Are we too old for another child ?

[Smilebehappy123]

Got one DD 1 year old , absolute little beauty and I would love another baby
I'm 35 , DH is 55. DH very hands on with DD not your typical 55 year old fit and active and young at heart always laughing and playing with DD
Are we too old for another ? I don't want an only child although ideally would love another baby
Dh days he doent crave another child but in his words 'if you really want another of course I would '

It’s a year since you had your last, if you didn’t consider 54 old to have a baby what’s different about 55?!

Not at all. Go for it

I really don't think it's up to strangers on the internet to decide your family planning.

Sounds similar to my situation only I'm late 20s and he is mid 40s. We have a 9 month old.

I dont have any suggestions im afraid as I am engaged in the same debate at the moment! What are your worries? Maybe we can talk them through together?

No, go for it, you'll only be two years older than when you had your first child so if you weren't too old then, you're not now.

You didn’t care at 54, so why care now? 🤷🏻‍♀️

The tricky age is 15 if you think he’s up for that at 70, go ahead

Personally I would not, but plenty of men do

If it’s fine for Bojo, I’m sure it’s fine for your DH

Not too old at all and as for your older DH i have no doubt some on MN will say its selfish however life is a funny thing, my DD has had three friends mums die in there 30s from cancer, we have grandparents who have lived into there 90s.... we dont know what life will deal us just make it good!

I agree with pp, if you weren’t bothered about him being 53/54, I don’t understand what’s so different now. If that’s what you want in your heart, then go for it!

I think your DH is too old. There are increased risks of some conditions with older fathers.

Well youd want your current child to have a sibling for support should anything happen to you or your husband which I assume is one of your main concerns? So I think it's probably less selfish if you WANT another child, to also give your current child the opportunity to have lifelong support aside from you and your husband.

I had DD when DH was 55. Played tennis every day, super fit, super engaging, very intelligent and well travelled etc.

She is now 11, he is now almost 67 and has suddenly aged. She is perfect, absolutely a perfect no trouble DC. No health issues, not even an allergy. Top of the class.

I would absolutely NOT recommend it.

You must also consider that your DC may not be perfect and no trouble and a 70 year old father in their tweens is not good.

I thank my lucky stars every single day that DD has no extra needs.

Think twice.

55 is young still, however, 65 is not. 75 at graduation seriously not.

I would if you’re keen to have another.

Why do older men always think they are much fitter, healthier and younger at heart than everyone else in their age bracket😂.

I personally think 55 is too old to have a baby, no matter how ‘young at heart’ he is, you can’t will him to have the life and health expectancy of a 35 year old. But it’s not my decision - just make sure you have planned for every eventuality. He will be 73 when the child starts university.

There are risks, but no greater at 54 than at 56. Of course you should have another.

Thing is, I am now late 20's, 55 will still seem young to me. But, believe me, the age gap is going to bite you HARD on the arse, all of you, once 65 reveals itself.

Everyone will think it is her Grandpa and that does no good for anyone.

I wouldn't change having DD for the world, she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But would I have done it again? Absolutely not risked it.

Late 49's not 20's

My parents ages 69 and 73 are fostering teenagers and are doing a fantastic job. I don’t know why everyone always thinks that people aged 70 can’t parent a teenager. Last year they went to my foster-siblings graduation and have spent the past few years supporting them through uni no problems.

As pps have said, you do have to ask yourself, when the child is 10 how old will I/ my partner be?
When the chid is 16 or 20 etc...
But then, it’s a decision only you and your husband can make.
Will you always regret it if you don’t have another?

My experience is the same as billie

DS is 15, DH 68. DS is very little trouble but still DH struggles with parenting an older child. Aside from anything else, he is looking to slow down and the constant demands of ferrying around a not independently mobile teenager are a source of constant tension.

I wouldn't change them for the world but I was caught completely unaware by the rapid ageing that occurred. I know that DS finds DH out of touch (because he is) and there are large parts of DS's life that are incomprehensible to DH.

Child, not chid 😊

We were 33 and 51 when DS1 was born, 36 and 54 when DS2 came along. I thought about it long and hard and had DS2 more for the sake of DS1 than anything else.

You never know what's around the corner. My husband died at 51. So I don't think you should worry about this 'when your child is ten your husband will be 65' stuff. If you want one, and finance isn't a problem, then have one.