Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

We put everything on the side in the kitchen and people go in a line like a carvery. Works great.

I like the idea of "family style" (although the phrase sounds a bit wanky) but the reality is that all that faffing with passing around dishes just means that half the food is cold before you start eating. Also cold food REALLY annoys me.

@JungleGiraffe You really need to do some research. Have you tried talking to a pediatrician. I can see your heart is in the right place and you are trying your best. You just got some facts wrong

Always family style. Never done anything else. Plated makes me think of hospital food.

I think if you do family style you have to keep an eye on the DCs more, because they might take lots of the sausage/mash bits and none of the carrots/broccoli bits

But I think family style is nicer, especially when you have company, and it also gives you lots of opportunity to talk about different foods with DC etc.

We have 'plated' meals. We serve ourselves what we want and then sit down at the table. We don't have a table big enough to fit serving plates and our plates and glasses (especially with half of it covered in paperwork and crayons and books). If we have guests over, we ask them if they want to get their own food or want us to make them a plate. Then people can go back for more of whatever they like, if they want.

I think the opposite that family style isnt as wasteful

People take what they want and go in for seconds if they are hungry. We quite often have a portion left over.

Once its on someone's plate and they dont eat it all you cant reuse

@KnobwithaK We only eat family style and have never had that problem

Always serve at the table and people can help themselves. No one starts to eat till all have got what they want (unless told to by whoever’s cooked, in a kind of ‘please do start’ stylee). Always light candles and have napkins too. Very relaxed - just like to make it look nice.

I always plate up as we don’t have a dining room table to lay food out on. I do like the idea of family style help your self though and we often have this when eating at my parents house.

I plate up on a daily basis, it saves on washing up. Only put in serving bowls when we have guests or at Christmas. My MIL plates up when we go there, I can’t stand it. She usually gives too many potatoes and not enough veg!

Definitely depends on the meal. A roast will be put on the table for people to help themselves. If it's a mid-week dinner and we're having - for example - sausages, I'll ask how many sausages each person wants before I put them on, so we'll wind up with what we asked for. However, I'm quite good at making meals out of leftovers - if DH asked for three sausages but only wound up eating two (or I asked for two and wound up eating one), the leftover sausage would absolutely get put into a lunchbox the next day.

Dishes on the table, only thing I plate up is full English.

@SinglePringle You have candles and napkins for every meal??

I can't imagine what your table looks like after 'family style' spaghetti Bolognese 😮😂

Always family style here, it's how I was raised, so I just carried on. When DD was small, having food on her plate overwhmed her, and she wouldn't eat much. Letting her control what she put on her plate guaranteed she'd eat everything served, she just liked to have each thing one at a time!
We don't have much waste, and any leftovers we tend to eat for lunch.

Family style so people can choose. I love beautiful tableware, napkins etc - all a very important part of mealtimes in our house.

YABU to say it's stupid. Neither of the styles is stupid. I grew up with plating in a kitchen, my DH grew up with family style. Guess who is the fat one now... Not him!

It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty.
Firstly. Erm, you ask for seconds if you like it so you can actually stuff yourself either way.
Secondly. Isn't Netherlands well bellow UK on obesity tables? That kind of beats that obesity argument, doesn't it.
And no. @Cnoc wasn't rude. Actually a well pointed question imo

SexNotGender
'Everyone gets the same size, no penis portions and there’s always plenty for seconds if desired'
Dinner at your house sounds... interesting ;)

I can’t stand people playing food up, I don’t know why, maybe it’s my upbringing (in another European country to the UK) but it’s alien to me. Family style is so much more sociable in my eyes. I think there’s less waste too as people take what they want, not what someone thinks they should have on their plate.

We do a mixture, depends on what we are having.

Plate it up, hate having to share food 😆. Also hate when i would like the last piece of food in a dish but im being too polite and leaving it incase someone else has their eye on it pure torture 😆

I hate food being put on the table. To me you plate in the kitchen and serve. It's a meal not a buffet where you help yourself. If you went to a restaurant you wouldn't expect to have to plate your own meal, so why would or should you in someone's house? (Unless it is a buffet of course). I hate buffet style eating for a main meal anyway

We mostly put on the table and the 'cook' serves up there.

Sometimes there's enough for seconds, sometimes not.

It's up to the individual to control their portion size. When mine were younger if I'd 'plated up' then I wouldn't insist they eat it all as who am I to say what fills them up? If it was a dibbly bits meal (cold meats, cheeses, crackers, salad, dips, etc.) and they helped themselves then they had to eat whatever they took in order to understand how to manage it for themselves.

Leftovers are usually eaten for lunch the following day so no food wastage.

Always plate up. I think if i went somewhere where it was family style I'd be super polite and go home hungry 😂 bbq's are fine that way though