Are we too old for another child ?

[Smilebehappy123]

Got one DD 1 year old , absolute little beauty and I would love another baby
I'm 35 , DH is 55. DH very hands on with DD not your typical 55 year old fit and active and young at heart always laughing and playing with DD
Are we too old for another ? I don't want an only child although ideally would love another baby
Dh days he doent crave another child but in his words 'if you really want another of course I would '

Ruby roast, you are deliberately misrepresenting my comments.

A man who becomes a dad at 57 is much less likely to be around and to be in good health for as long A man who becomes a dad at the average age of 32. 25 years less. It’s not about him becoming incompetent, it’s about the years the child loses with that parent. My point was that that is important, that dads are important.

It a woman become mum to a baby at 57 people would be very concerned that she would be able to give that child as much for as long. Why the double standard?

I think that the current situation should teach us all to grab happiness with both hands where and when it shows itself.
Unfortunately nobody has the gift of foresight. All we can ALL do is what feels right for us.
Good luck OP x 💐

Eh... Me and DH were about the same age when we had our last DC. Go ahead if you really want it, but PLEASE be aware of the risks that come with pregnancy at an older age.

Good luck!

Yoh said a 57 year old man is unlikely to be able to play a very active role. So no, I've not misinterpreted it. You don't get threads about 57 year old women because women don't have the ability to give birth then, but I've seen similar judgements about older women on these threads about women cinsidering getting pregnant at 45/46. These have centred around the ability of such women to parent teenagers and that parenting during the menopause is too difficult. So I don't see any double standards

The main gist of threads is that men or women should not become parents past a certain age.

Generally I would say its too old to have another child however seeing as you have a one year old currently it is different. It won't be massively different having another child at two years older then you were when you had your first. Obviously people often say two are more than twice the work!

I also wanted to offer another perspective on all those saying you won't be around as long for your kids. I am young and my Dad recently passed away aged 50, no one knows what hand you will be dealt in life. Your partner could live well into his nineties or he may not, no one knows.

Ruby - very active role through childhood, teens and early adulthood, - yes I think at some point a 57 man will not be able to play a very active role - he would be in his seventies during the teen years and his eighties when the child is at uni, maybe nineties when the child gets married and has children.

People slow down as they age.

Sheldon, so sorry to hear about your dad. 💐

What is meant by very active role @itwasntme1 ?

I love the amount of comments about older dads not being active father as if once you have a child it is compulsory to teach them abseiling or mountain climbing or something.

Generally the rough and tumble years last up until 5 or 6, past then they will be at school and have playdates, clubs, sports etc so will have plenty of active play whether dads get involved or not.

And then there are non-physical forms of play such as board games, reading stories, taking them to the park etc.

And if you have girls it's possible but unlikely they will want to play games like wrestling etc.

Once they grow into teenagers older parents will have more life experience etc and wisdom to pass on.

I know young dads that are utterly disinterested in their kids and spend all day on their phone/tablet. My uncle had his only child in his late 40s, he is 60 now and still works full time instructing sport and does yet more sport outside of work! He is a very devoted father, much better than many.

This thread isn’t about a man in his forties, it’s about a man who will be at least 58 when the child is born.

A very active role is being there, being involved. He has only 20% chance of living to ninety, so it probable that he won’t be around to play an active role beyond the child’s thirtieth birthday. This could mean he isn’t there for weddings and Grandchildren.

He has a sixty percent change of reaching eighty, so slightly better than even odds that he will be there there for university, driving lessons, first flat share, first serious romances etc.

There is a good chance he will live into his seventies - the teen years. However he will be elderly, and much more likely to experience ill health at this age, a lot of difficult diagnosis unfortunately increase after 65.

People will jump up and down and some examples of very young people who become ill and very old people who are in fantastic health. But they are outliers.

It is less likely that a 58 year old man will be in good Health until the child’s early adulthood than a 32 year old. There is a c.60% chance the 58 year old dad will live to the child’s 22 birthday.

I think a lot of people see a fit, healthy, well dressed and successful 60 Year old man and don’t think what the next 15-20 years will bring. I am not questioning their parenting skills or devotion, I am merely pointing out that parenting is a longterm commitment and their chances of being able to play an active for a long period of time are significantly narrower than parents of an average age. People in their sixties and seventies experience poorer health and higher mortality rates than people in their thirties and forties.

Very well put. 100% itwasn't

I think the conclusion is that your husband IS too old for another child.

I would say yes your husband is too old but considering you already have a young baby you’ve already done it ai I would have another baby so your baby isn’t alone or only relying on you later in life. The more people to love you and you love back the better.

he would be in his seventies during the teen years and his eighties when the child is at uni, maybe nineties when the child gets married and has children.

Thats some old ageist cobblers! The ones I know of, children and teenagers, all they seem to want to do is sit on their backsides gazing at x boxes playstations and be glued 24/7 onto their bloody smartfones!

Could i get a couple of them to help me shift some equipment around the other week? Could i feck!:(

Just about it’s not ageist at all it’s factual??

Is your argument that children and teenagers don’t require parents because all they do is play computer games?

It is not at all ageist to point out that a sixty year old having a baby is much more likely to die or experience serious ill health at some point before the child hits 25 that an average aged parent.

I remain shocked by the number of people who don’t seem to understand the basic statistical reality.

The ones I know of, children and teenagers, all they seem to want to do is sit on their backsides gazing at x boxes playstations and be glued 24/7 onto their bloody smartfones!

Yep but that doesn’t mean that it is all about the physical side of it. It is more difficult to understand the realities kids experience when more than half a century has gone by since you were that age. You may easily end up being far too strict or very permissive (as any old grandparent).

It is more difficult to understand the realities kids experience when more than half a century has gone by since you were that age.

Every heard of a second childhood;?..

Mind you by such reasoning Bernie Ecclestone must be in his 4th;!.

Still that didnt stop him!

Yeah, because Bernie Ecclestone is the perfect example to quote in this case!

No worries OP, as long as he is a millionaire you have absolutely nothing to worry about!

You already have a 1 year old. So you may as well go for another, your H is still going to be elderly when your 1st child reaches 15 after all.

Why do people talk about 65 as if it's one foot in the grave? Most people I know that age haven't disintegrated

Well 60 isn't middle aged is it.
It's past that.

My DM started showing signs of Alzheimer’s in her early 60’s. She’s 69 now and has advanced Alzheimer’s and can’t really do anything for herself.

Your DM is not typical of 60-somethings.

Typical 60 somethings do not decide it's a good idea to have a newborn.