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Original poster

Found husbands secret phone

616 replies

Sandpaperkisses357 · 17/04/2020 19:09

I have, a few days ago, found a phone I never knew my husband had..(I never usually would go through his phone but I just got a horrible feeling)and on it are texts from one of his female friends, one of which was asking him to send her money, 100 or 150 if possible as things are hard for her and family can't help.. next msg, her asking again and saying she will pay back the 1000?! He already sent last month When she gets bk on her feet WTF?! Another msg, burn after u read this ..
I am fuming to say the least .. how do I approach this ..
That money could have gone on the family, maybe for a holiday, which we've had one of in our 10 yrs together or get me my driving lessons he keeps putting off as " we can't afford it" but not just on some other woman.
Now I'm questioning our whole lives together and wondering is he having an affair?
We have 5 kids together, and can't just leave so easily..feeling so depressed about it all .. and even harder in the current circumstances too.
Totally heartbroken Sad

OP posts:
oohnicevase · 17/04/2020 19:11

I'd want to know who the woman was not about the money .. have you asked him?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/04/2020 19:12

You put the kids to bed and then say who the fuck is this woman?!

lmcneil003 · 17/04/2020 19:13

Poor you Flowers

He could be doing someone a philanthropic good, so find out before judging

Ohnoherewego62 · 17/04/2020 19:13

I'd also want to know who she was!!!!

Lending someone a grand when you have 5 kids together??? Not even discussing or mentioning to you? Not right at all.

Ernieshere · 17/04/2020 19:14

He could have a child with her.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/04/2020 19:14

Sorry op but my first thought was a secret family he’s supporting

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 17/04/2020 19:14

Sorry OP, I know that feeling when you suddenly realise you can't trust anything you thought you knew about your DH. IMO there's only one reason to have a secret phone.

MrsRaab · 17/04/2020 19:15

I'm so sorry that's awful

HollowTalk · 17/04/2020 19:16

Do you not share bank accounts?

MoltoAgitato · 17/04/2020 19:17

Do nothing now, and to quote MN get ducks in a row. Take pictures on your own phone of the messages for evidence later.

Ohtherewearethen · 17/04/2020 19:18

Was she the only person from whom there were texts on this phone? You say she is one of his friends, so you know and have met her? I'd want to know what hold she has over him and why. Using the second phone is very suspicious behaviour indeed. Use the phone to ring your phone so you have the number and he sees that you have found it. If he brings it up, say you couldn't find your phone but found this one so used it to locate yours. Then ask him about it and see what he comes up with. I'm so sorry he has been dishonest with you. I hope you are ok

Elieza · 17/04/2020 19:18

Presumably he got that secret phone deliberately to speak to someone on?

Probably someone he is shagging?Which would explain the money he has ‘loaned’ her? Bet she was well grateful.

Yeah you need to find out what’s been going on. Have you got access to his bank statements? If it was done by transfer you could see how much he’s given her in total before he lies about it?

Could she be an ex? Does she have any children? Who is the dad?

Sorry OP but he’s put her needs ahead of his family’s. That’s plain wrong.

Plancina · 17/04/2020 19:19

Affair/secret child is my guess. I’m so sorry. You definitely need more information, but if it were just an act of kindness there would be no need for a second phone.

Wearywithteens · 17/04/2020 19:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Mamaof2males · 17/04/2020 19:21

Where was the phone ? Is she the only number on there ? Do you recognise the name of the person? I’m sorry you found the phone and think you need to confront him immediately x

EdwinaMay · 17/04/2020 19:21

Wasnt there a password to access the texts?
Seems a bit careless to have no code when you are using a secret phone.

PicturesOfCats · 17/04/2020 19:23

He could be doing someone a philanthropic good, so find out before judging
Lol

popsydoodle4444 · 17/04/2020 19:25

Secretly lending money to a friend is one thing.You not knowing who this person is and the fact he's got a second secret phone rings alarm bells.

Have you looked on social media for this woman?,don't message her obviously but it could give you an indication of how he knows her

GaaaaarlicBread · 17/04/2020 19:25

Not got a lot of advise for you, none at all actually, but I didn’t want to read and run. So sending you some 💐 and I hope you’re ok x

PicturesOfCats · 17/04/2020 19:26

Also, add the number to your contacts, and then see if there’s a pic on WhatsApp. I’d be screen shotting everything, don’t give him any way to delete/deny.

You’ll have proof of everything word for word, so no way he can twist what was written.
If he deletes you may only remember the gist, which gives him opportunities to twist it.

izzywizzygood · 17/04/2020 19:27

This reply has been deleted

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crustycrab · 17/04/2020 19:27

Secret child maybe?

My friends relative has a secret child with a man with 5 other kids. He gives her money secretly and uses a secret phone to contact her. Wanker

billybagpuss · 17/04/2020 19:27

Do you know her?

herecomesgeralt · 17/04/2020 19:28

Don't be crass @izzywizzygood. This is someone's life.

TwistyHair · 17/04/2020 19:29

Secret phone sounds bad news