To think how dare she! I haven’t done anything wrong have I?

[Deedee9]

So, a friend of mine took it upon herself to tell me off last night. Why? Because I ordered some birthday cards online for my family including my ds who is 16 in a few weeks and my mum who’s 60 a few days later. Now it’s rare I order anything online as usually I like to go into shops, but considering card shops are shut and Tesco and Asda in my area are running low on cards I thought I’d order some online.

She told me it’s people like me adding to the crisis ordering non essential stuff and I’m not thinking of the delivery people risking heir lives. To be honest at first it upset me as she’s supposed to be my friend but then I got really angry. When I thought about it I’ve come to realise just how bloody judgemental she is. It was my dd’s birthday the first week of lockdown and my friend messaged me whilst I was waiting in the queue at Asda. I had gone for some essential food items but also to get my dd some balloons and banners. I hadn’t gone solely for the balloons and banners etc yet my friend called me irresponsible. My Facebook news feed is full of people ordering bbq’s, swimming pools play equipment, clothes etc but I haven’t commented because one it’s not my place to tell people what to buy and two it’s none of my fooking business. AIBU?

She wouldn’t be a friend of mine, I’d soon bin her off

Send her a card.

@AuntieMarys 😂😂😂😂😂

@fixyourgardengate - absolutely agree with you. I’ve seen a few postie friends saying that people shouldn’t be ordering stuff online that’s none essential but at the same time we need to try and maintain some semblance of economy and especially support local business in this difficult time.

OP your friend is a dick. She’s not risking her life, it’s more risky at the moment but so is going to the supermarket. She’s working hard granted but really she should be happy that she’s still got a job to work hard for. Many haven’t and would hope to be in her position.

I honestly think you should be able to order what ever you like, essential or not! It’s up to you & no one else’s choice. What you ordered was for birthdays & that seems pretty essential to me. I’m sure your love ones will feel more connected to, during this isolating time when you can’t actually be with them. Don’t write your friend off though. People are reacting differently during this bizarre time. But when you’re ready let her know how you feel & that you didn’t appreciate her view.

I’ve recently ordered some nail polishes as a treat to me. My hair is a total mess. I’ve not been out of jeans for four weeks. I’ve not put on any makeup, not even lipstick. I work on a self employed basis with one of the health regulators and my last work was the last week in February so I have no income. Thankfully my husband has a decent pension or we’d be screwed.

So no I don’t feel guilty about my nail polishes. They might not be ‘essential’ but I feel as though I’ve lost virtually everything else that makes me human and female so slapping a bit of bright red polish on my nails actually matters to me. The Hermes man who delivered them is the same one who has been delivering here for years and he totally relies on his delivery job for his income.

If your friend ha# an issue with what she’s delivering to people she can always resign.

Government hasn’t said not to order online in fact they encourage it to help the economy keep going and businesses stay afloat. Order what you want and don’t apologise for it

AuntieMarys
Perfect response.
After you've sent her a card, avoid communication as much as possible!
It's our son's 18th in mid May & online orders are happening.

Next time she does (if you are still friends !) this say "I know this is a stressful time for you and I can appreciate how hard this is going out and working. However, I do not appreciate being dictated to or told what I can and cannot buy. I can appreciate as a courier you think these things aren't essential but you wouldn't have a job without people ordering it. And unlike many others at this time , you do actually have a job. Millions have been laid off. Whether you want to self isolate , well frankly I asked you how you were because I was worried about you and then got an earful about ordering a birthday card which I found quite rude & I was left hurt and upset and wondering why I bothered to ask. It's not the first time you have done this and if you want to keep my friendship I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself in future . Thanks for understanding . "

I'd evaluate how much of a friend she really is in general...

Your friend is being completely ridiculous. I have bought cards online including an anniversary card for other half during lockdown. It was my birthday a few weeks ago and it honestly made my day receiving cards in the post from people I did not expect it from. My best friend however, nothing not even a card and it upset me so go buy those cards. You have no idea how much they will mean given the current situation x

You should tell her that there are tens of thousands of people who would gladly do her job in a heartbeat right now!
She's not a friend, no actual friend would say that to you. This virus is going to be around for a long time, probably a year or two, so if everyone stops ordering non essential items then our economy will literally grind to a halt, there will be no businesses left after covid. She's being unbelievably selfish in her thinking.
My son will be 2 next week, if people like her got her way he'd have absolutely no presents or cards. It's bad enough that he won't get to see anyone but me so buying him gifts is all I can do to make it easier.
In my opinion you should cut all contact, she's selfish and negative and is just trying to make you feel bad. I hope your family enjoy their cards, no 16 year old especially should ever not get one so don't feel bad, you're doing nothing wrong.

She’s being ridiculous. My daughter had her birthday last week & I ordered extra cards online at the beginning of lockdown. I sent them to all her grandparents so they didn’t have to go out to the shops to buy a card. Your “friend “ is a prize asshole

I haven't been ordering anything other than food as felt for the warehouse workers and the drivers. It's interesting to read that most people see it the other way round. It's a minefield trying to do the right thing with this pandemic!

We are being encouraged to shop online (Aus) to keep the economy going. There has got to be some balance. Your friend is no friend, as an earlier poster said tell her if she doesn’t want her job there are plenty others who do. Presumably she wants to stay employed but would prefer not to have to work too hard for her money,

Maybe it's not as good as a physical card, but there is an enormous range of electronic cards for all occasions, many charming funny or beautiful with carefully chosen music from Jacky Lawson cards. Just Google this. These give pleasure and can be kept to view over and over again. Created in Susse , but also sold to the USA which may account for some rather over sentimental ones. Very easy to send online with specified dates at your demand so no dealing with stamps and trips to a post box.

What a strange friend. Buying anything online is good, it keeps people in work including the couriers and the post people. Who cares if anyone buys non essentials if they can afford to, it's nobody else's business and makes life a bit more fun than it would otherwise be at this time.

You're friend would hate to see how much shit I don't need I've ordered.

It's none of her business. Just because its lockdown doesn't mean people cant get cards and birthday presents.

i wonder if her household is really so comfortable financially.
i can't imagine doing such a hard, poorly paid dismal job as courier unless i had no choice, was desperate for the money.
perhaps she has underlying issues that are stressing her. extra i mean to cv.

Tell her to fuck off.

Economy is in utter crisis. Shops are closed. If people stop buying online too! Your friend needs a little rest I think.

We just spent over an hour on zoom discussing strategies as a group of small businesses trying to stay in business after this. It is very stressful bc of the new rules by petty bureaucrats who lack common sense

Any online purchases are greatly appreciated. People commit suicide bc they lose their businesses and cannot go on. It is important to buy if we can.

She is not a friend. She is not the purchase police and she IS U.

Ignore her.

I've got a post lady friend on my fb who keeps ranting can we stop buying and sending stuff and all she wants to deliver is government and nhs letters.

Other side we have small businesses desperate to sell stuff online to keep some money going.

I can see both points. More deliveries means more contact with people/objects.

But also if we can keep some businesses getting money and working then that's good for economy?