Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

I do a mix but prefer family style, everything in the middle of the table and help yourselves x

the blokes help themselves to the best bits of the meat dishes while the women make do with the rest

Wtf?!

Plated up. Ugh that sounds awful, like school dinners.

Family style is much better for children, it gives them some control and shows you value them as an individual.

Children will balance out their own diets over a week if given the opportunity to do so.

Family style is better for some children. Others are perfectly fine with being served. It’s the attitude around food that will teach children to be well-balanced in their eating habits, or not.

We plate, but I grew up family style. Left overs were used the next day. No over eating, no waste. But we were a big family. Now I’m an adult my family is small so plating makes more sense.

There's usually only me and DD so we both serve ourselves in the kitchen (from whatever the food has been cooked in) and sit at the table, so effectively family style but not laid out in dishes on the table. When DP (or anyone else) eats with us I'll usually use serving dishes on the table, just seems like a fuss using serving dishes, spoons etc. when there's just the two of us. I wouldn't put pans on the table so it does make more washing up (we have a dishwasher ) We don't have hard and fast rules, for lunch today I did a stir fry and rice and just divided it into two bowls, I know how much we both eat got lunch and made just enough.

I don’t get why people are blaming their own overeating on having a meal served up to them. No one is forcing that food into your mouth just by putting it on your plate. Is is ok to leave what you don’t want.

Plate up usually here; however on special occasions like Christmas we put the meat on the plates with the Yorkshire puddings and let everyone help themselves to potatoes, veg and gravy from bowls on the table. i like it like that because it feels special because it is different and everything stays hot because it is on a hotplate in the middle of the table.

@gingersausage I know that, my family know that, but leaving food in some families / homes is just NOT DONE. That’s why I hate going to someone’s house and being presented with a plate of food, and there being something you don’t like on there. The barrage of questions ‘do you not like that, chilli?’ ‘Oh but that’s my favorite you’re mad!’ ‘Oh get it down you!’ All said in ‘banter’ but it really ruins a meal for me

No one is forcing that food into your mouth just by putting it on your plate. Is is ok to leave what you don’t want.

So many of us grew up with that difficult combination of food being plated up and mums who belonged to the Clean Your Plate club so we were all expected to eat everything whether we needed / wanted it or not.

We put the pans (nice le creuset ones) on the table and I or the family serve it up. I love watching my 12 year old daughter take a bit of everything, eat it and then decide whether she is still hungry and wants any more. I've struggled for years to do this rather than just eat a massive plateful.

Plates here as I don't own enough bowls to put things on the table plus my youngest would just over eat if he had that freedom.

Usually during the week everyone comes into the kitchen and plates up for themselves even the young children and set the table, grab drinks, napkins and condiments then we all sit down together to eat. One meal a week we probably do family style. Def family style if we have company.

I usually plate up. Theres only dd and I but I can see the benefits of family style definitely and shall try it from now on. I do for family get togethers and dinner parties but never thought to do it for just 2 of us but I think there would be less waste and possibly dd would eat more veg if she served herself.

Family style, even though there's only two of us now.

We do a mix but I don't think family style is inherently wasteful. It takes a lot of the guess-work out of how much people will want and means the leftovers are 'clean' and easy to freeze rather than being on individual plates and more likely to be chucked.

I also don't agree that with family-style people will keep eating until they're stuffed. There's often a feeling (conscious or subconscious) of having to clear your plate if it's played up for you which could lead to eating more than you really need or want.

It potentially cuts both ways and neither way is 'stupid'

We put the pans (nice le creuset ones) on the table and I or the family serve it up. I love watching my 12 year old daughter take a bit of everything, eat it and then decide whether she is still hungry and wants any more. I've struggled for years to do this rather than just eat a massive plateful.

Our food was plated up because it wasn't plentiful. You ate what you were given as that was all you were getting. No over filled plates.