To ask if as an adult you still get an allowance of some sort from your parents/caregivers?

[Lalala89]

Hi all,

I was listening to the radio station the other day and they had asked the above question of anyone over the age of 25.

Absolutely not meant in a negative way, but I was so surprised by the calls that came in, everything from parent's paying phone bill's to power, mortgages to lump sums yearly/monthly.

Parents paying for cars/ insurances, the caller that stuck with me was a lady who recieved $1200 a week from her mother into her children's accounts (so it wasn't taxed) as her mother wanted her grandchildren to have the best life possible.

Just interested if anyone has any stories along these lines because lockdown has me curious 😁

Chance’d be a fine thing- it’s the other way round

To the poster who refused money from MIL

I learned the hard way, please take any money you are offered by kindly relatives!

I have a friend who has a credit card of her dads and uses it ‘whenever she is short’ he also still pays her phone bill and car bills. She is 38, married and has 2 kids. I can’t work out if I’m just jealous or if I think it’s weird

I recall a poster who refused money from parents and then was spitting mad when they died and the will was split 50 50 between siblings.

My parents help out if we need it and we pay it back and have been generous over the years but nothing regular and I don't expect it. I do understand why parents/grandparents do it.
I hope one day I'm in a position to help my kids when they need it most.

My grandmother told me to ask her if we ever needed anything. But even though we were struggling month to month, I never did. She was in her 80s and I thought that would be the height of CFery.

When she died, she left everything (including her house) to charity, because "no-one needs me"
She was a somewhat bitter person, and it never occurred to me that she actually wanted to be needed that way. I wish she'd not wanted us to beg for it though. Why not just put some in our account? She knew we were struggling with a mortgage and babies.

So yep, if someone offers, accept.

If you can afford to why wouldn’t you? My parents have been very generous with me and in turn I am with DD. She will be getting a deposit for a flat and lots of treats and and money here and there.

MsRinky

If your brother has mental and physical problems, how is he bone idle? If he has worked then maybe that is all he could do at that time. Sounds like your parents support him because he is their ill son. Also sounds like you resent that.

No allowance as such but my mum and dad help me out occasionally if I have a big expense, for example one of my horses recently had to go up to the vets. She came home with a 2k vet bill that I thought would be covered by her insurance but it turned out it wasn't. Now I could have put it all on a credit card and paid it off monthly but my mum wouldn't allow it and offered to pay all of it as I have just had a baby so money is a bit tight at the moment. In the end, we agreed to split it.
I know I am incredibly lucky to have parents who still help me out financially if I ask for help and I will do the same for my daughter.

No regular allowance, but since having my son, my parents have paid for us to go on holiday with them each summer. They've always gone away for a self catering holiday rental somewhere in the uk and insist it doesn't cost too much more to get somewhere with an extra bedroom for us. I pay for the food and mum and I take turns to do the cooking. My son and I wouldn't get a holiday otherwise and my parents love making memories with my son, so I think it works out nicely for all of us. Would love to do the same for my kids/grandkids if I'm in a similar position in the future.

No, absolutely have never had this. Im in my forties , neither set of parents has helped us out financially but i do have friends who have had extensive help from parents ( slightly envious tbh!) but noone i know had regular monthly payments , though one friend has her DCs private school fees paid for by her parents.
I suspect this might be a generational thing as i know DH older brother pays his adult DC ( 25) living costs and pays a car loan for another DC (29) .

My parents have helped us out quite a lot over recent years. Paid for half of our wedding, money towards house deposit, money towards a new car, lots of practical things for DD. I never ask them for money and find it a bit embarrassing but they insist and just put it in my account. I am immensely grateful and it’s made a huge difference to our lives. They struggled a lot financially when I was a child but now have decent salaries and no mortgage, and I think maybe want to make up for not being able to give us all the things they wanted to when DSis and I were kids.

I hope to be able to do the same for DD but it feels like a fine line to know how to be generous with your children without turning them into spoiled brats.

DH and I are part of the hated baby boomers. We paid off our mortgage nine years ago and since then we have been putting that money into accounts for our DC’s so they have a lump sum when they are ready to buy a property.
We also regularly send them amounts of £50 - £100 just because we can and would rather see them enjoying life whilst we are still alive!
It’s funny but the older you get you really enjoy giving more than receiving so why not if you can afford it.

I think as long as they don’t expect hand outs it’s fine. 2 of mine know they have a couple of grand in the bank and I hate it, they are counting down the days until they can piss it up the wall which is frustrating

My parents gave me money towards getting my kitchen done recently. They don't regularly give me money but they always insist on paying for meals, paying more if we are booking a holiday home etc. They do help my younger sister out a lot but she's a student and just about too qualify - she has 2 kids and her dh is a low earner. They are generally generous people, though not particularly well off.

When my father died a decade ago, I was somewhat surprised to find that my then 44 yr old sister had never paid her own car tax. She passed her test at 19.
I could've got the right ache over that, but I channelled by inner Elsa and let it go.

My dm gave me £15000 and £30000 so I could buy my house for cash.
She also buys shopping for me and cooks every day for my son.
I cook for everyone else.
I'm a single mother and to be honest I can never thank her enough

Yes I do. They just never stopped paying from uni etc. I realise I’m very very lucky and have told them many times they don’t need to pay it but they want to and can afford it.

It goes into the dc’s savings as we don’t need it right now.

My parents paid for our recent holiday, but only because they wanted the whole family to go. I pay DS's car insurance (I don't drive for medical reasons and he takes me where i need to go if he's free) and sometimes fill his petrol up, but apart from that I don't give him an allowance as such, he works full time.

My parents are quite well off and they do give me and my sibling cash gifts quite often. It's always gratefully received and never asked for or taken for granted. I now pay this forward to help out my DC, who are in their 20s, whenever I can, and I am delighted to be in a position to do so.

My birthday and Christmas present from my mum and dad has been a phone contract I’ve had since 2005. Last month I found out that my parents also pay £8 a month for my contact lenses which I thought I had set up a direct debit for about seven years ago.
I’m mortified. I’ve started a standing order of £35 pcm to their act. to cover it

My parents and inlaws are quite well off and have surprised us with monetary gifts in the past. We never ask for money or discuss it so it's always a nice surprise and much appreciated.

My partner pays his adult children's road tax, he has bailed them out a few times with phone bills and parking fines. I have had a few interest free loans from my parents, they helped me with the deposit for our house although this amount is deducted from any future potential inheritance. They frequently buy my son presents. My brother lives with them (27 years old) and has everything done for him and paid for. They bought my sister a 3 bed house and pay to take her and her son on two holidays per year, one abroad, one centre parcs. They also paid 75% of a brand new car for her and pay for her food. She is 33 and a single mum.

My mum bought me a white good years ago, when I needed to replace it and couldn't afford to. She did the same for one of my sisters recently. Not sure if the other one has had anything.

My step mum used to lend me £20 here and then when I was desperate in my early twenties and not earning very much. Otherwise nothing since I left uni. If I could afford to I would certainly help dd once she leaves home.