ( not essential as I could hand wash dishes) thanking me for my custom as they are struggling to keep afloat.
Damned if you do damned if you don't.
Your friend is an idiot.

Well that’s it. It’s going to be hard enough that I can’t spend time with my family on their birthdays especially my mum as we had a huge party booked for her so obvs that’s all been cancelled. My ds is year 11 so has now left school, no GCSE’s (he’s actually gutted) no prom, no saying goodbye to everyone etc. Now he can’t even celebrate his birthday like we’d planned which was meant to be a meal and party with family and friends. So if I can’t even buy him a bloody birthday card without being told off there is something wrong.

We need the economy to keep going. I’ve ordered a few things from various shops as I really want them to still be there when this ends.

She needs to get a grip, you did nothing wrong. Her life sounds very dull to get worked up about this

@AuntieMarys
😂 that’s the best idea !
OP your “friend “ is unhappy with her lot and is dealing with it by having a go at you, and possibly other people in her life.
Try to ignore her and carry on as you are.
But please do send her a card
🤣

Sorry just read she was a courier...surely she needs people to continue ordering things otherwise she's out of a job?

fixyourgardengate It tickles me pink that you're a postie and this is your name. Marvellous.

She's stressed and frightened. Get a thicker skin, for God's sake.

She can't stop you doing your online shopping; you can't stop her having her feelings about it. You're wasting your energy working yourself into a froth about it.

OP don't worry about it. Of course you can order what you like online, otherwise it wouldn't be available would it. I also have a Year 11 DS who is upset about how his schooling has ended, he is into Warhammer and we've been able to purchase sets from Ebay and Amazon, to be honest its been really beneficial to his mental health to have something to do and create. There are different ways to interpret essential, some people just like to get on their high horses.

I get that she might be stressed and frightened but taking it out on your so called friends isn’t the way to go. I’m stressed about stuff (unrelated to Coronavirus) and instead of taking it out on the people I love and care for I’m trying to deal with it head on and keep myself busy and distracted.

I know we are all having our stresses at the moment but I honestly cannot see what is wrong with ordering stuff online. It helps to keep the economy going and also if people are stuck at home then surely it helps to keep them occupied.
I don’t quite understand why your friend thinks she’s so much at risk as all the couriers that come to my door just leave it on the step and I’m more than happy with that. But I’m prepared to be flamed for that view.

It's not your fault she is bitter that you can work from home, I am unlikely to have a job to go back to after extended maternity leave and I'm terrified of losing my job; but I am still pleased for friends who are managing to safely work from home. Because they are my friends, and I care about them, and realise that their situations don't affect mine. The postman here says he is out and about anyway, the sorting staff have been given more time to process without penalty and that actually RM have been suffering at the hands of couriers for a while, so work is good. I wish there was more important being given to the fact people should be washing their letterboxes though. I know some people will feel it's over the top, but it takes about 30 seconds and might help to keep them a bit safer. Essentially I would probably just try and move forward from it, people are stressed at the moment, but in reality those ordering stuff are keeping her in a job, so...

Time to back off from her, much much further than 2m. She sounds like way too much work to be a friend. Oh and no, you're not doing anything wrong. If nobody buys anything, the economy will tank even more and her judgemental arse will be out of a job.

The economy needs to survive too. I have also ordered non-essential stuff on line, a cross trainer, stuff for garden, clippers as it turns out I am not great at hairdressing etc. Etc. At least these companies can keep going Imo.

Yeah I was wondering that too. People like my family are working on the frontline with patients who actually have the virus. Now they’re the ones who are truly at risk.

Your "friend" is a dick. Tell her to wind her neck in.

She wants to wind her neck in. People are relying on daily deliveries, I know I am, and also, it’s keeping her in a job FFS.

Your 'friend' would hate me then!
So far I've had delivered...
A bed, mattress, shelves, phone cable, various wall art, a rug, lampshades, worktop saver and makeup 😁

There are no rules or laws to say you can't and I'd moved house just before lockdown, so I've been getting the house sorted.

Tell your 'friend' to fuck off!

OP, you're being a bit judgemental too, though. She feels you shouldn't be buying shit online, you feel you're a better person than she is for dealing so well with your stress. Nobody's at their best right now. Try to let it go, all the with the 'so-called friend' drama is just going to stress you out more.

I posted a birthday present to my sister yesterday - so shoot me.

Thank you to all postmen and women, and anyone who does deliveries

Honestly I don’t feel like I’m better. Trust me I’m not dealing with it I’m holding on by a thread like a lot of other people. I’m just trying my best to stay positive as I’ve had previous MH problems and i realise now more than ever if I allow myself to sit and worry constantly and don’t keep myself busy and distracted I could white possibly go to that dark place I was at previously and that’s not a place I want to be.

Your are not her emotional punchbag. Just keep repeating that to yourself - she doesn’t get to take out her frustrations out on you.

I wouldn't engage with her on this subject. It's none of hey business what you do or don't order.

Our DPD man, who I order so much from I'm on first name terms with, begged me not to stop ordering stuff, he's self employed and his wife has been furloughed and they need the £ the extra hours he's doing brings in.

IME - Now you have realised what she’s like you will notice her snarky comments more and more - it’s happened with friends of mine. You see their true colours and then your ready for it.

If you want to remain friends with her just do not tell her things that you know she will comment on. Don’t give her ammunition. She’s talking crap anyway - surely if people stop ordering stuff she’ll be out of a job?