Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

Plate up with leftovers on the kitchen side. If anyone still hungry they help themselves. Family style imo encourage piling plate high and over eating

Totally depends what we’re having. I tend to put the ‘main’ bit on the plates and all the sides on the table.
Everyone gets the same size, no penis portions and there’s always plenty for seconds if desired.

I hate big dishes of food. I can’t stand having to wait for a bowl to be passed around and there not being enough for everyone. MIL never makes enough for everyone so I end up with like one potato and a few carrots. I prefer to dish up onto plates because then I can make sure everyone has enough rather than one person having too much and everyone else not having enough. Also saves on extra dishes needing washed up.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty

I don't understand your reasoning. If there;s food leftover, won't someone have it for lunch the next day? And if people are full, don't they generally stop eating?

How would plating up work? Unless you see the food going onto your plate, how would the server know how much you want to eat? You'd still need to make extra if you're serving people and don't know how much they eat and unless your table is next to your cooker, everyone would have to get up to see what and how much food is on offer.

I always plate up unless we have guests. Even then I will sometimes plate up some things. I hate food waste and in my family I know how much everyone normally eats, so I cook that amount, right down to Bob likes 3 sprigs of broccoli, but Fred will only eat one. If I have cooked extra - eg when making a bolognaise or stir fry, I make sure I save a normal potion (or two) for the freezer, and then plate up what is left. If I have guests, I would portion out a lasagne, for instance, but then leave them to help themselves to accomplaniments. Whenever I serve out in bowls, I have to make extra in case some people want more, and then invariably some is wasted. Also, if I were to serve in bowls, 'family style', there would be no room on the table for our plates that we actually need to eat from :)

@JungleGiraffe......Studies have shown that family style eating helps against obesity so I'm not sure what your point is

“Or are you so poor that you need to restrict food to your family?”

Rude

Definitely depends what it is and how many people are at the table. If it's 2 or 3 people it seems pointless bringing lots of big bowls through. If it's something you can make a large quantity of and use the rest of tomorrow then fair enough putting it in serving bowls.

Always been a plated family. DP too. I wouldn’t know how to go about family style meals except maybe a roast dinner but we don’t have enough fancy serving bowls for that ahah.

How would plating up work? Unless you see the food going onto your plate, how would the server know how much you want to eat?

Doesn't seem to be a problem in restaurants

Plated.
Putting things in serving dishes creates extra dirty dishes to be washed and put away, although we do this at Christmas when we have extra guests.

Gosh you sound quite controlling unless you are referring to children.

there's anything wrong with providing my family with sensible portions of a healthy balanced meal. If they're still hungry they can help themselves to fruit

As an adult I can help myself thank you. Plating up is horrible. We also need to teach children to take responsibility for their portions.

It depends on the meal - if there are chicken breasts or salmon fillets where clearly there's one person it doesn't make much difference, if it's something like a pasta bake it makes sense to bring it out in the dish and everyone can take what they want. I don't think family style encourages food waste though - surely if you plate up you might put too much or too little on the plate and have some waste - I'd rather eat leftovers from a big serving dish than scraped from someone's plate.

Doesn’t it depend on the meal? Plating up an individual portion of something (like a chicken breast) makes sense, but if it’s a one pot dish then just put it on the table and let people help themselves.

OP, do you plate us things like salad and garlic bread too? To me, that’s really strange!

A mixture. I plate up for me and DP if it's a casual weeknight dinner like pasta, sausage and mash, chilli etc. Then there will be leftovers in the kitchen for us to help ourselves to if we want, and probably a green salad in the middle of the table too. I'd do the same if we had friends over in that kind of situation.

But if it's a roast or a curry, ie something with multiple components, I like it family style. Partly because it looks impressive and welcoming, partly because people might like the choice. My in-laws plate up everybody's roast in the kitchen and it feels a bit mean and controlling. I like people to be able to choose the crispiest potato or to have no sprouts if that's how they like it.

there's anything wrong with providing my family with sensible portions of a healthy balanced meal. If they're still hungry they can help themselves to fruit

That sounds a bit controlling. Peoples appetites vary - especially kids'. I always encourage mine to take a small portion then have more if they're still hungry but kids can usually learn to moderate their own portion size very well.

We have an obesity crisis in this country so I don't think there's anything wrong with providing my family with sensible portions of a healthy balanced meal. If they're still hungry they can help themselves to fruit.

I wasn't being rude, it was a genuine question, because your post bristles with anxieties about people eating too much. Asking whether you or the people you regularly cook for suffer from disordered eating was a logical question, as you don't seem to trust the instincts of the people you cook for, and assume they need to have their eating restricted by you.

And I would say that if people are regularly still hungry after your portions of food, and are not eating-disordered, you're not feeding them enough.

I only do family style for Christmas, birthdays or special family meals. The rest of the time I put the food on everyone's plate, there may occasionally be some extra food leftover, which anyone can help themselves to.

It doesn't really make more washing up either, as most of the time i would just put the dish it was cooked or prepped in on the table for people to help themselves from. ie tonight we will have risotto, which will be made in a casserole type dish on hob, and sides of roasted green veg in oven dish. Two dishes just put straight on table.
Any leftovers will be eaten at lunch tomorrow, or veg used in quiche. So makes next meal potentially quicker to make.

Putting things in serving dishes creates extra dirty dishes to be washed and put away

Depending on the dish, don’t you just bring it out in what it was cooked in? So if I’m making fajitas, for example, I’d just bring the pan out and put it on a trivet. Same for most things unless it’s was cooked on an oven tray.

I'd never heard of "plating up" up before I came on Mumsnet and agree it's absolutely hideous.

The person who has cooked serves up on to plates in this house and everyone gets what they're given. We don't have masses of leftovers or food waste, it's not an issue. Of course we don't put food out on serving dishes for day to day family meals. What a colossal amount of extra work and washing up!

@JungleGiraffe Restaurant portions are 2 to 3 times larger than daily recomendations. Thats one of the problems with obesity. Our tendacy to eat in restaurants so much more often and there large portions

I do both but always make extra for freezing ,if I serve in kitchen I just get the person to come through and tell me when to stop ,when at table they just help themselves until they have had enough ,very little gets wasted

Doesn't seem to be a problem in restaurants

But it does because they usually give you so much food that people do leave quite a bit, or finish it even when they are full, but quite often there's enough lefts so you can take a lunch sized portion home with you. Which is fine if it's the sort of food that saves and I need food for the next day, but sometimes I rather pay less and be served a smaller portion of food.

I hate family style. Especially if you are eating with people who are selfish and don’t consider that other people might be hungry