Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

Somewhere between the two here. The food is taken out of the oven or drained or whatever, and then everyone fills their own plate and then carries it to the table.

If you and DH can't agree on this, I'd say that whoever cooked the meal decides how to serve it.

We always serve it family sharing style. You have less food wasted because if someone doesn't like the food, it's not touched and I just pack them as lunch for work.

Depends. Weekday meals, I call everyone, ask how hungry they are and serve a portion of food accordingly. Everyone decides how hungry they are and how much of what they like/dislike they have.

Weekends or special meals we use serving dishes at the table because mealtimes are more relaxed.

I've always encouraged my children to gauge how hungry they are and eat accordingly. They're slim, fit and healthy and usually eat in moderation.

It's certainly easier to plate ip. We do plated meals but I always check how much people want first and have things like salad as self service!) If I cook extra I end up not plating we use the next day . Ior gatherings i do central dishes around our table for 19 but that's easier than doing that many plates of food asking what people want.
Plating is less washing up! With all theboandvivusr thsts enough!!

@junglegiraffe - that wasn't directed at me but like @singlepringle there are always candles on at dinner time for us and we have reusable napkins that get flung in with the teatowels (better than single use kitchen roll surely?) That said no DC here yet - currently pregnant and I suspect that might go out of the window when we have a toddler at the table (for fire risk alone!)

@JungleGiraffe yup, candles for every evening meal and napkins at lunch too if at home. They’re just cotton ones I bought from places like H&M Home, some on holiday or Zara Home. Linen ones for ‘formal’ meals like Christmas etc.

It’ll blow your mind but we each have a silver napkin ring too! Used every evening.

It depends on the meal. If I've steamed some broccoli I'll just put some on everyone's plate to save the faff of using another dish. If I've made a stew I'll just bring it out in the pot I cooked it in and everyone can serve themselves however much they want. I don't waste anything because the leftovers will be my lunch the next day. I'd be more likely to waste if I plated up because someone might have had a big lunch or lazy day and be less hungry and I don't want to scrape half eaten leftovers off people's plates.

In order to combat obesity I let my kids listen to their bodies and decide how hungry they are - if they're going through a growth spurt or doing a lot of sport they'll be hungrier.

Why do you need to pass around the plate if you are sharing and not plating up. I just don't understand. Unless you are a family of 8! There are only 4 of us and we can all reach the food in the middle. It's like having the food in the side board or kitchen, we just have them all in the middle of the table.

Going by OP's answers, I await a flounce😂

I don’t like the phrase ‘help yourself’. We do plated up. I find family style very stressful in large family occasions. It basically means some people take all the food. I try and take enough for my children first so they get to eat then I end up pretending to be full on one piece of carrot and a slice of meat because that’s all that’s left.

If you and DH can't agree on this, I'd say that whoever cooked the meal decides how to serve it.

Yes this is what we do, but DH often forgets that his leftovers are in the fridge and they end up being thrown away. I hate food waste. I find it much easier to meal plan if you know you don't need to factor in unpredictable possible leftovers.

"We have an obesity crisis in this country so I don't think there's anything wrong with providing my family with sensible portions of a healthy balanced meal."

@JungleGiraffe we always eat family style for the same reason. I want my kids to develop the ability to serve THEMSELVES a healthy balanced meal. They effective "practice" this at meal times. It's also an exercise in thinking about others' needs and wants in relation to what's available.

I love family style, everyone helping themselves, pretty bowls etc.

I hate the excessive and additional washing up it requires. As well as the extra work to set the table, make space etc etc. Especially as our table isn't that big.

So on a day to day basis, I stick food on the plate for everyone straight from the pot/pan/oven dish and they get what they get. On special occasions/when entertaining I'll splash out and get out some of my super gorgeous bowls and platters and the like to serve at the table.

Plate up during the week, family style at the weekends.

I can't imagine what your table looks like after 'family style' spaghetti Bolognese

I just take the entire saucepan onto the dining table. With a big pasta ladle. We all help ourselves from the pot.

I plate up the main (eg, chicken Kiev) and the carb (eg rice) but the veg or salad goes to the table. I find it much more sociable.

How do all these people who can't abide their food being plated up cope in a restaurant?

As for family style spaghetti bolognese, what's wrong with that? Check out the family style chain Carmine's.

We do both here. Depends on the dish

DH fills our plates and we carry them to the table. There are never second helpings and often DS has room for more and DD can't finish her plate.

I come from the other tradition (Dutch border). People help themselves with special serving spoons that remain in the dish to keep the food from being touched. There was never any food waste, leftovers were either used up the following day or frozen.

And as much as I love family style we definitely eat more that way!

Depends what it is really. If it was spaghetti or something similar that is messy over a table, I'd put it on the plates, then garlic bread/Parmesan/other cheese/salt and pepper/other sides would be for people to help themselves. If it's a casserole, shepherds pie, other pie etc it just goes on the table.

Salad and vegetables - always for people to help themselves.

30 things on a table every meal is ridiculous - is that what you meant? We would only have that for a party.

I generally leave things in the receptacles they were made/cooked in and just put them on the table - we have ceramic tile things that you can put hot casserole dishes etc on. Mash stays in the big mixing bowl

For children, put the 'main' bit on their plate and then let then get veg/mashed potatoes etc themselves. With help if needed.

I prefer plated meals. I find ‘family style’ meals chaotic in the sense that everyone leans over each other to get what they want, then you’ll start eating and someone will ask to you to pass them this and pass them that. Then of course its more likely that dishes get knocked over, spillages and the mountain of washing up.

Can you tell I’m not a fan?

Going by OP's answers, I await a flounce😂

Haha, actually I'm loving this thread. So much more entertaining than the million coronavirus ones!

I actually prefer family style, but I do find I eat more and my DH definitely does!

I lived for a year with a family that plated up when I was a ravenous teenager. I spent the whole year being hungry. For me there will forever be something controlling and potentially mean about plating up food. Sorry.

I've always done a mixture of both. It totally depends on the meal, the occasion and who is eating it. Christmas lunch and a Sunday roast is always family style. Something like spaghetti bolognese I would plate up. If it was a barbecue with variuos salads and sides it would be family style. If it was friends over for dinner with three courses eaten around the dining table then I'd probably plate up, depending on what the food was.