Are we too old for another child ?

[Smilebehappy123]

Got one DD 1 year old , absolute little beauty and I would love another baby
I'm 35 , DH is 55. DH very hands on with DD not your typical 55 year old fit and active and young at heart always laughing and playing with DD
Are we too old for another ? I don't want an only child although ideally would love another baby
Dh days he doent crave another child but in his words 'if you really want another of course I would '

@RainMinusBow because at 55 a woman is much more likely to have complications and a risk to her health and the baby's health. Most women would struggle to get pregnant at this age- nature's way of preventing these problems with good reason! There's obviously some risks to the chances of a healthy baby too as men age but less so.

@TommyShelby
Thanks I really appreciate it x x

I say go for it. Lots of people on are saying your DH will be too old when your child is a teenager. All the more reason then for them to have a sibling surely? Also, lots of people are brought up by grandparents and do at least as well.

OP I would say go for it, if only for dc1 to have a sibling.

@Smilebehappy123 - lol be grateful you don’t. A lot of my school friends became grandparents at 32-36 and thought I was crazy to become a first time mum at 39. They want to be great grandparents in their 50s when I will have a teenager lol.

I hope not!! I'm coming up 35 my Partner is coming up 53 we want a Baby together. I've being Pregnant 4 times but miscarried each time

If you met your dh 3 years ago and have a 1 year old you hardly had trouble conceiving, particularly as you said you never tried with any previous partners.

Yes I think your DH is too old for a another baby but I would have said he was too old for the first as well. At 35 I wouldn't be having any more babies either personally.

But you have made up your mind and so it's probably pointless telling you the problems I've witnessed with people I know who had kids later on.

@raspberryk you think 35 is too old to have children!

Yes I have heard of grandparents in their 30s. Well if your Dad was to father another child right now would u think he was too old OP? If he is nearly the same age as your partner.

Sorry I'll be absolutely no help here I just wanted to thank you all for 'explaining' what went wrong in my family(my mum, single parent to 3 kids. My dad in a shit marriage with older children who had left home. He was my mum's milkman ) they were married for 17 years and had me obviously. My dad was 57, mum was 28 when I was born. My mum left to go to work 1 day and didn't come home, I was 10, she just couldn't face coming back that was the only answer I ever got. I ended up being my dad's carer 2-3 years until he died just after my 16th birthday and his children from his previous marriage told me I needed a solicitor and to move out (all while trying to all my coursework that I'd missed and GCSEs). Sometimes siblings aren't the best. I'm the youngest of 7 and had to make my way in the world at 16. My mum still hasn't been in contact with me, she doesn't know where I love it that I've got 3 beautiful children. Her loss

@FreakStar Fair enough, but if either parent is 55 I guess the main consideration is age as the child gets older. Perhaps that's one reason as to why nature puts a limit on fertility from a female pov?

55 is old. In my personal opinion it is too old to be having babies. But many men do it, of course.

Smilebehappy you sound as if you and DH both have a positive outlook and good nature, so you’re able to cope with problems. You want another DC, so why not go ahead? I hope it all works out well for you, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t.

Personally. Absolutely.

If it's what you want, go for it. Better to do it now than in ten years time when your biological clock starts the ticking and your DH is in his sixties.

I have a ten month old baby. I'm 44 and DP 54.

@JosieJosie1 yes I think 35 is pushing it, I wouldn't do it. Thankfully I don't have to as I had my 2 by 27.

@raspberry
Why wouldn't you have another at 35 ? Interested to know thanks x

Ah ok I see you had your second a lot younger than the average age women give birth. I guess that has skewed your opinion.

I'm 32, my partner is 52 this year.
One failed round of IVF Jan 2019. Another round put on hold due to this virus.
Will try again likely next year now, in his 53rd year.
Everyone has their own path to take, if you're both up for it, then go for it.

The RCOG suggest the best ages to have a baby are 20-35, after 35 there are increased risks in many areas - which I thought was common knowledge. Pretty sure that's facts, not a skewed view due to having children at a normal age. 35 IS old to be having a baby, biologically speaking. Not a choice I would personally make.

@Smilebehappy123 the most striking thing to me having read the thread is how mean and aggressive you have been towards @BillieEilish who seemed to be offering constructive, polite and open advice.

I did have advice but I have no interest in giving it now.

@pinacola
That's fine thanks iv had plenty of good advice already thanks

@raspberryk
Thanks , I do see you point completely. I sometimes wish od concentrated more on finding a partner and having children younger but it just never happened unfortunately, DH is a fantastic dad and I do with he was younger of course x