Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

We plate up most dishes here, we generally know how much we all eat and tell people if there is leftovers.

Certain meals we do family style. Ploughmans etc. Have not noticed much of a difference in what is easier.

BeingATwatItsABingThing
But that's not supposed to happen - that's what serving cutlery is for.

I should say, when at home, 9 times out of 10 I plate up for DH & I because I know what portions we like!

My kids are small, so i portion their food. To avoid washing more dishes, i do this in the kitchen and put the food straight onto plates.

When we have guests its all in big dishes and everyone helps themselves. I really prefer it that way. Leftovers are usually taken home or we keep it and reheat the next day, theres no waste.

I only plate up if its just me and DH, would never do it for guests. As people said I don't know everyone's favourites or how much they want and I'm not the misery diet police.

I agree except that it does depend what you are cooking. If we have people for a dinner party rather than a very casual barbecue or something, I'd probably plate up because I've carefully worked out the right amount of food to get exactly the right number of servings, and I want it to look nicely presented on the plate. If I dumped it all in one dish for people to help themselves it wouldn't quite work. But sometimes I'll do an antipasti board and it's each man for himself. It really depends on the food and the company and what suits best.

@JungleGiraffe on come dine with me they normally want to arrange it all fancy on the plate with an artful drizzle of “jus” though xD I don’t think it’s a good representation of how most families eat!

I much prefer serving dishes (never heard it called family style), more sociable, less waste and everyone is more in control of what they eat. It's how I was brought up. We do plate up sometimes, some things are just easier straight from pan to plate, but it tends only to be the main item, with veg, salad, potatoes or whatever in serving dishes.

I often plate up when it's just me and DH and DD as I can do it straight from pan or oven and saves on dirty dishes, but I would never do that when we had guests. It feels a bit weird to assume how much a certain person might want and give them a serving that I judge to be appropriate when they're an adult. I'd rather people helped themselves.

Don't like family style as it means more washing up and our table isn't really big enough.

But some of the reasonings seem a bit odd - you can make too much and overeat with plating, depends on the person serving up. With family style you can just take what you want to eat but plating may pressure people into eating more than they want. Also family style may adapt better to fussy eaters if they can avoid a veg they hate for example.

Family style for sure.
My in-laws are diabetic and think everyone needs to eat the same portion of carbs they do.
I am vegetarian but when I used to eat chicken I'd get the same amount of chicken as everyone who was also going to serve themselves with sausage and bacon. I'd always go hungry.

You do seem to like to control how much you're feeding your family, unless they are already overweight and not doing exercises weekly, there's no need to control, you don't need to plate up, just let them choose how much they want of each thing on the kitchen and they can take their own plate to the table.

But that's not supposed to happen - that's what serving cutlery is for.

You are absolutely right and the serving cutlery is there. Doesn’t stop people from doing it though. Or BIL helpfully shooting all the leftovers into one bowl/dish to clear some space. No, I now can’t have anymore potatoes because they’re in with the lamb...

Family style all the way.

People help themselves according to appetite, surely that's the only way not to waste food?

it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty
that describes "plated meals", not family style...

AIBU to think family-style is stupid

YRBVVU to call a different way of doing things stupid.

I much prefer dishes to be brought to the table so I can chose how much to eat.

there not being enough for everyone.

If they only ever encounter food that is plated in the kitchen, how do children learn to help themselves to the right sized portion and ensure they leave enough for others ?

From the number of people who are uncomfortable with the concept of people helping themselves, incase there isn't enough for them, some have not had the chance.

ps I too wince at the word plating up' or 'serving up'. In the days of formal dining, the difference used to be referred to as 'French style' serving dishes on the table or 'Russian style' portioned onto a plate with servants who brought the plates to the (formal) dining table.

OP has already said it but re someone else assessing your portion size, that always happens in restaurants?

Nothing worst than be invited for diner somewhere and getting a plated meal.

In a restaurant, as a customer you can leave whatever you want. In a private house, it's polite to finish your plate, whether you like the food or not. It's horrible to have to stuff yourself especially with food you don't like

If its a decent meal then we eat family style at the table. If it's a beige food night then I put it on plates in the kitchen. Fish fingers, potato waffles and carrot sticks on serving platters would look tragic.

'family style' WTF? Never heard this phrase before.

I do a mixture- salad is always served in a bow to help yourself, If I do a roast then I put met straight onto plates and everything else in bowl for people to help themselves. Most days I just serve up an estimated portion of everything for everyone in the kitchen. It saves on washing up!

No hard and fast rules here, or weird hatred of one way or another.

I do "family style" 90 percent of the time and our food waste is very low. Any leftovers get incorporated into snacks/other meals. The kids love being able to help themselves.

We also have candles on the table (as a family we like fire...)

On a normal day, we serve straight onto plates because there's only me and DH, it when we have the in laws round, I put everything on the kitchen bench and people serve themselves - that's because in DH's immediate family, there's 7 adults & 3 kids, plus us, so I just find it easier.

We don't often have much waste though, and anything we do have left over, usually gets made into bubble & squeak the next day

Depends entirely on what it is and where we are eating.

Freezer food or eating in front of TV - plated

Roast dinner, fajitas, curry eating at the table - family style

I cook the same amount regardless and no one goes hungry!

Family style definitely. I really dislike my meal being plated up by someone else. I guess it depends on what you’re used to.

I eat far more when food is on the table than if it was served on a plate. It's too easy to keep adding more to my plate when there's serving dishes on the table.

We dish up day to day, food on the table on special occasions.

'Family style'? Never heard this before.

Would never presume to put another person's food out for them. It is always served in dishes at the table and everyone helps themselves.

We do 'family style' for meals like roast dinner or fajitas that you make at the table, or if we have guests round.

As there are just the 4 of us, we tend to dish everything up in the kitchen for most meals.

I don't like family style when you are asked to help yourself first (in-laws used to do this to me in the early days of DH and I being together) because I worry about taking too much so I take less than I want.

We put everything on the side in the kitchen and people go in a line like a carvery. Works great.

This is what we do. We have candles on the table for everyday dinner too.

If I have guests, I will put the food in nice dishes on the counter and people help themselves and then sit at the table. I usually put any gravy or sauce directly on the table. It works great. I have chafing dishes for big dinners like Thanksgiving or Christmas where I want the stuff to stay hot for seconds.

I don't like someone deciding what I will eat.