Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

I love family style and hate plating. I also hate being plated up for. I love a table groaning with dishes and always make extra anyway - usually have leftovers for the freezer.

My MIL is the opposite and always plates up for everyone else. At her house, this is fine. But she comes to my house, I put all my big dishes of food out and she tries to plate up for everyone here too! Drives me mad!

Agree, I hate food being wasted.

I also hate the faff of having to wait for bowls to be passed around the table.

Another “plating up” hater here too....and I was brought up with it! So much nicer for people to be able to help themselves to whatever they like or don’t. Always seems more sociable to me as well.

I plate up generally in the kitchen. Can't stand the extra washing up!!!

Unless I have people round. In which case we do it fancy and put dishes on the table!

Family style here, I hate my food being plated. We never have food waste as I use Left overs for DH lunch the next day

If it’s just me duh and the dc I’m happy family style but usually plate. I hate family style when with others too much faff

I plate up for close family guests we pour it on the table to help yourself

Put not pour

On Sunday I don't plate up but I do the rest of the week. This is how my parents always did it but no idea why.

Family style here to help yourself.
I think you waste more food on plates as you cant scrape foodoff that someone hasn't eaten as leftovers. Plus encourages overeating imo as people tend to clear what is on plate.

In dishes means everyone helps themselves to less first, as can always take a bit more afterwards. And food left in dishes isn't wasted as hasn't been pushed around someones plate so can be eaten the next day by someone as leftovers.

I do a mix of both but prefer putting dishes on the table for people to help themselves. The phrase "plate up" annoys the hell out of me.

I much prefer family style. People can take what they want and how much of it they want so surely less food is wasted? Why is it up to the person who cooks the food to decide how hungry everyone else is? Anything that isn't eaten gets used the next day or frozen for quick future meals. Encouraging someone to eat what is on their plate encourages over eating. Letting people choose what to eat to match their appetite and preferences is much better in my opinion.

I plate up for close family guests we pour it on the table to help yourself

I'm sorry you clarified! I was enjoying that image...

We do a mix. I tend to plate up a few bits- the ‘main’ part- and then have the extras on the table. So today we had sausage, mash, veg and baked beans. I plated the sausage and some mash, put veg and beans on the table.

We’ve found that this has been amazing for DS’s fussy eating- it gives him control. I think he was often intimidated by being presented with a whole plate of food. This way he can choose some things. He will generally try anything now, but we respect that there are a couple of things (peas and lettuce especially) that he genuinely doesn’t like.

The phrase "plate up" annoys the hell out of me.

Yes, I'd never thought of it before, but it's awful! From the same school of thought as people who are always 'popping' things in the oven and 'popping' to the shops and 'popping' things in the post.

Mixture here. I usually plate up vegetables so everyone gets a fair share (one DD will happily eat just carrots). If it's something like sausages, I usually as before cooking how many people are wanting. Joints of meat- people help themselves from central plate. Stuff like fajitas or burritos are made at the table. Some meals people say how much they want in the kitchen.

So it depends really.

I do a bit of both depending on what we’re eating, but you’re wrong about family style making people over eat. It’s actually the opposite, with a plate of food people feel they have to eat it all, whereas if they’re serving themselves they can just take what they want/have a bit then more if they’re still hungry. It’s better for kids too as they learn to regulate what they’re eating themselves

Family style here. My kids can be fussy also seem to like something one day and refuse it point blank the next. If you take something you must eat it though to discourage one dc grabbing all the pepper sticks etc. and none being left for the others. A colourful plate is a healthy plate and the kids are all veg fans.

I use leftovers from the table in omlettes/ soups/ salad. Leftovers from plates (not much) go to chickens/ dog. No wastage in this house!

I think that serving family style is a bit more of a faff and creates a lot more washing up but is nicer than plating meals in the kitchen because people can then choose how much of each thing they want to take and how it is arranged on the plate.

I disagree that it causes food waste but then again we are big fans of leftovers for lunch the next day.

I think that this style of serving food is much more sociable and love it when meals are served this way. But each to their own. YABU for describing it as stupid though!

@Cnoc No need to be rude! We have an obesity crisis in this country so I don't think there's anything wrong with providing my family with sensible portions of a healthy balanced meal. If they're still hungry they can help themselves to fruit.

I prefer family style but rarely do it, tbh.

I also hate the phrase plate up.

I think it depends what it is. A meal where there are clearly a set number of pieces per person/serving size, e. g. Sausages or steak or whatever, I'd serve those out in the kitchen. But for things like veg, salad and potatos, it's quite nice to let people take what they want, IMO this actually helps people with food issues regulate themselves and reduces waste as people only take what they'll eat... Why not alternate a system, he serves how he wants when he cooks and you do the same?

The phrase 'plate up' and 'plated meal' make me feel quite ill!

We tend to serve up at he table, but whoever's done the cooking serves people, so they me can keep an eye on sharing out what's there - just in terms of making sure it goes round. There's usually seconds available.