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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if as an adult you still get an allowance of some sort from your parents/caregivers?

207 replies

Lalala89 · 12/04/2020 13:05

Hi all,

I was listening to the radio station the other day and they had asked the above question of anyone over the age of 25.

Absolutely not meant in a negative way, but I was so surprised by the calls that came in, everything from parent's paying phone bill's to power, mortgages to lump sums yearly/monthly.

Parents paying for cars/ insurances, the caller that stuck with me was a lady who recieved $1200 a week from her mother into her children's accounts (so it wasn't taxed) as her mother wanted her grandchildren to have the best life possible.

Just interested if anyone has any stories along these lines because lockdown has me curious 😁

OP posts:

BanginChoons · 12/04/2020 13:06

What? No! Is this a thing?

Original poster

Lalala89 · 12/04/2020 13:07

Apparently it is! There was so many calls coming in I was so surprised!

I'd love to be able to be in a position to help my children out with little things when they are older If I have disposable income, but surely there is a line to it?

OP posts:

Outtedagain · 12/04/2020 13:08

I still pay phone bills . Have done for 9 years.

GinDrinker00 · 12/04/2020 13:09

No. 😂 Thats just ridiculous and spoilt.

GoatsDoRome · 12/04/2020 13:10

My parents give me 25p a week as a standing order. And my sister gets 50p every fortnight. It makes us laugh

KitKat1985 · 12/04/2020 13:11

No, no allowance as such. Although my Mum has loaned me money in the past for things like getting another car, but I've always paid it back.

Unless someone is having significant financial hardship through no fault of their own (such as being unable to work through illness etc), I'd be quite judgy about people taking handouts from their parents they didn't really need. It's hardly promoting independence or encouraging people to live within their means is it?

Elouera · 12/04/2020 13:12

This question was on last week. NO. I got help with uni fees, 1st car, living at home for uni etc, but not now as an adult do I get financial help. I know in some countries, people can offset a certain amount each year as a gift for tax purposes to their children.

My SIL has had a free ride from leaving school. Free flat, free water/electric/council tax. Her parents paid for her £25,000 wedding, paid her kids nursery fees, takes her and her family (now a husband and 4 kids!) on holidays and now has the lot of them living back in the family home.

Husband and I don't get any help from PIL.

OuterMongolia · 12/04/2020 13:14

I got a monthly amount from my parents for a year after uni, to help with rent payments etc.

Original poster

Lalala89 · 12/04/2020 13:15

A friend of mine is single and has 2 children, every year ish has a big extravagant holiday, think hawaii cruises, America, Australia, all for 2- 3 weeks at a time, boasts about them etc, her parents pay for every single one of them. Does this count?!

OP posts:

Ronnie27 · 12/04/2020 13:16

Er no.

ChrissieKeller61 · 12/04/2020 13:16

Wow never had a penny since I was 16
I am planning to do a lot more for my children though, buying houses, cars etc

Original poster

Lalala89 · 12/04/2020 13:17

Sorry Elouera I didn't see the post last week!

outermongolia I'd really love to be able to give my kids a head start like that as long as they were didn't take it for granted (not saying you did)

OP posts:

Stompythedinosaur · 12/04/2020 13:17

My dm gave me money while I was an adult uni student until I was 21, but not since.

Youmeandborisbee · 12/04/2020 13:17

Absolutely not and I’d think they were spoilt rotten if they did.

Rezie · 12/04/2020 13:18

I just realized my dad still pays for my insurance. Need to chat with him about it. He got it on a discount from work for the whole family in the 90's so it's a good deal and you can't get similar one now. I think my siblings have gotten their own since they have kids and had to insure them. Mine is still under theirs. So I guess i get an allowance in a way.

WhizzingFizzbee · 12/04/2020 13:19

I’m 31 and my dad gave me money recently for a newer car, it was a few thousand. But that’s a one off and it was an advance on probate money.

Sometimes if I owe them money for something they’ve bought they’ll say no. Nothing that’s more than like £50! And each grandkid has a bank account they put money into, they’re not rich at all but if they want to why not.

I would never expect money from them as a given or expect them to pay bills!!

EmeraldShamrock · 12/04/2020 13:19

No and yes. I never take any cash from DM. I do lots for her, her shopping, her massage with heat creams as she's crippled with fibromyalgia arthritis etc. I have opened my door to an oil truck with a paid 500ltr of heating oil on more than one occasion.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 12/04/2020 13:19

My Ddad puts £60 per month into my account and my dsis account. His thinking behind it is to leave little or no inheritance other than his house. I'm lucky enough that mine just goes into my savings but it really helped my dsis when she was struggling to make ends meet with 2 kids. He's done it for the last 10ish years.

LalalalalaLlama · 12/04/2020 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeathByBoredom · 12/04/2020 13:20

My parents pay into my children's savings accounts. It's more tax efficient. We don't spend that though. They also gift us each the maximum that doesn't affect inheritance tax yearly. Again, makes more sense.

Stompythedinosaur · 12/04/2020 13:21

Although that said, dm did help us with some bigger purchases later on (like getting our heating fixed just before I had dc1). And I know she contributes to an ISA for the dc when they are adults.

I think a lot of people get help from their dps in later life (I see a lot of friends getting help with house deposits or buying baby things) but a monthly allowance seems odd somehow.

Lockheart · 12/04/2020 13:21

No but that would be nice, since my parents use my Netflix and Prime account!

They did pay for my brother's dental insurance for several years until a couple of months ago when they realised... They did give me some money to make up for that though!

They gave my brother and I a regular allowance when we were at university to top up the student loans, and when I was working in my first job after uni (very low paid) they helped me out with a rental deposit and car purchase.

If someone can afford it and wants to I don't see what the issue is to be honest. It's their money.

Bananasandchocolatecustard · 12/04/2020 13:23

Not had a penny from mine since I was 16.

CMOTDibbler · 12/04/2020 13:23

Nope. Once my last uni term had finished, that was it. They paid for the odd thing like a bed in my first house and ds's pram, but nothing big or regular. DH's parents have never given him any money post uni

notangelinajolie · 12/04/2020 13:23

I think it's more commonplace than people think. I know people who have continued to pay mobile phone contracts.
I don't support my adult kids financially but there is one Direct Direct still going out of my bank each month that was meant to be temporary and I've just not got round to stopping it. It's around £10 a month for DD's road tax - I was with her when she bought the car and I offered to pay first year for her. That was 3 years ago - thanks for the reminder op I will sort it today.

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